To Re-Take The Debate

The Coronavirus Act will likely be renewed this week. It will mark six months since it was initially pushed through. It was supposed to last for two years but this was reduced to six months, I can’t remember why exactly, some kind of outcry over the obvious I suspect. The current discussion is whether the act itself should require a debate and Parliamentary approval before it is renewed. The Government unsurprisingly says this is not necessary and is simply delaying something of total urgency while nearly everyone else seems to think that something which gives quite alarming powers to the police and which limits our abilities to think and act for ourselves should actually be talked about a little. Even with the Tory rebellions expected it will still likely pass once more.

What I’m confused by slightly is how any discussion of civil liberties is unfolding. For the last six months the people who have been fighting the idea of being told what to do, be that movement, the wearing of masks, types of interactions, closing of businesses, are the right wing. The libertarian right wing to be precise but still they have managed to get the attention of many others on that spectrum of society. The left wing though, and that includes left wing libertarians, are no where to be seen. Any discussion of lockdowns and suspicions around this virus have been incredibly one sided, from a political spectrum at least. While the reasons may differ surely there are enough on the left concerned with attacks on our civil liberties.

It could simply be the method of approach. Undeniably there have been plenty of articles on more left wing websites about the dangers of present government policy. It surely can’t just be anyone on the left and in the centre believes this is a very real virus and we all need to adopt these measures to combat it, and that on the right people don’t believe it’s true and are willing to go to great lengths to argue it. I admit I am grouping an awful lot of people in what seems like three rather large and cumbersome boxes, but it makes understanding or explaining it from a political perspective far more straightforward.

It may be a capitalist economic thing pushing on the libertarians. Why the left are so health conscious though confuses me, are they that learned and educated. Ultimately it just appears even this debate has become polarised and not just in the forced clumsy way I have attempted here. Without endangering anyone or being irresponsible, it may just be time to retake the debate. Change the narrative slightly. We can question the motives of government and not give a shit about the economy reopening. That’s an angle I could get behind. I don’t want to go out onto the street with thousands of others to protest but it can’t be a bad idea to try to control or at least influence the debate as it’ll go on regardless.

On The Road Again

“See it. Say it. Sorted” says a message on the loud speaker after telling passengers to report anything suspicious. Don’t get me wrong there have been situations involving public transport in the past but the constant need to remind people of the fear they should be in, the potential that there could always be something to look out for, makes me far uneasier than any possible – I’m assuming terrorist – danger does.

I just missed my mouth slightly and spilt beer on my face mask. We can add that to the drawbacks list. I’ve never quite understood why when drinking alcohol is illegal in outdoor public places, on buses, even as a passenger in cars apparently; it is perfectly fine to drink on a train. I can only assume it has something to do with them being able to sell alcohol themselves and it being impossible to regulate train beer from carry on beer. Maybe it’s just a throwback to dining carts. I’m not complaining. Few countries in the world seem to allow such things and I see it as a genuine positive of what is already probably my favourite form of transport. I’ll take a bus if I have to, I’ll avoid the train if it’s too expensive and I’ll take the plane if it makes more practical sense but there’s still something I enjoy about a train that I’m yet to put my finger on entirely. Comfortable, fast, easy, goes through scenic areas. Maybe I should go on one of those long train journeys like the Trans-Siberian or across America, the Andes, Australia and anywhere else that begins with ‘A’.

Despite spending the last few months delivering bread and working in a bakery and pizza shop I seem a little more nervous about this virus though. The little Northumberland seaside village and the Scottish countryside of my parents feels like a little bubble I’ve stepped out of. I’ve gone south where bad things happen. I’m now in the real world. A world with dangers.

I can still only smell beer. This is going to make me paranoid. Is it me, do I stink of beer or is it simply a drop on my mask leading to a false reading. I’m not sure if I can spend the next twelve hours breathing beer fumes.

I’m on the move again then. Off to Greece. I’ve mentioned it previously but I doubt anyone reads every post every day so this is me informing you all I’m off to Greece. I had a short break in Dublin over Christmas but it does feel like I’ve not been abroad for a year now. This virus really has made us change our way of existing. I’m a little nervous actually and I’m curious how I’ll feel about it. I have a habit of wishing for the sedentary life when I travel a little too much and the travelling life when I’m in one spot for too long. Considering it has been a long time since Christmas and an even longer time since my last adventure, the wishing became a slight insanity.

It can be hard to leave though. We become comfortable and after all these years I do wonder if maybe I am getting a little old for all this. Ten years ago I did meet people in their thirties just starting out so perhaps age has little to do with it. We just experience things in a different way. I do find it harder to leave my parents each time though, especially now in this present virus related fear period. I don’t give a shit about potentially suspicious packages, I give a shit about my loved ones coming into contact with a deadly virus. Leaving them at the train station questioning whether it will be the last time I’ll see them but knowing I have to leave regardless. The truth is, life goes on. The whole world ground to a halt for a few months once already and now we just have to get on with it. It is easy to blame the economy and capitalism but it’s human nature. We can’t stand still. Sometimes it’s not always easy though.

The Endless Pandemic

What on earth is going on with this virus? As expected the winter months will bring an increase in illness, which is normal, but does that also mean there will be an increase in virus numbers too. Earlier in the week the government decided to ban gatherings of more than six unless you had a card reader and the necessary funds available, the Scottish government followed suit a few days later. Today apparently the ‘R’ number is now back above one. This ultimately means we’re going in the wrong direction and they’ve added over a million Brummies to the local lockdown list to prove it. At what point do all the local lockdowns just merge into one and we admit we’re back where we were in April. Apparently football fans may still be allowed back into stadiums in October though, with pubs open they’ll at least be allowed a couple of pints before they go in. When will they just admit they’re slowly letting the virus move through the populace and creating this herd immunity they were at least honest about back in the Spring.

Bringing back the spirit of ‘The Blitz’ is a cringe worthy act and one I poured scorn on as the government and the media did their best to drum up some national unity and sentimentality when they did. Today though when I had a moment of realisation and despair that this was not over any time soon it did make my mind wander to past wars such as the Second World War. This pandemic has been around and affected our daily life now for about eight months, I despaired when I thought it might hang around long enough to hit the year mark. The mental resilience people must have faced to endure six years of hardship and the unknown. Of course they adapted and just got on with it but it is never as simple as that. A pandemic is fearing the unknown but more it’s an unseen and invisible enemy, it could be lurking anywhere. I admit generally I just get on with my day as normally as possible but it is still there in the mind, and societies daily norms are clearly all over the place still. It’s only been eight months and it feels endless. Maybe we are soft, I wonder what our grandparents would have done. Adapt or lose. Just get on with it in the meantime. What else is there.

A Harmonious Existence

Having walked into the living room and seeing the television was on, in particular the news, I was left in no doubt we live in disharmony. This does sound like one of those “well duh” statements but then as we seem so determined not to do anything about it maybe it isn’t quite so obvious as first thought. The headline story was a fire breaking out in Moria refugee camp on the Greek Island of Lesvos. They avoided throwing accusations out there but it’s pretty clear there will be plenty of legitimate ones involving local fascists, and that is what they are that is not hyperbole. What happens next as over ten thousand people, including thousands of children, spend the foreseeable future living rough on the local hillside is anyone’s guess. This story was followed by a quick report on wild fires raging across California and on the fact they have so far destroyed five whole towns as well as the resulted in the largest financial cost from fire damage in the states history. After this I left the room.

Fire may be the main focus of these stories but one represents our inability to coexist as a species and the other to coexist with the planet. The end result of both will be our own destruction. There is a George Carlin joke about the Earth and humans, I have probably mentioned it on here before, but he suggests the earth will be fine it’s us who’s fucked. The earth will just shake us off like a bad case of the fleas. That is paraphrased of course but the gist is a familiar one. If we’re not living harmoniously with ourselves or our environment we will be the ones to lose out. Countless memes describing the human species as nothing more than a pestilence, the earth has caught a human cold. In a contemporary reference the earth may have just contracted a virus.

How can’t we live in harmony then. It is easy to point out what is wrong with the world and ourselves but to suggest ways to fix this are infinitely harder. We are becoming more polarised and disharmonious on a daily basis, despite the facade of action and rhetoric we’re actually doing less to combat the environmental damage we’re responsible for as a species. Somehow we need to come together once more. Unfortunately we only seem capable of this in times of crisis and while these things are a crisis they perhaps don’t quite seem so in real time. Somehow we need to allow people to continue living their comfortable lives while reducing the harmful affects of them or make them realise other people entering their society are not going to take everything they hold dear. Really I have no answers. Living as an example is one and showing examples on larger scales would be another but all it takes is a few weeks of intense media pressure and all the good work would be undone. In fact about one day would probably be enough. We are so individually disharmonious that how can we ever expect anything to change on a macro scale. Look within you say. Well that’s an interesting angle.

The Evil Youth Rise Again

Will somebody please think of the children” said a fictional cartoon character exposing my age. They’re at it again but not with such positive intentions. We could focus on the school children who seem to be getting forced back to school. Fear from some as their children go back, ready to not just bring their homework back with them and joy from others ready for a little peace and quiet once more. As usual the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. That’s assuming there is a middle between those two ideas of course. The latest youth that people seem to be thinking about though are not necessarily the kids but those a bit older than them. Today and yesterday it appears the stories started to be pushed by the media that the youth in society are not the most likely to spread the virus. The most likely means they’re ultimately responsible now for every future death and can be used as a scapegoat by anyone from old people on Facebook groups to government ministers attempting to distract from their own ineptitude.

It is easy for the general populace to find someone else to blame. If you’re old you can blame the young and if you’re young you can blame the old. It allows you not to feel responsible for the spread of something that not one particular demographic in society can be blamed for. You may have flash points like in a gym, a bar or a school, but that doesn’t make all eighteen to twenty-five year old’s irresponsible and responsible. This is just another moment in the passing the blame on game of distraction. But then I am just as responsible as anyone else for spreading this virus, I am careful in someways and less so in others, just like everyone, or most people at least. Saying that what I really want to do, and I’m trying to do it without just blaming everyone else while criticising someone for blaming someone else; is blame the government for their ineptitude and constant inability to lead us through what probably is a no win situation, and a mainstream media whipping up fear with one hand and a calming hand over an inept government with the other.

What I dislike is not our inability to do the right thing. It is difficult if not impossible to be doing the right thing during a moment in which all advice is changing daily and all we’re doing is witnessing scientific research in real time. There are no conclusive answers when everything is at the hypothesis stage. What is wrong is how we are using this to our benefits. I include myself because I have used it as a stick to bash a corrupt government. The government though have used it to strengthen their own position and sell off even more of the NHS, give contracts to their mates and threaten the implementation of draconian laws. Opposition parties eventually made it political but in an equally corrupt way and the mainstream media have been scaring and misleading us all just to sell more papers and to continue propping up their people in power. And now it’s the young who are to blame. We’ve found a new group to vilify. Again. A new group to use as the sleight of hand distraction. It’s amazing what people will allow themselves to do in the name of self-interest.

A Burning America

There was once a time when I was mulling over the idea of going to America for a friends summer wedding. Summer has been and gone and the wedding became a tiny event with just a few family. I think we all know which virus we can blame for that change of plans. I was thinking too about maybe visiting him at some point later this year or spring next year and going on a road trip somewhere. He’s good for road trips. In another unrelated plan I thought about going to Seattle and completing a coding bootcamp course. Coding because I want to learn how to write it, bootcamps because they’re intense and good ways to learn and Seattle because it’s apparently quite a cool city and it’ll always be synonymous with Nirvana and the grunge music scene in my mind.

None of these things are probably going to happen. Partly I don’t want to go too far from the UK at the moment considering we have no idea what will happen with this virus over the winter. With the American government responding worse than ours somehow it doesn’t look like the most appealing place right now either. On top of that though it really does look like the country is descending into what can only be described as the early stages of it’s second civil war. Am I being hyperbolic? Perhaps. But taking a look at current events with another person being shot dead it does make you take notice and raise an eyebrow. A few days ago some little seventeen year old right-wing kid shot three people protesting on behalf of Black Lives Matter, after another unarmed black man was shot dead by police. Today, or maybe it was last night, a man was shot dead but this time he was marching with Patriot Prayer, a right-wing group taking part in counter protests.

A year or two ago these two sides of the ideological divide in America were squaring up to each other wearing armour and carrying bats. A few people turned up carrying guns but more to flaunt they could and as a warning that they had them than to actually use. Now they’ve started using them. This is currently an incredibly heated situation in a country awash with guns. At the moment, to say this could unfold with further violence and shooting is not an overly dramatic statement to make. It is an election year with an unstable leader willing to push and step over the boundaries of common practice in his determination to hold on to power. I’m not suggesting he’s about to lead a fascist military coup or become a dictator but he’s likely to incite an already incited populace. Really this could go anywhere. For the time being I know where I won’t be going.

A Night Ramble

Well the summer is coming to an end and I fancy a little ramble in nature somewhere. I have been trying to think of something to write tonight, nothing has taken my fancy to be horrified by in the news. I was horrified by someone I know being morally outraged on his Facebook wall by someone else with an admittedly unsavoury opinion leaving his ideas in the comments section of a post. The moral irony was missed as he screen shot the comment, told everyone to share it and revealed he had already spoken to this bad mans employers. These are the moments you realise the baying mob should stop believing in their own hype. We are going to finish the pizzas at the end of this bank holiday weekend. The kids go back to school and the tourists disappear from the village. I’ll have a couple of weeks to sort some things out and rest. I’ve already booked my tickets to go to Greece in the middle of September. Don’t worry you’ll hear all about it when it’s happening.

I wonder what it’s going to be like going abroad again. I mentioned in an early post back in November or December I think about how many flights I took last year. Spain a few times, Ireland, Sweden, Greece, Sardinia – actually maybe not Greece, I can’t remember – but my carbon footprint must have been horrendous. The amount of meat I would have to stop eating just to bring balance. I’m not quite sure that’s how it works though. I’ve made up for it this year. Zero flights so far and I’ve barely left the village. Covid has been good for my carbon karma. I’ll make up for it next year don’t you worry. It is good to take a break though, change some habits. I mentioned previously how I have been looking back, not nostalgically but almost remembering and experiencing certain elements once more. It brought a contentment and allowed a certain re-evaluation of certain ideas I had. Who I am. Such a cliche. In many ways this year has not always been easy but it has been incredibly beneficial. I doubt I’m alone in thinking this and I doubt I’m alone in thinking I am a different person now to pre-lockdown me. Total cliche. The talk is of the world and society being different permanently but the idea that individual people may have taken the time to understand themselves a little more without the pressures of normality. What a wonderful experience all round. Time with the family. Time with yourself.

But now that is all in the past apparently. A friend of the unbelieving nature suggested a new Europe-wide lockdown has been planned for the 18th of September and he used a random article in a random newspaper to prove it. I suspect that date may pass without incidence. It doesn’t mean winter won’t bring a spike though but can you imagine going through all that again in a miserable British winter. Fuck that. The British people are not mentally strong enough for that. And deary me I just remembered a no-deal Brexit will be happening then too. That’s probably a good time to stop this little ramble. It’s not quite nature but it’s the best I can get this late in the day. There’s no need to even go anywhere near that little rabbit hole of a shit show. Good night.

An Economists Take On Viruses

This is a podcast piece. I’m not always great at writing about the podcasts I listen to because usually I listen to them early in the morning on my bread runs and while I’m enjoying them and taking in the information, it’s also early and I’m tired. I forget details. I’m also usually a little lazy to re-listen. If I was really serious about making this blog some kind of success in top quality output I would take the time but as is my usual complaint recently, I’m rather tired. I did listen to the first five minutes of it again though, and it’s only half an hour but I just can’t be bothered tonight. Maybe tomorrow as it is worth listening with a clear head. Anyway enough of that uninspiring intro.

The podcast is from The Economist and it discusses viruses. Not in a fearful way discussing how bad and scary they are, although the dangers are brought up of course, but almost in awe of how powerful and important they are. They start out by telling you there are more viruses out there than there are grains of sand on Copacabana Beach in Brazil. I remember that detail because I’ve just heard it. Everything else though is fuzzy morning memory. They discuss viruses not as destroyers but as implementers of evolution. We are who we are now because of the viruses we have experienced in our evolution. When we bred with Neanderthals we gained some bad genetics, or something like that, but also we gained the antibodies they had apparently which saved us. Maybe saved is a bit strong, but they said something along those lines. Apparently there is an idea that our RNA – I don’t really know what that is – changed into DNA because of exposure to viruses. That’s the molecular structure of life. No small thing. Viruses are life forms and they were there at the beginning. I will listen to it again tomorrow because I finished the episode being quite in awe of the power of viruses and I want to remember why. Certainly contemporary discussion, especially at the moment, paint them in only a bad light but evidently that is not entirely fair.

All of this makes me think then about this current virus. An obvious link to make. It goes without saying that we are going to try to protect ourselves from such things but what does that mean for us as a species. Are we at this point in our evolution because some of our ancestors managed to survive certain virus and somehow our species were stronger and healthier as a result. I know the obvious link to Darwin, survival of the fittest and also the political rhetoric of such talk, but somehow when discussing virus it seems different. On the other hand look at this Covid virus, it seems to be taking down seemingly healthy people and there are some inexplicable examples of those who got ill and those who despite obvious dangers such as age or pre-existing illness survived without complications. Maybe this virus is rooting out some kind of deficiency which we’re unaware of. Pragmatically, is that a good thing for us as a species? Maybe it is until you think of your loved ones and human pragmatism is quickly forgotten about. On the other hand, what about all the great minds who could have furthered us as a species – found a solution to climate change for example – but are killed by a virus. The potential known and unknown of evolutionary development. It’s hard to argue against the mind that prevents climate change who also needs a vaccine or simple medicine to make it happen though. I’m moving into an idea I’ve long pondered without much coherence and which would probably be worth a piece on it’s own. I’ll leave it there for now. There’s already enough incoherence here already.

The point was though that this is a link to an incredibly interesting and informative podcast on an entirely relevant and contemporary issue. It looks at viruses without the fear. We can all use a little more of that in a little more of everything I suspect.

What Now Then Plan Man

Life is full of lessons. Every day if we choose to look we would see them and one way or another learn something. This year for many has been a learning experience like no other, not more or less than other things but certainly unique. There is nobody who could have predicted what has happened and nobody who couldn’t have learnt at least something from it. The last twenty-four hours has thrown another spanner in my face, or even in the works, let’s call it both.

Strangely enough very little has actually changed. I am supposed to go out to Greece to do a little renovation work on someones boat mid-September. I was going to do a little sailing with a friend for the first week and then work for three. The three was the limit because I had tickets for a comedy show on the 15th October from an already postponed Jonathan Pie performance from April. Unfortunately in the last twenty-four hours all has changed. For family reasons my friend has cancelled the sailing and because of this virus the show has been postponed yet again, this time to May next year. Third time lucky? Perhaps it would be wise not to plan.

That’s it though really isn’t it. Some lessons sneak up on us but some we’re fully aware of as we step into and experience them. Without a doubt I’m fully aware of the futility of planning. I say futility because my track record of never sticking to my plans makes them pointless. One reason I never stick to them is not because I don’t do anything but is down to my acting on a whim as things happen. It makes me wonder if the planning is to create a safety net in my mind as well as allow me to escape and fantasise when life is not so interesting. Currently life is interesting in certain respects but with it being unfulfilling in others I can’t deny I don’t let my mind run sometimes.

This year has made planning anything a complete waste of time. Strangely enough I actually really enjoyed lockdown because I knew I had no options, I was trapped in one place and you can’t make plans when nothing can happen. Traditionally having no options would be a problem but perversely being aware of and being lucky enough to have many creates a different type of pressure and stress altogether. This disappeared and while lockdown brought up different problems, at least the one of options was a weight off my back. “Poor you” I hear you saying and you would be right as there are people trapped and miserable all around the world but stress and weight on you back is still stress and weight on your back.

Anyway, despite little really changing my plans have gone up in smoke once more and something else will happen. Interestingly something else always happens and we just make the most of it as it does. Think of this year and all the new things people have done for example. That’s the beauty of a flexible approach to life but somehow even when that is clearly the way we still manage waste so much time and energy living in little fantasies of what could happen or be happening. It really is so difficult living in the present moment. And to just give an example, I have barely even been present while writing this, the whole time has been spent fantasising about spending the winter diving and sailing in the Canary Islands. The first step to overcoming a problem is to acknowledge the existence of the problem. I have a problem.

Memories & Living With La Cabra Negra

Humour me, I’m going to be self-indulgent. I’ve been having some weird sensations recently. It has been a long time since I’ve gone this long without travelling to another country. Even travelling within one place. The lockdown has made me change habits. You can’t run off somewhere when you fancy a change if the whole world is on lockdown. Sitting on a jungle beach in Costa Rica, diving in the Andaman Islands or maybe with a mate of mine in Brazil. Just sailing somewhere warm like Fiji or the icy cold north has also entered my little realm of fantasy recently. But I’m also in a weird way happy not to be running off. As I said habits have changed and I see possibilities with this version of normality I have created. It needs to evolve and it’ll change immeasurably before I make it in my own image but I suspect all of those things will still happen at some point before and after I reach this point. I’m really happy with this too. These sensations though have nothing to do with future desires or ways of life. These are feelings from the past.

For much time I have forgotten my adventures, determined not to be that guy who just lives on his them, repeating them to someone until they get bored and you’re forced to move on. This forgetting though has also been because I have been creating new ones and haven’t needed to dwell on things that have happened. Now though without this ability to move on and find something new to experience, I am stuck experiencing a new way which I’ve allowed forced upon me. I different kind of forward. I have found myself over these last few months remembering past events or people and this began out in a sad way as in a way I wished I could go back to these moments. This is entirely natural. This has evolved though as now I have found myself experiencing these moments and seeing them through eyes that are happy to have had them. Instead of desiring their return I have been appreciating them, but more importantly in the strangest way experiencing parts of them once more.

It’s these sensations. This is the important part, the rest is a different special. To imagine yourself back in the moment and experiencing the forest air on the nostril, the sea water on the hot skin, the rain on the face. The emotion of seeing someone or experiencing a place that leaves you speechless. Even the sounds and visuals that I felt have been coming back to me. It’s hard to explain but it’s as if I’m experiencing memories with an intensity that touches on the actual moment as it happened, not just a thought of something that runs through my mind as a movie screen. I’ll go with it because it’s fascinating and I know it too won’t last forever. It’s all just about trying to understand. That’s all we can do. Be the cabra.