Tag: tools

Life’s Pot Of Gold

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

My eye hurts and I’ve felt a little sore the last two days. I think I need a holiday. Summer is drawing to a close, the numbers of visitors to this little village are ever so slightly decreasing and it feels like a period of time is drawing to a close. With Autumn comes the shedding of leaves as we move into a season of rest and recovery. The hibernation is upon us and with it like it’s time to step back out into the world. It is both daunting and exciting to make another change in life when you have been within one version of existence for so long. I was supposed to only be in this village for two months and that was last October. I won’t be giving my friends the satisfaction of having stayed for a full year but at eleven months it’s not exactly been a fly by visit. I understand more now and have gained an appreciation for a life in one place which I didn’t have before, as well as life already lived strangely enough. Despite being desperate for a holiday and being able to see something new I now know I am capable of returning to a state of existence previously beyond me. Will I miss it when I’m move one. Probably actually yes. But not this exact version.

When in a few years from now the stories of peoples time in lockdown are all out I look forward to reading about them. Of course there will be people who just drank beer, had BBQ’s and got bored but there will be as many who learnt new things and ways of being. When I speak to people here invariably they all say the same thing that they hated lockdown after a while and were just desperate to get back to work. Maybe I have been asking the wrong people but it is also one of the reason’s I know I can’t stay here. I love it very much but I need more, I need to be surrounded by people who want more. Maybe more is unfair because I’m probably just repeating previous mistakes in my understanding and valuing others, I just want different. Something else, something other than this version of existence. The constant search through the permanent existential crisis of life. But nothing is permanent, not even crisis and certainly not ones involving purpose and worth. Yet we continue struggling through them, determined to find an elusive answer we’ve promised ourselves exists. Was the pot of gold not buried below the very tree he was sitting under as he first devised how best to leave in search of prosperity. Despite everything; knowing, understanding and being still remain divided. Can they ever come together?

Yet it is more positive than it sounds. If anything has become obvious from recent events it’s that in life you just keep going. We find joy and happiness in the unexpected but we must be open to seeing and embracing these unexpected. To understand that everyone has a pot of gold out there somewhere but that they themselves already have both the map and the spade is key. First though we must stop trying to use others maps and others tools. With this all becomes exciting once more. It actually is possible. It’s always been possible. It’s just down to us to make it probable.

Impractical Me

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Today has provided me with an interesting lesson. It all began with me deciding to construct myself a bed. I currently have a mattress and while I have slept on many directly on the floor and continue to neither mind nor give a shit, there is a part of me that is attempting to become more of what some may describe as a normal human being. That seemingly in my eyes involves having a actual bed.

I have access to a random mismatched pile of planks and beams, and in my mind am on par with Jesus in my abilities to work with wood. Several years ago I took an eight week carpentry evening course at at the local college. This may sound impressive but it was only one night a week and for various reasons I was only able to attend four classes. I did in that time though learn a little about joints and managed to construct quite a beautiful basket for my dog. She still appreciates it today. I decided then to put some of these skills of mine into practise and what I discovered was that I am no Jesus. My excuse if that the wood was all oddly shaped and of varying quality and a jigsaw power tool would have been ideal, my handsaw was not great for the finer work, neither was my clumsy and lazy use of a chisel. Theoretically I know exactly what to do but in practise it turned out to be anything but.

Getting back to my house with everything and ready to construct the pre cut by me pieces together, I received a phone call from a friend who had a bed for me if I wanted. Would it be a waste of a day to simply take this bed and discard all my hard work. I’m pretty proud of what I created, imperfections and all, but this bed is better. To proudly display my hard work and experience the achievement of completion or to put aside my pride and just embrace easy and better. I know what I’m going to do but I am unable to decide what is a better approach for my personal development, not that that is even what it’s all about of course.

Anyway with that more or less done, next on the list is sourcing some curtains, I’m sure the neighbours have seen enough. Maybe I can find a small tree, hollow it out and cut it into hoops for the rings before crocheting the cloth. That sounds like a typically practical and easy approach to this new desire.