weak mind – Observations and Misunderstandings

It can be hard finding the discipline to do things you don’t want to do. There has been some discipline involved in writing this every day. I am a little surprised, I am less than two months from the one year finishing line and still going. It’s not a stubbornness that has got me this far but certainly once you’ve put a certain amount of energy and emotion into something it can be easier just to carry on than stop. The public shame of stopping also plays a role and there’s no coincidence I published originally in this knowledge. Creating a habit of easier just to continue than stop is also easier said than done.

Currently a catamaran in a boat yard in Greece is my home. I am fixing a few things that need fixed and waiting around for a professional to fix the odd thing I can’t or am probably better off not trying. There have been moments in which I’m happy to get on with things but sometimes, these last few days have been a challenge. One job I have to do is antifoul the bottom of the two hulls. It turns out that the painting part is going to be impossible for now as it must go in the water shortly after being painted. It’s not going back in until probably April next year. I can prepare it in advance though. That means the dreaded sanding. I hate sanding. I have sanded plenty of things in my life and I hate it.

It turns out sanding a hull is even less enjoyable than normal. You need to be fully decked out in a protective suit, a mask and goggles. This is for my health which is important but the goggles don’t seem to do much judging by my facial resemblance to a smurf – the hull is blue – and it gets bloody hot at this time of year. Throw in the fact the previous layers are proving rather difficult to get off and I am aware I don’t want to sand too deep so in itself it is pretty challenging. The point is that requiring the discipline to get up and do the job has been an issue. I have struggled. Yesterday was good in a way, although frustrating as it rained and I had to stop, I at least had an excuse. Today though has been a lovely day and the only obstacle has been myself. This is discipline, or at least another type of discipline, one requiring a different type of effort to that needed for writing in here. You think you’ve taken steps learning something but it’s a case of then discovering the thing you think you are getting to grips with has an infinite amount of variety.

I have discovered though that like everything we just need to look at it all one step, or one day, at a time. If I look at the entire two hulls it becomes a huge task and a hugely off-putting one at that. If I just say today I will sand for the morning or until X o’clock then suddenly I am more inclined to crack on and see the morning through. Like everything, if we ignore the enormity of any task or issue and take it one day at a time it all seems much more manageable. I say that, the theory sounds nice, I’ll let you know how I get on and whether I’m simply talking out of my arse once more.

I’m having one of those ‘Own it!!‘ days. It began when I was feeling a little lazy earlier while ‘working’ and decided to put a podcast on in the background. I wasn’t in the mood to learn anything so dismissed the more intellectual ones I like to impress people with and listened to Joe Rogan instead. His guest was comedian Bert Kreischer who I discovered recently on another podcast and who seems like the kind of guy who would deeply offend certain people. In that case as far as I’m concerned he is doing the job a stand-up comedian should be doing; using humour to highlight our worst tendencies and hypocrisies. Joe Rogan’s podcast is generally a hit although he gets it wrong sometimes, but there are some like this one in which you feel as if you’re just hanging out with two mates smoking, drinking and talking shit. While some may dismiss that kind of behaviour I feel they miss the point that people need that. They need to talk shit and not care. Sometimes Joe Rogan can start talking about exercise and health and you know the man lives what he’s saying, there’s an intensity to it that dare I say is inspiring.

For anyone who has read any of these on a regular basis they will be aware of how a couple of months ago I had an own it!! moment after an energising salt water cleanse. It’s a powerful one and it makes you realise how much a healthy gut can have an effect upon your mood and your energy levels. I slowly slipped back into my old unhealthy ways and am now back relying on coffee for energy and pastries for a easy lunch. Needless to say I’m groggy and lethargic most of the time but importantly having not always been groggy and lethargic I am aware of there being other states of existence. Much of this is mental, the drive to achieve and the energy to make it happen comes from the mind in many ways but if the gut is a second brain then we can’t overlook it’s contribution too. I’ve just started reading the book Gut by Giulia Enders again and seeing as I’ve just got over my readers block I’m pretty confident I’ll make it beyond page twenty this time.

Nobody should go through life lethargic and groggy, and if one thing is clear as the world falls apart around us is that life is finite, why waste it killing time. I’m going to finish this bag of coffee I’ve got, transition back to green tea and cut out the bloody sugar which I’m surrounded by from working in a bakery and being weak. How long this will last is anyones guess but considering this daily blog has lasted about four months now I’m clearly capable of the previously impossible with a little effort. I’m probably going to do some yoga, some calisthenics and go for a run after this. I’ve got to do something with my time, might as well own what I say.

Tag: weak mind

To Become A True Disciple Of Discipline

Own It!!