Tag: social distancing

When Will Saturday Come

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

It’s Saturday. Thought I would stumble out of bed a little hung over, not too much, just a enough to create edge. Have my breakfast which is more relaxed than the mid week one but fundamentally the same, I leave the dirty sexy breakfast for a Sunday. While eating plan all the semi-productive things I would like to accomplish for the day before leaving for the supermarket, ticking that off the list but being exhausted enough upon return that the list get scrumpled up and thrown in the fire which I made to sit in front of feeling like a wild man as the football results come in. Secretly I’ve quite enjoyed this lockdown, mainly because I’ve not really been locked down I imagine, but there are certain old habits and routines I miss. I enjoyed those semi-busy Saturdays. I long for the return of the football. And I’m currently not in the same house as the fireplace unfortunately. If that all sounds hard then don’t even get me started on the pleasures of a Sunday morning drinking coffee and reading the newspapers as my dog sits beside me and I’m surrounded by countryside. It’s pointless longing for things we cannot have but it’s good to be able to see the things we really value when they’re not there. I quite fancy a pint as well. Don’t give a shit about much us though. Although a holiday would be nice.

I miss my dog. She lives with may parents these days which is good for her because they live in the countryside and it forces them to go on walks everyday. People don’t appreciate the value of pets I don’t think. I can’t see her at the moment though because while I deliver food to my parents, I don’t let her see me because I won’t be staying and she won’t understand why I’m leaving so quickly after coming back. Poor girl. Poor me too. There are going to be some parties when this is all done. It’ll be a while until the pubs are open I reckon and people will be warned off getting together too much too soon but lets be honest, folk are going to go wild. We’re like school children at the best of times let alone when we’ve been stuck inside, away from everyone, sober and being healthy for what must feel like an eternity. I can’t wait for the outcry from the media, front pages of people having fun. Probably the same papers which will be a week earlier pushing for the end of restrictions. Theres nothing like a short memory.

I’m tired today. I was woken up early and now I need to go to work. I’m attempting to write this early now instead of tonight when I get in. It’s strange, sometimes late at night I get my best ideas. Maybe I should give up on being a morning person and accept life as a night owl. They usually seem happy. A little white and sickly maybe, but happy enough. But not tonight, this is certainly not going to be an old Saturday night. When I’m tucked up in my bed before midnight I guarantee there’ll be no nostalgia from me. I love you all. I’ll see you tomorrow. Fresh, awake, invigorated, just like an awful morning person should be.

Strange Times

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

We’re living in strange times. It’s Thursday today if anyones curious I discovered this earlier, I lost a day, somehow it isn’t Wednesday. Isn’t it great when we realise how little the structure of the week matters and how it isn’t actually real. Once Sunday needed to exist so we could all go to church and pretend we liked God, or use Sunday to rest from the drudgery of our failed work life balance. If God can rest then so can you. Then it appeared God developed a drinking habit because we all started needing it for enduring hangovers.

Some disgusting and healthy members of society of course love posing for photos with their dogs on hills but thankfully these freaks seem to keep to themselves whenever possible. Especially now the Police drones are after them, not to mention those machines they use to film them from the air. Now well, who knows, currently Sunday doesn’t really exist unless we take Don’t Call The Midwife or Dr Who seriously and I have no idea whether they’re even on anymore. I doubt anyone does now that we have tigers and murderers online. These days it’s anything and everything whenever we feel in the mood, porn at the drop of a hat.

And no football of course. Clubs, organisations and fans all trying to juggle the moral dilemma of how they can get the entertainment they want even though it will be like a shit training match in an empty stadium. One which must be shown as nobody wants to repay the billion pounds the sports channels pay to prop up the footballers lifestyles. Don’t forget social distancing. Two metres at all times. Gives a new meaning to contact sport.

Seventy-one year Prince Charles has recovered in a few days from his bout of the virus. It appears that while healthy twenty year old are keeling over, the old reptilian blood is still pumping. If madness, syphilis and inbreeding doesn’t take them down, you bet a little cough won’t even register. Doesn’t say much for his relationship with his wife Camilla though if she didn’t test positive. That or it doesn’t say much for this virus. I still fully admit to being completely confused by everything that is going on.

I have a healthy instinct to not trust the actions of my government or the bellowing of the media but people are dying. I don’t know how old they are because unless you’re young they don’t seem to report or give any kind of average age. For perspective people are still dying more from alcohol related illnesses each day but they insist the bottle shops are ‘essential’ and even more again are dying from smoking related illnesses but this is still highly legal. Let’s not even start on suicides, and don’t even dare mention the probable increase in suicides when people realise they have no future now that their businesses won’t stay open and they can’t feed their kids on £94 per week let alone pay off their toilet roll debts. But then the figures would be much worse if we didn’t have a lockdown and it has most likely stemmed the spread of the virus to a degree. I just don’t know anything. Everything is unknown right now. What an interesting moment in our evolutionary existence.

It is good to see the government admit after ten years of saying cuts are the only solution to saving the economy and society that no actually spending billions we don’t have apparently is instead. And don’t forget to clap your local nurse who you actively voted against by voting in this shower of incompetent, corrupt and dithering shite last December. Yes you fuckwit, you’re a hypocrite and you’re stupid. But anyway as I said strange times.

The Pudding & The Icelandic Spring

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I tried cutting up a big frozen roll of black pudding (blood sausage) this morning with a bread knife. It didn’t work. I tried other knives. They too didn’t work. I even tried a small hacksaw for cutting metal but because it was too fine it’s also didn’t work. Eventually I gave in and got my handsaw that is usually reserved for planks of wood. This virus is a trying time for all of us, our worlds have been turned upside down and we’re having to approach the world in ways we wouldn’t have even contemplated in the past. I’ll be honest I probably wouldn’t have bought a foot long fat black pudding in the past even though I love the stuff and the French version is partly responsible for me not being a vegan anymore, but I did. This series of new and trying circumstances led me to that moment when I found myself in my kitchen this morning sawing congealed pigs blood and dropping blood and fat on the floor like some kind of gruesome sawdust. It was ridiculous and disgusting, also quite amusing and with blue cheese really tasty in a croissant. I just discovered it is apparently a superfood. This lockdown is great for people. They have to experience their more creative sides and whatever bizarre parts of them that rise to the surface as a result. You can’t escape yourself if it’s all you’ve got.

In other more serious news, I just read a report from Iceland that only has 218 reported cases of the virus. Iceland apparently is a very interesting case for giving a better idea of the spread of the virus as apparently they have been testing large swathes of their population. With a population of less than four hundred thousand this is seemingly quite straightforward. What they discovered was that half of those who had tested positive had absolutely no symptoms of the virus at all and that there are at least forty mutations of the virus in Iceland itself. What is important about this is that it means we could and probably are far more likely to be spreading the virus as many more of us who have it are completely unaware. It does show the importance then of social distancing to protect those more vulnerable. It also though highlights the fact this virus is far less dangerous than we are being led to believe and that the death rate will be far lower than previously thought. The fact we even have a death rate for something that hardly anyone is being tested for in the first place is completely ridiculous of course. Also if there are at least forty different mutations the report suggests we may see the virus develop into a more contagious but less dangerous mutation. It would explain why some people are barely showing symptoms while some fit, young and healthy people are unable to survive.