You were warned earlier in the week that this day would come, and just like we’re seeing what’s happening in Australia when warnings are ignored, I’m about to write an intimate piece on my bowels. You may remember that I said my first attempt at making my own beer had failed and how it had forced me to become well acquainted with any nearby toilet I could find, well this went on until arguably Thursday. Yesterday my guts still seemed to be arguing with each other and because it had been a while today seemed like a good day for a clean.
There are various articles online describing more or less the same approach to a salt water cleanse. I learnt how to do it at a Rainbow Gathering in the Tasmanian bush about eight years ago and then discovered it again when doing a yoga course in India. I had a few years before this tried colonic hydrotherapy so lets say I’ve always been a fan. When I arrived in Australia I came from Burma and at some point in my month there I had eaten something which only upset my stomach for a couple of days but gave me the most horrendous smelly farts. A friend described it as if I was just oozing rot and decay with each puff. When I heard of the shitting / salt water cleanse workshop I was all in. Let’s just say I saw things that day that’ll never leave me, scars imprinted in the recesses of memory. A boy became a man.
It’s quite a simple procedure actually. It is important to do this on an empty stomach, so a light meal the night before and perform the cleanse prior to breakfast. Boil two litres of water, dissolve 2-3 teaspoons of mineral salt per litre – very important here not to use ordinary table salt as minerals in proper salt are important – and let it cool so it is warm but comfortable to drink. You drink half a litre and then do a series of five different yoga asanas dynamically, in repetitions of eight per asana, to help the water move through the body. These asanas are; Tadasana, Tiryaka Tadasana, Kati Chakrasana, Tiryaka Bhujangasana and Udarakarshanasana, I haven’t put them as links because I’m lazy and you’re capable of pressing copy and paste into an internet search engine. You then drink another half litre and repeat until you feel it impossible to hold in. Usually for me that is a litre and a half, but first couple of times was two litres. Even once you have released the trap door that first time I would still recommend you continuing to work through the asanas to help flush anything else out. Whatever stays inside of you will just be urinated out and I’m sure it’ll do the urethra no harm getting a little cleanse too.
I’m not suggesting for a second I’m a doctor and there are all sorts of articles online making all kinds of claims regarding health and mental improvement. I make no comment on them either way as I only know what I have experienced which is that when required it does seem to have completely flushed out whatever was inside my gut doing all the damage. In the early days too I did notice that it was a good indicator of foods which maybe didn’t suit me, such as dairy products which I immediately felt a little sick from and interestingly alcohol which I lost all desire for. I have ignored both those messages from my body clearly but it was interesting to see and maybe one day I’ll do something about them. The only thing I would say which could be a potential negative is that if it is flushing out the bad bacteria does that mean it is also flushing out the good bacteria, and that must be a genuine concern which I unfortunately don’t know the answer to. I have just started to read a book called Gut by Giulia Enders which seems really interesting, I am going to email her and see if she has any insight that she may like to share with me. It is also important to stress that for the rest of the day eating a very plain diet is important as the stomach has just gone through quite the workout. I have just enjoyed the most delicious soaked oats.
Observations and Misunderstandings 