Tag: Scotland

Scotland’s Narrative

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It is not an understatement to suggest that something narrative changing happened yesterday. In fact minus the hyperbole, that is exactly what happened. Being Scottish my association with national team sports has for a long time now been a familiar one. On the rare occasion we’re not being outclassed by some developing nation with a population of Glasgow and a budget of Dundee, we manage to rediscover the heroic fires of William Wallace, shock the biggest teams to find ourselves on the cusp of victory before a moment of inexplicable ill-fortune results in us falling at the last hurdle. Yes we’ll call it ill-fortune. We are Scotland and we snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It is an understanding built up through experience. We have James McFadden’s screamer in Paris followed by defeat to Georgia. We have William Wallace. We have 1707. We are the master’s of glorious failure, it seems a fatalistic inevitability.

Last night though we changed the narrative. Despite conceding a last minute equaliser against Serbia we somehow did the most un-Scottish of things by holding on and winning on penalties. We may have only qualified for a tournament but for us it was like we had won it, we had won qualification. After twenty-three years of false promise, this was a victory. Winning in a penalty shootout was dramatic too, this is actually becoming a very Scottish thing as we’re now two for two. We’ll be playing the English at the tournament and in the perfect world we would just scrap the game and have a shootout instead. Being Scottish though I’ll resist looking forward to that game with too much excitement. We may have changed the narrative yesterday but mental conditioning goes deep.

This will be our first tournament since the World Cup in 1998. I remember it too, I’ll never forget Tom Boyd’s own goal against the Brazilians when we were playing so well. I’ll also never forget, or forgive, Gary McAllister for that penalty miss two years earlier. Football can be harsh, supporters harsher, let’s hope tournament football can be a little less so for us for once. All of my national footballing memories in between have been qualifiers. The majority painful. I’m not going to pretend I watched them all either, I’m not dedicated enough to watch us draw in Moldova or lose in Lithuania. Now though twenty-three years after the last time, my summer will be taken up with supporting one team and not just whoever’s playing the English. It’s time to leave Moldova behind, learn the words to the second verse of the national anthem and look forward to tournament football. What a rare pleasure it’s going to be, cautious pleasure of course.

A Second Chance

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Lockdown 2.0 is coming. France and German signed up last week. Athens will this week. England will be joining the club in the coming days. Scotland is persevering with it’s tier system instead with no regions currently in tier four and lockdown but it’s likely a watch this space thing. Politically if Scotland’s approach doesn’t work it will have a lasting effect on the Scottish elections in May next year but equally that is a long time in politics. As this most remarkable of years has shown; a lot of the unexpected can happen in a short space of time. Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister, met with Micheal Gove the other day, along with the leaders of Wales and Northern Ireland to discuss the differing approaches and the potential financial aid necessary. He suggesting the government were listening and would give it some thought. Gove the ultimate in parodies, giving the perfect non-committal politician response. Issues have started to arise as it appears funding to prop up jobs UK-wide only seems to be on offer when the English in the south-east start to find themselves in need. The Tory government propping up their heartlands. It is an easy accusation to make but equally a very believable one on which they have form.

How then are people planning on experiencing these lockdowns. Boris Johnson says it’ll be only for four weeks but the previous one was only supposed to be three weeks and it ended up being three months. If people living in the Arctic circle can not just endure but actively enjoy a few months of winter darkness then surely we in the UK can survive some bleak skies for a bit. Apparently one method they have for remaining happy in these long winters is to find excitement in the things they can do instead which they can’t in summer months. They ski, they make fires, they go for night walks, they do indoor things. In Scotland because the weather can be so volatile it has always felt necessary to make the most of good weather and complete outdoor tasks, or even just enjoy the outdoors. When it’s raining and cold we do the jobs we have put off inside the house. It may not be the most exciting prospect but it creates a wealth of opportunities. With many having already experienced one lockdown in Spring they will be either daunted and fatigued by the prospect of a second or excited at being even better at their second attempt. What didn’t we get to learn in the first one, what didn’t we manage to watch on Netflix, what books didn’t we manage to get through and so on. Modern life has meant people rarely get to spend lengthy periods of time with themselves but it is crucial in our self-development as people. Aren’t we lucky we get a second roll of the dice. A hard six perhaps? What a glorious opportunity we have.

Until Tomorrow

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Staring at a blank screen. The modern day blank paper. Think of something, do it now. Be creative, write some words worth repeating. Yet nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

Well always something but it can feel like nothing. It’s times like these you remember to just start saying something, anything. Less than three weeks left. How will I force myself when I don’t have to. That is the real discipline. But I have an idea. Ideas never unfold as supposed to though. I’m curious to know how it’ll feel not to write. After one year of doing this everyday no matter what. How do you then experience not doing it. I might actually miss this little blog.

What to replace it with though. Likely nothing I’ll force upon others in the short term at least but hopefully something creative in another respect. It was discussed, the importance of creativity with a friend a few weeks ago. To say it is important over simplifies an understanding of creativity. But to go down that route in this moment will only result in me being both ridiculous and pretentious. Let’s just say it brings something to life, creativity in any form. it’s not just painting a picture or writing some words, it anything, it’s life.

Bellend.

That’ll do. I have heartburn. I wasn’t very creative with my dinner tonight and ate yesterdays lentils and sausage mixed with some pasta. My burps taste of sausage but I think it’s the day old lentils that have done it. I have a feeling day old lentils do this type of thing. Ah feelings. I quite fancy a beer. I think I’m just thirsty. I would love to say I don’t add salt to my food but certainly that sausage would have been packed full. Sausages are so disgusting yet we always go back. That’s because they’re also really tasty. Or they can be. This one was.

A Cretan rustic sausage to be precise. I liked Crete. I would like to go back. I was tempted this winter actually. Seems like a strange time to be moving places though. The world is shutting down and I’m doggedly fighting what is before my eyes. Why do we do this. Why can acceptance be so difficult. Too many options I always say. Most likely fear of something not immediately obvious. Back to Scotland instead though and what feels like the epicentre of everything viral. It isn’t but seemingly not far off. To leave a reasonably relaxed, warm Greece for a dark, cold inevitable lockdown in Scotland. We make the strangest of choices. They are neither right nor wrong because there is not such thing. Simply a series of events we compare against each other based upon a set of ideas formed from something long forgotten. And yet we choose value and we choose our response to this choice. One day we shall overcome. That’s likely what death beds are for though. Avoiding life’s only real obsession may be wise for now.

I shall end on this.

For now. And come back tomorrow.

Scuba Diving

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Thirteen years ago when I was but a twenty-one year old child, in a fit of decisive madness I did my PADI Open Water scuba diving course. This was during a six week trip through Thailand with a friend on the island of Koh Tao. It was good fun but despite getting the certificate the truth is we were probably too drunk when not doing the diving to have the mental capacity to remember anything. What I took from it though was that I was far happier below the surface of the water than I am on top of it. There is a vulnerability perhaps that disappears when you have a tank of air but more so you can see around you and the unknown becomes slightly less so.

There are still dangers, a rather aggressive and territorial triggerfish threateningly swam between my friends legs and when the instructor pointed this out, much to his consternation us idiots thought he was suggesting we go take a look at the lovely fishy. A few years later when I lived in Ibiza my boss was also a dive instructor and he took me out on a refresher dive. I enjoyed diving generally but having spent a majority of the last ten years as a barefoot traveller climbing in supermarket bins for food, diving has simply been cost prohibitive. Today though, for the first time in ten years I’m going diving.

…nine hours later…

I wouldn’t go as far as saying that was fun but I enjoyed it. Sometimes endured it but on the whole enjoyed it. I still struggle a little with equalising and getting my buoyancy right was a continual losing battle but it’s just something that needs a little practise. Ultimately with diving it’s one of those things that you can get better at but the secret is that if or when something happens you just need to avoid panicking. Admittedly making all these statements in four metres of water is one thing and thirty metres deep as you suddenly realise you’ve got a problem with your air and you stuck inside the wreck of some Spanish galleon would be an entirely different thing.

I don’t totally get off on diving but that’s partly because I’m still not very good at it and I do struggle to enjoy the sensation of salt water in my nose and mouth. Being Scottish I always like to believe sea water is to be appreciated from something I can stand on, and not the seabed. Saying that you do feel good after you’ve spent a bit of time in it and the longer around it, the more you want to get in. I imagine living beside the sea for a year and swimming everyday would have a dramatic affect on your outlook in that sense. Anyway, it appears I went and agreed to do my Advanced Open Water this coming week before I return to Scotland so I must have got something out of today.

A Covid Ramble

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Well it appears with winter on the horizon the world is settling for a miserable one. If we thought enduring lockdown while Britain basked in what was likely the warmest April and May on record was hard just wait until we hit January and the recently lifted Christmas restrictions are firmly smashed back into place. Thankfully I’m not in the UK now, in Greece you wouldn’t even imagine there was a virus, not where I am anyway. They’re handling it the most Greek way possible and just getting on with things. Saying that despite my ridiculously ignorant attempt at national stereotypes when they did have a lockdown it was a hard one apparently. It allowed them to open up for the summer and despite a few flair ups wherever the Brits like to holiday, the country has remained reasonably virus free. Last weekend in Thessaloniki the guy working in the hostel told me Thessaloniki had about five cases a day and Athens had two hundred. I think I may have mentioned that at the time but looking at the rest of the rates around Europe, well into the thousands, that is quite remarkable.

In that knowledge leaving this country, which I’m likely to do, seems a little silly. It’s like seeing prison and deciding you would like to go spend some time there. I never fully experienced lockdown the last time because I was working delivering bread and being clapped every Thursday like a hero. This time I would be going full power and disappearing for a couple of months. At least I may find the time to read those books I had for so long complained I was too busy for. Sounds quite exciting. I might study something too. There is so much to study. Look at me getting all excited about something everyone else is dreading. In truth I am too I’m just not sure what I’ll be experiencing enough to dread it.

I can’t wait to read the literature that people put out in a few years about this time. There will likely by films or television series in 2021. Perhaps the aftermath will be more of an interesting topic. Stories set during lockdown would likely focus on the psychological elements of the experience, but events after would likely be either on human versions of flowers opening up in Spring or will be about system change as Brexit flounders, the economy crashes and people overthrow the government and create peoples assemblies.

Either that or I’ll just be gloating about how I finally put in that application for Irish citizenship. Twelve to eighteen months and then probably another one or two for me to get off my arse and apply for the passport. That’ll be it. I give up on the Scots for being the only country in history suffering from Stockholm Syndrome bad enough to reject independence and the Brits for being a typical version of a people incapable of accepting their glorious history of domination and empire is now nothing but an illusion. If it were ever anything else. Fuck it the Irish seem like they’re having fun, I’ll go see what they have to say for themselves. Apparently too Covid rates below the border in the Republic are a fraction of those in the British controlled North. Well that’s telling. Handling it well are you Boris. I hope history is harsh on you.

One Day At A Time

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As some may be aware I am currently in Greece and for the last few days the idea of where I will go next has been on my mind. The exact details of where are not important, that isn’t going to be the point but more everything that goes into making these decisions. In the past I have stressed about where I will go next and over the last ten years there have been a lot of ‘nexts’. As I’ve got older these have evolved from thinking it would be pretty cool and exciting going somewhere to viewing a place with eyes aware that I may settle there. This idea of settling somewhere stresses me out. It influences my decisions massively and it shouldn’t because so far I haven’t stayed in any of these places but also because it’s completely pointless overly concerning yourself with such an unknown.

The problem with this particular unknown though is that it is enormous. When something is enormous we are bound to become overwhelmed by it and allow it to take over our minds completely. Of course you can’t pick somewhere based upon your entire future, it’s an impossible decision to make, too many unknowns and you’re not only choosing an idea but arguably a fantasy. Everything has to be a one day at a time thing. Right now spending too much time thinking about something like this is a waste of energy because you’re currently doing something else and if your mind is absorbed with a future fantasy then you’re not being present. You’re not doing what you need to be doing and you’re not giving what you should be focusing on the time and energy it deserves. Life inevitably starts passing you by as you’re never there to see or experience it.

There is one other slightly unrelated part but I have in the past thought I should return to cold northern places, like Scotland, because we need a little misery and suffering to appreciate real life. Appreciate in the sense of understanding and thinking but I suspect that misses the point. If you’re Nietzsche perhaps this makes some sense but his reality was only one version. The great thinkers so engrossed in the inevitable suffering of existence weren’t all Scottish, Scandinavian or German. The idea then is can you have fun in the sun while at the same time comprehend the pointlessness and absurdity of life. It does conjure up a strange and amusing image. Perhaps you would start comprehending life through a different lens. Maybe all Nietzsche ever needed was to take up windsurfing.

Lebanese Politics & Scottish Education

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Two issues today separated by geography and a multitude of other things. Lebanon seems completely fucked, the government has toppled and the western powers have offered $250 million dollars toward relief as an aid package. This of course on the proviso there are fundamental changes made within the country. This was demanded prior to the government collapsing and during protests so perhaps these changes have begun to be made. That is a lot of money but when the estimated bill for damages is currently at an estimated $12 billion, the sum offered seems like a spare change and it’ll be interesting to see whether the country is that desperate that they’ll accept them. Most likely help will come from Iran but they’re not exactly swimming with cash themselves so how this unfolds is anyone’s guess. Instinctively whenever I see an ‘event’ in the Middle East followed by protests and potential government/structural/regime change my life’s conditioning is that it is the the west meddling in and ruining another country.

Lebanon has serious issues in the immediate and medium term to deal with, having to endure someone else’s take on freedom is probably not required right now. Saying all of that these protests could be completely organic and those involved may be fighting for something completely independent of anything offered by outside forces be they western and Israeli, or Iranian. The country has a finely balanced sectarian structure, although it also has led to high levels of corruption, which has so far prevented another civil war for thirty years. If the country does become the latest battle ground in the Middle East Hezbollah will certainly not go down without a fight and it could become as bloody and destructive as what has happened and is continuing to happen in Syria. Or it won’t and they will get the desired support from the IMF without too many self-destructive conditions and they’ll rebuild. Really though I’m someone who has never been to Lebanon, despite really wanting to for a few years now, and who knows little beyond reasonably unsubstantiated conjecture. So let’s see.

What I do know though is that Scotland’s education system has struggled in the years the SNP have been in power. This is the second point, and it’ll be quick. They have undeniably done a lot for Scotland as a party but education seems to be one sorry mess after another. Inexplicably they have moved closer to the English education system and it’s higher levels of exam assessments despite evidence suggesting that not be the best approach. Standards have dropped as a result. Then there is this debacle over lowering students grades because of concerns they were too high across the board, but not lowering them evenly, seemingly doing so more in disadvantaged areas. To lower them is political. To lower them disproportionately is probably down to the knowledge of the pressure from those with influence in wealthy schools and potentially political too but that is less clear. Either way it is a stupid own goal in an already beleaguered part of government. Nicola Sturgeon has stood up, accepted the mistake and reversed it which is a refreshing move from a politician but it should never have got to that. The Tory propaganda machine will be going into overdrive as English results are released on Thursday and assuming they don’t go and make the same mistake. Surely that would be beyond incomprehension if they did. Which means it is safe to say they most likely will.

Hello Mr Hedgehog

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Today’s news then is that hedgehogs are officially ‘vulnerable to extinction’. This is down to a variety of factors such habitat destruction, human development, introduced non-native species and the use of chemicals. I remember reading a while back now about hedgehog numbers becoming dangerously low and at the time thinking I hadn’t seen any for a while. They’re not typically animals you would come across as they’re prone to hiding as well as hunting at night I think. I say both of those things without being entirely sure but I think that’s the case.

For the last few months I have been driving a van delivering bread and I am constantly slowing down for rabbits, hares and the occasional deer. There is an entire world going on at night that we’re completely oblivious to. When we sleep it becomes safe for the rest of the animals to run free. But they don’t because the roads seem littered with carcasses which usually disappear by morning, most likely into the belly of a scavenger. What is sad though and why this hedgehog news has caught my eye is that I will easily see at least one dead hedgehog a day on the roads somewhere. While that may not seem like much it adds up and considering that is just what I see and is only road deaths, it comes as no surprise the situation for the hedgehog is starting to look so dire.

It seems mad to imagine such an iconic animal could be in danger of dying out and while it’s unlikely to happen soon because of sanctuaries and the speed these things happen, there is always the danger it’ll get to a tipping point and they’re unable to survive as a species without assistance. These things spiral. The Mammal Society has drawn up a list of forty-seven native mammals in this country and eleven, including the hedgehog, are in serious danger. If it were one species then you could isolate it but when this is happening to so many we must find that common denominator in this and accept our role.

We’ve seen what can happen with the native red squirrel which now only inhabits pockets in England and Wales, and larger areas of Scotland. The grey squirrel is an invasive animal brought across from America. It is larger and more dominant which has in turn pushed out the red squirrel. I remember red squirrels everywhere around my home in the countryside when I was growing up but now it’s nothing but greys. The native wildcat now only inhabits a tiny corner of northern Scotland. Are they destined for the same fate as the Tasmanian tiger. It may be a world away but surely we can learn something from these foreign lands our ancestors plundered and altered immeasurably. If not we’ll just continue to carry on their mistakes. All in the name of progress don’t forget. Roads are supposed to guide us and lead us in certain directions, but it’s starting to become clearer with every passing morning as I witness their devastating potential that they may just have become a symbol of us losing our way. That’s assuming we ever had any direction in the first place.

Bojo The Wildling

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It appears Bojo came north of the wall today. He mingled with those pesky wildlings he ordinarily has no time for. When I say north of the wall, I mean nearly as far north as possible. He went all the way to the Orkney Islands. One suspects this wasn’t because he loves Scotland so much he wants to see as much of it as possible of course, it’s a lot easier to avoid the baying crowds when they consist of Angus and his dog than what they would be were he to brave Edinburgh, Glasgow or just about any place with a population capable of creating an angry mob.

He finally visited Scotland on the one year anniversary of his still slightly inexplicable rise to power. If that was supposed to fill us with some sense of honour that he would bless us with his presence on such an important day, all it did was remind us it’s taken him so long to come north. It took him one whole year despite the fact there was an actual election midway through the year. Perhaps his no show in that time was down to his love of the Union and the damage his presence would do to it.

Undeniably there is truth in that. The latest polls, and there’s more than one of them, puts support for independence at 54%. Nicola Sturgeon may try and take credit for this but when a country votes in droves for anyone but the man elected as leader yet has this very man foisted upon them it’s quite easy to see why opinion polls are only moving in one direction. When you see a country being dragged out of the European Union despite voting to stay in it, then expecting to be forced to endure an inevitable ‘no deal’ Brexit as the zealots in government return us to Year Zero and the ashes they hope to grow a new and glorious society out of, it’s fair to say the Scottish people want nothing to do with it.

Even the coronavirus has played it’s part. Nicola Sturgeon herself is very divisive, usually down the Independence / Unionist line in all fairness, but compared to Boris’ fumbled mumbled approach in confusing an entire nation on what’s expected of them while not actually doing anything himself, she has looked decisive and strong. She didn’t even have to really do anything, just be clear about what she meant when she did make a statement. Clearly there is something dark going on in the corridors of Whitehall and Number Ten, it’s no surprise more and more Scots are wanting out.

As Sturgeon said;

“I welcome the PM to Scotland today. One of the key arguments for independence is the ability of Scotland to take our own decisions, rather than having our future decided by politicians we didn’t vote for, taking us down a path we haven’t chosen. His presence highlights that“

It says a lot for a man that the opposition openly admit he does them more good than they do themselves. There is no way for sure to say one way or another whether Scotland becoming a free state would work in the short, medium or long term, and while it’s dangerous to suggest or believe that happiness is just waiting around the corner, let’s be honest anything has got to be better than this lot right now.

I remember the day after the independence referendum in 2014, I was in France picking grapes and I barely said a word all morning. I was infinitely disappointed that a people had rejected not the opportunity of independence because what is that really, but that they had rejected the chance to even attempt improving their lot. A people chose fear over hope. But who knows, there may just be light at the end of this tunnel of a horror show after all.

A Bright Sun Shining Day

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This sunshine is really starting to become a positive factor in life. April was torturous stuck inside while we embraced another new the hottest month on record from our living rooms and through our windows. But now that we’re all free(ish) it’s time to get out there and live again. I usually tell people I meet abroad that the best time to visit Scotland is April and May but that usually one of them is sunny and the other raining. This year it seems to be a bit of both, both sunny that is. It’s also worth remembering it’s nearly June. It’s also a bit shocking then that we have had this virus running about since March, over two months ago. Maybe some will disagree but it doesn’t feel like it’s dragged, we now have a new normal and I didn’t even see it coming.

It is scary in how easily we can just get used to new conditions in our lives, how society can become something completely different and we just get on with it. It can’t be a surprise to anyone that dictatorships slowing ebb into creation out of once semi-healthy societies. This new normal the Health Secretary was talking about. On the other hand it’s also a wonderful thing because there is something incredible in our collective ability to adapt. I’m sure it’s less our brains that have helped humans survive and thrive until this point than our ability to adapt to new events and circumstance. That ability could though be down to our big brains. Although it would also be our ability to adapt that gave our brains the chance to develop and become big in the first place. So like usual it’s a little bit of everything and I’m risking going both back and forth, and in a circle at the same time.

It would be impossible to mention all this glorious weather without mentioning climate change of course. It’s not impossible but it’s not always easy to sit there enjoying all this sunshine and warmth, remembering that it wasn’t always this way. Beautiful though it is it’s also probably going to kill us all and those big brains won’t be much use then. That was probably an unnecessary downer but it’s always such an effort to find that balance between downer and realism, unless realism is the downer. I’m sure we’ll be able to adapt, we’ll find a way. It’s just a shame we’ll have to adapt and leave this beautiful world behind to survive in a world of floods, deserts and food crisis’. I will say though it does make me want to drink cider. Lots of lovely cold cider.