Tag: successful

Procrastinating, Corruption, Meritocracy and Showering In The Rain

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Yesterday I had a little ramble about nothing at all and tonight may just evolve into similar. There are times when I can’t think of anything and they turn into some of my favourite pieces and other times when well, they don’t. I contemplated procrastinating a little more but it’s already after nine o’clock at night and this thing can’t be allowed to drag itself out too late. That and I had a quick moment of trying to be present and realising life is about one task at a time. I think I had been watching something random or a few random things which involved beautiful people or successful people and realised they probably don’t procrastinate. Or maybe they do they’re just really good at what they do in between. One day at a time though and one step at a time. We won’t achieve these anxiety inducing dreams any other way.

Politics is always an easy one to bring up, which I’ve said already I imagine. It appears a few MPs and The Good Law Project have decided to take legal action on the Government over their awarding of contracts during the Covid-19 crisis. Anyone who simply watches the mainstream media news cycle will be completely unaware of this but it turns out they’ve been spaffing a lot of tax payers money up against the wall awarding contracts to their mates, or companies with links to their mates. Quite often these companies have little expertise in the area they get the contract and in most cases they’ve completely messed up whatever it was they were supposed to be doing. For an obvious example think of the test and trace app which in itself would result in people going to jail if we didn’t live in such a corrupt society.

Talking of meritocracy I was listen to a podcast tonight called The Partially Examined Life which I’ve only recently discovered and haven’t listened to enough to give too much of an opinion. It was their discussion on The Graduate which led me to watch it the other day. I never got through the whole podcast tonight as I finished cooking my dinner and preferred to watch an episode of something crap instead but they were discussing and interviewing the author of On The Tyranny Of Merit: What’s Become Of The Common Good – Micheal Sandel. It was reasonably interesting but I had heard some of the ideas before; namely that it can result in those at the top lacking empathy as they believe they have achieved what they achieve purely through their own ability which is rarely ever the case and that it can lead to a disconnection between them and those deemed unsuccessful. It is idealistic in that it is not cohesive with modern society. He discussed about in relation to our polarised politics, or more precisely America’s but it relates to the Brits too. Basically as the title suggests he’s totally against it. I missed bits as I was distracted by cooking and also didn’t listen to it all but as I said it’s not the first time I’ve heard this and it’s an idea I have sympathy for.

Where I am in Greece is currently enduring what is apparently day one of five days worth of storms. I just had a rain shower which is always a pleasure and not one I get to experience enough. I remember dancing around in monsoon rains in India, the locals thought I was completely mad. I’m right in front of the yard security cameras with the boat so decided against taking my undies off although I doubt anyone would ever be watching. I was a little concerned about the lightning tonight as it only seems to be a couple of miles away but I’m banking on all the boat masts getting it before me. Just in case I’m unlucky though it’s also a good reason to keep the undies on, it seems to be a slightly more dignified way to go out for some reason. Isn’t human conditioning an interesting barrels of intricacies.

The Idler

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

A weight becomes ether, the mind is free,
The Idler will no longer come to me.

I would have liked to have written more lines but I couldn’t think of a third. I cancelled my subscription to a bi-monthly magazine called The Idler. As previously hinted this was a weight on my mind; to cancel or not. I enjoyed the magazine, it had some very interesting articles, I have read a great book on beekeeping that they recommended, listened to some new music they reviewed. While I don’t have the most hectic of lives it reminded me sometimes to put my feet up and enjoy the liberty of such a moment. The editor and co-creator is a man called Tom Hodgkinson who wrote a book called How To Be Idle, my reading of which led to a darkly amusing moment while at university. I lay on the sofa prior to a drinking session in the last year of a course I made the minimal effort in, reading this book as my housemate came in from one of her two jobs before going in to university to study. Let’s say the moment wasn’t lost on her although the relevance and my understanding of a true idler life seemingly was on me. It saddens me then to not continue my subscription but I am doing so for two reasons. Firstly I’m not around enough to actually read it and I suspect may spend a chunk of this coming year abroad again, and secondly it is a question of whether I relate to the perceived target audience. There is something middle-aged, successful in their field and southern English about the magazine and while I have nothing against any of those things, there is something about them I don’t feel I can connect with and relate to.

I accept I’m not middle-aged but that doesn’t mean I haven’t read and enjoyed things aimed at that market. The southern English thing relates to the type of southern English; comfortable, village life, gardens, good weather, kids in grammar school type of thing. That sounds horribly middle-class, but it isn’t entirely that type of magazine. Tom Hodgkinson is a self-declared anarchist with many of the articles supporting his ideals, although in a lovely soft type of way over the stereotype typically portrayed. I’m almost scared to admit it but this type of life is desirable in many ways and I’m sure a lovely time is had by all. Saying that though it isn’t me now and I’m not actively chasing it even though I don’t doubt I would enjoy it. Finally the successful part is a strange one because it isn’t aimed at super wealthy successful business men but Tom Hodgkinson is in his early fifties now and his magazine gives off the air of someone that age who is happy and has achieved what they set out to achieve. While I’m not unhappy in life now, I am not necessarily happy with my current lot either, and having stopped wanting to simply achieve endless travel, am yet to find success in many of my new desires. It is not uncommon to read things by, to copy or fill our lives with things by those we want to emulate. Are we being true to our own story if we merely try to replicate another’s, or am I misunderstanding what it is to be inspired.

The point of all this is just that it was interesting that a magazine I enjoyed could represent all these things that clearly I am rejecting. Perhaps it was aimed at a niche I secretly want to be a part of and my current existence makes it too hard to endure. It is interesting really because we fantasise so much about what we want, where we want to live, the work we want to do, the types of people we want to hang out with but it’s all such an illusion. We have no idea what the reality of anyone else’s life is, people suffer in private. When we fantasise enviously about being another person, which is what it is, we forget to be ourselves and enjoy whatever cool things are going on in our own lives.

Thank you Idler. I really enjoyed you, got a lot from you, hope to revisit you again one day; but right now, you’re just not me and I’m too busy being me to be you.