Another Covid Ramble

This virus eh, what is coming next. I was feeling a little tired today and this evening felt my arms and neck a little sore. Strange I thought, am I ill? For the best part of an hour I felt myself getting weaker by the minute until I remembered I had been waxing the bottom of a catamaran for a few hours and that holding the waxing machine up while looking up had understandably left a little strain. What a silly boy. I laughed a lot, much of it at myself and the rest in relief that I wasn’t about to become another statistic. I wonder if there’s anyone left out there in the world who hasn’t at some point worried that they may have caught it, just a moment of weakness. Of course there will be but undoubtedly there’ll be more who have had that moment. Even those who think the whole things a scam will have for sure had a little moment. Good luck getting them to admit it though. I wonder too how many people have still not heard anything about it. There will be some interesting stories getting released in a few years.

Checks the news

The Queen has had her first official public engagement today in nine months. I forgot about her. Ninety-four years old and still going strong. Why she felt the need to be out and about meeting some scientists though is beyond me. Does she really need to be doing that, what’s the point. Seems like an unnecessary risk for a very old lady to be taking while there’s a virus running around taking very old ladies.

There seems to be some kind of tier system going on in the UK. Not everyone’s happy about it though. Liverpool and Manchester seem to be in full on tier three but are then being left to rot. It doesn’t seem too unfair to give a little support if you expect people to give up everything. Seems like something you would do if you actual gave a shit about helping people through this.

In unrelated Covid news, the Tory’s are still arseholes. Actually that’s also Covid related. It turns out Wetherspoons, that chain of pubs made famous for being cheap and shite as well as being run by a major Brexit supporting Tory donor, have been reclassified as eating establishments. In Liverpool then while all the pubs are forced to close they’ll be allowed to stay open. This mob are becoming less legitimate by the day. They’re not even pretending to hide anything either which is an actual genuine concern because it means they feel untouchable. Judging by the response of the media and the opposition, they seem to believe it too and are quite happy with the situation. It’s not that we’re going to morph into Nazi Germany, of course we’re not, but we’re looking more and more like Viktor Orban’s Hungary with each thing. You won’t get a Nazi Germany again and people will use this extreme example to delegitimise the debate, but Orban’s Hungary or Erdogan’s Turkey, genuinely these are becoming distinctly possible. Anyway, this is probably better saved for a full piece.

19 Covid’s Of Hell For PM BJ Bojo Johnson

Big news today, our glorious leader has gone and got a dose…of coronavirus silly, what did you think I was talking about. In a vain effort to be a man of the people, British Prime Minister Boris ‘Bojo’ Johnson has caught a cold. All is well though because he’s still running the country from Downing Street but now in his underpants via video link. The Prime Minister, or BJ as he’s known to his friends, is said to be in a fine mood as he believes this will finally convince the voters he’s willing to suffer with them no matter what and that his private chef has even begun cooking traditional peoples food like mushy peas and Fray Bentos pies just to lend an air of authenticity to proceedings. He is said to be really looking forward to microwave curry Wednesdays after his old friend Tim Martin donated leftover food to the coronavirus cause. He has drawn the line though at the bottle of Jacob’s Creek on offer even if it is part of a meal deal. He is said to be disappointed that his Supreme Overlord Dominic Cummings doesn’t have DNA capable of catching human virus’ as they could have had a “jolly good sleepover together”. His loyal and trusted colleague Micheal Gove has taken over media duties and promised to do all in his power to protect BJ’s legacy in the meantime.

So that’s the news, wow what a day. Is it time to start preparing for the military to take over once the politicians start dropping? Apparently Dominic Raab is supposed to be the one putting on the dour serious face if BJ becomes incapacitated. We’ll call him the interim Prime Minister before General Stickup His-Arse steps in to maintain public order. Apparently the sports stadiums are empty at the moment which should be handy. Let’s see how many people need their daily dog walk then. We won’t even need to report on our neighbours for that second run they took either. Isn’t it Great being British, such a wonderful people. Spirit of the Blitz don’t you know. We’ll show those Europeans how we deal with virus’, won’t be any red tape on our procedures, can’t break the law if there aren’t any. Thank god for the NHS though. These nurses putting their lives at risk is the kind of dedication that will easily add a few hundred million extra quid when we’re sitting around the negotiation table with the Americans. If there are any left though, they seem to be out Briting the Brits with their virus response. Always bigger and brasher than everyone else. Pricks.