A weight becomes ether, the mind is free,
The Idler will no longer come to me.
I would have liked to have written more lines but I couldn’t think of a third. I cancelled my subscription to a bi-monthly magazine called The Idler. As previously hinted this was a weight on my mind; to cancel or not. I enjoyed the magazine, it had some very interesting articles, I have read a great book on beekeeping that they recommended, listened to some new music they reviewed. While I don’t have the most hectic of lives it reminded me sometimes to put my feet up and enjoy the liberty of such a moment. The editor and co-creator is a man called Tom Hodgkinson who wrote a book called How To Be Idle, my reading of which led to a darkly amusing moment while at university. I lay on the sofa prior to a drinking session in the last year of a course I made the minimal effort in, reading this book as my housemate came in from one of her two jobs before going in to university to study. Let’s say the moment wasn’t lost on her although the relevance and my understanding of a true idler life seemingly was on me. It saddens me then to not continue my subscription but I am doing so for two reasons. Firstly I’m not around enough to actually read it and I suspect may spend a chunk of this coming year abroad again, and secondly it is a question of whether I relate to the perceived target audience. There is something middle-aged, successful in their field and southern English about the magazine and while I have nothing against any of those things, there is something about them I don’t feel I can connect with and relate to.
I accept I’m not middle-aged but that doesn’t mean I haven’t read and enjoyed things aimed at that market. The southern English thing relates to the type of southern English; comfortable, village life, gardens, good weather, kids in grammar school type of thing. That sounds horribly middle-class, but it isn’t entirely that type of magazine. Tom Hodgkinson is a self-declared anarchist with many of the articles supporting his ideals, although in a lovely soft type of way over the stereotype typically portrayed. I’m almost scared to admit it but this type of life is desirable in many ways and I’m sure a lovely time is had by all. Saying that though it isn’t me now and I’m not actively chasing it even though I don’t doubt I would enjoy it. Finally the successful part is a strange one because it isn’t aimed at super wealthy successful business men but Tom Hodgkinson is in his early fifties now and his magazine gives off the air of someone that age who is happy and has achieved what they set out to achieve. While I’m not unhappy in life now, I am not necessarily happy with my current lot either, and having stopped wanting to simply achieve endless travel, am yet to find success in many of my new desires. It is not uncommon to read things by, to copy or fill our lives with things by those we want to emulate. Are we being true to our own story if we merely try to replicate another’s, or am I misunderstanding what it is to be inspired.
The point of all this is just that it was interesting that a magazine I enjoyed could represent all these things that clearly I am rejecting. Perhaps it was aimed at a niche I secretly want to be a part of and my current existence makes it too hard to endure. It is interesting really because we fantasise so much about what we want, where we want to live, the work we want to do, the types of people we want to hang out with but it’s all such an illusion. We have no idea what the reality of anyone else’s life is, people suffer in private. When we fantasise enviously about being another person, which is what it is, we forget to be ourselves and enjoy whatever cool things are going on in our own lives.
Thank you Idler. I really enjoyed you, got a lot from you, hope to revisit you again one day; but right now, you’re just not me and I’m too busy being me to be you.
Observations and Misunderstandings 