Tag: pets

When Will Saturday Come

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

It’s Saturday. Thought I would stumble out of bed a little hung over, not too much, just a enough to create edge. Have my breakfast which is more relaxed than the mid week one but fundamentally the same, I leave the dirty sexy breakfast for a Sunday. While eating plan all the semi-productive things I would like to accomplish for the day before leaving for the supermarket, ticking that off the list but being exhausted enough upon return that the list get scrumpled up and thrown in the fire which I made to sit in front of feeling like a wild man as the football results come in. Secretly I’ve quite enjoyed this lockdown, mainly because I’ve not really been locked down I imagine, but there are certain old habits and routines I miss. I enjoyed those semi-busy Saturdays. I long for the return of the football. And I’m currently not in the same house as the fireplace unfortunately. If that all sounds hard then don’t even get me started on the pleasures of a Sunday morning drinking coffee and reading the newspapers as my dog sits beside me and I’m surrounded by countryside. It’s pointless longing for things we cannot have but it’s good to be able to see the things we really value when they’re not there. I quite fancy a pint as well. Don’t give a shit about much us though. Although a holiday would be nice.

I miss my dog. She lives with may parents these days which is good for her because they live in the countryside and it forces them to go on walks everyday. People don’t appreciate the value of pets I don’t think. I can’t see her at the moment though because while I deliver food to my parents, I don’t let her see me because I won’t be staying and she won’t understand why I’m leaving so quickly after coming back. Poor girl. Poor me too. There are going to be some parties when this is all done. It’ll be a while until the pubs are open I reckon and people will be warned off getting together too much too soon but lets be honest, folk are going to go wild. We’re like school children at the best of times let alone when we’ve been stuck inside, away from everyone, sober and being healthy for what must feel like an eternity. I can’t wait for the outcry from the media, front pages of people having fun. Probably the same papers which will be a week earlier pushing for the end of restrictions. Theres nothing like a short memory.

I’m tired today. I was woken up early and now I need to go to work. I’m attempting to write this early now instead of tonight when I get in. It’s strange, sometimes late at night I get my best ideas. Maybe I should give up on being a morning person and accept life as a night owl. They usually seem happy. A little white and sickly maybe, but happy enough. But not tonight, this is certainly not going to be an old Saturday night. When I’m tucked up in my bed before midnight I guarantee there’ll be no nostalgia from me. I love you all. I’ll see you tomorrow. Fresh, awake, invigorated, just like an awful morning person should be.

Coronavirus Shopping News

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Go on, admit it, who panicked back there for a little? Buy too much toilet roll did you? How about all those bags of porridge oats you heard were nutritious and would last a long time? What on earth are you going to do with all those tins of kidney beans, you don’t even like kidney beans. How did that baking bread mission go, bored of the effort yet? It’s great being able to take the moral high ground and call people out for being pricks.

I saw something online earlier that some councillor in Derby had posted showing bins full of food people had dumped because they had bought too much and it had good bad. Loaves of bread, chicken, vegetables, that type of thing. There was what appeared to be a carefully placed bunch of bananas at the top of one pile though yet the bananas looked fresh, not a speck of aged brown on them, eerily similar to the standard I bought earlier today actually. The skeptical monster in me went into overdrive, my bullshitometre when wild with excitement as I realised the whole thing stunk of set up. The game given away by someone trying just too hard to make the food waste look unjustifiable. I don’t care what you say, nobody throws away a fresh bunch of bananas.

I must confess that in all the panic I did buy two things in bulk, three actually if you count that I now have two kilos of peanut butter and one of cashew nut butter. I must stress though that I eat that stuff normally, and found it strange that in all the panic with empty shelves everywhere, there were loads of tubs of inexpensive pure peanut butters which are a great source of protein and fats. How many times, you can’t live off toilet roll and tinned tomatoes. Actually four things if you count the three tins of sardines I bought thinking it was mackerel, three tins which might find themselves donated to a food bank it’s worth adding.

I bought about three months supply of multivitamins, vitamin c and probiotics just incase it does all go tits up and I’m living on stale bread and water for a bit, also to keep me healthy with virus’ going around of course. I bought thirty kilograms of dog food for my little darling too. People didn’t seem to mention pets in all of this chaos but what happens if the food supply dries up and we run out of pet food, do we start giving them people food when we’re hungry ourselves? Well to avoid that conundrum I now have a back up of three to four months worth of food for her. I may not have rushed out for myself but at least my dog won’t go hungry. It’s amazing the lengths we’ll go to when we find someone or something to love.

But the madness seems to have calmed. The shelves are full and now people only look suspiciously at each other looking for signs of potential illness. I saw a great moment in the queue for the check out though when a woman reminded the couple behind her that they should be keeping a distance of two metres. The man just suggested she simply move forward to create it oblivious to the fact that she would then be less than the two metres from whoever was in front of her. People are a constant source of entertainment. I bet she got about two days worth of excitement from retelling that story.

Death’s Eternal March

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I was thinking today about death. It is one of those things I find myself contemplating. I have heard it said that we start reflecting on death more often when our own is drawing in but I doubt the validity of that on numerous levels, especially because it would suggest everything is already written and I’m not quite willing to accept that yet. I don’t worry about death, the idea of it coming for me is not necessarily something to fear. Of course the manner of ones death needs to be taken into consideration and despite the bravado; when death feels a long way away, we never know how we will react, if we have the time to react. In regards my own, I worry more about how it would affect others, I can imagine it would destroy my parents for example. Equally my only fear of death is that of my family and the reality that I will one day have to deal with that terrifies me. To know my dog, who is five now, has perhaps ten years to live is also a scary realisation.

It is this knowledge that the life of other’s is finite that helps me to understand the whole phenomena in a way that my own potential death doesn’t. I have already experienced the death of my grandparents, as well as the trauma of losing my childhood dog, but parents are another issue and I’ve invested such an emotional bond with my dog now that I don’t know how I would deal with the loss of her either. It is scary. It also makes you realise how temporary everything is. We’re all going to die one day. That is the only certainly in life we face and it’s the one thing that can give our own lives a true sense of value.

If you’ve ever been back somewhere that you had an intense and memorable experience; let’s say a place you worked, lived or travelled through, if this has happened a few times you start to notice the only commonality is that it’s not the place you remembered anymore. The faces are different, the energy has changed and it is not the same place, other people are now experiencing their own version, as will others after them. We can’t long for the return of moments from our past because they don’t exist anymore. Just like events in time, life is transient, it is an event, it is impermanent.

Your grandparents were your age once, they experienced what you experienced, they felt the same intense emotions and sensations and now it’s you turn and soon it’ll be someone else’s. It is undeniable that there is a deep sadness to this but there shouldn’t be and this is what I am trying to get beyond because supposedly it is beautiful too. Of course understanding how temporary life is allows you to enjoy it and embrace what comes, it helps us lead a full life. The knowledge of the inevitable though makes it feel pointless, if we’re going to die one day then what is the point. The nihilists recognised this, Camus did too and called it absurdism.

Like deaths sadness when felt deep down though, this feeling of pointlessness is surely something to be overcome. The ever present knowledge of death may be what makes the human condition but so does our innate ability to overcome adversity. While death is one thing we cannot overcome, the feeling of life’s intrinsic pointlessness is one we can. Death need not be sad, we can understand this end point, it’s getting there that seems the impossible part. Let’s just hope we have the time to do so but really does it matter one way or another if we don’t.

Inanimate Anger Destructed

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Has anyone every banged their leg on a table and got angry with the table? How about when constructing some IKEA furniture and getting pissed off because what you’re experiencing is not what the instructions suggest you should be? How about installing something on a computer and the procedure not proceeding as simply and immediately as you assumed it would? What is it that frustrates us about inanimate objects? Computers possibly less inanimate that tables, but the idea that something that cannot think for itself and just exists angers us is an interesting one. What is it that enrages us so much and why is it that animate objects like people or animals do not illicit such angry responses from accidental actions that may do mild harm or inconvenience despite the fact they’re to varying degrees conscious of their actions.

Perhaps we instinctively don’t want to do harm to living creatures because we recognise the life within them and the suffering our anger will bring. That may be true for some but certainly isn’t true for others. There are far too many examples of people taking our their anger on either their partners or pets for example. Maybe we know an inanimate object cannot fight back although it would be worth referencing partners and pets again here. Also I’m sure there are plenty of videos online of doors doing exactly that as they swing back and hit the aggressor in the face. What it may be then is an unconscious frustration with ourselves and our inability to not walk into tables, build confusing furniture or download software.

Anger is a funny thing when you break it down. That angry driver shouting at you because of some mild traffic faux pas you just committed may appear to be angry at you but there’s a good chance his real anger is linked to something else. The same when partners get annoyed at you for some little thing you’ve done and appear unreasonable with it, there’s a good chance something else is bothering them, be it with you or something else entirely unconnected in their life. With inanimate objects we have nobody to justify the error in the moment with as we’re the only one involved. We can lay blame in the direction of nobody except ourselves and this is very hard to accept, especially when usually everyone else is responsible for whatever it is that makes life an angry one.

We’re simply frustrated with ourselves then. Frustrated we cannot avoid IKEA or their tables. Frustrated then that we cannot do better or are not better at whatever it is that is enraging us so much. Why not use this frustration to get better, become an accomplished furniture constructor or be someone capable of not walking into the furniture once constructed. Perhaps then it’s about using this emotional response in a productive way and not allowing it to hold us back. A life constructed as opposed to one destructed.

Bureaucracy

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A bureaucratic nightmare is a phrase that you may not have said yourself but will have certainly heard said by someone else in a usually less than positive moment. Bureaucracy is one of those things that we all just love to hate. We spend three days filling out a one hundred page form to apply for a foot test or a visa to a foreign land, and bemoan the complete and utter waste of our time. At least you can enter those foreign lands I hear someone saying. Anyway when four months later we receive back a notification that we forgot to fill in Section 17 Subsection P which can be found by following the link printed at the bottom of the last page and will now have to pay a fine of four hundred and forty-nine pounds or be banned from ever filling out forms again, we forget about the waste of time, rejoice and decide now is the moment to finally tear down the state. We’ve all been there.

I’m going to Ireland for Christmas, how lovely. The dog will be coming along and it appears that despite Ireland being rabies free, she needs an up to date rabies jab if she wants to come with us. I can confirm she wants to go. Fair enough I hear you say. What I don’t understand is why she needs these things. I can understand requiring them coming from mainland Europe as this is an island and it is about keeping various diseases out, such as rabies in this case. However I don’t need any pet documentation to go to Northern Ireland, which while still being part of the UK is also coincidentally still part of the island of Ireland. I suspect very few people within the island of Ireland give much of a shit about taking their pet passports, or even getting one if they’re going back and forth over the border so what really is the point.

It makes zero logical and practical sense as it can be circumvented so easily which means it must be down to some political bureaucratic nonsense. This will be some EU law or regulation cooperative states abide by and I dare say this could be an easy moment to rant about the EU if I was that way inclined. That though would miss the point, this is more symptomatic of State, governance and institutional power. Regulations protect and eat away at liberties in different often polarised ways but we’re dealing here with the ultimate trip – time and money, and what they mean for power – bureaucracies most honoured of friends.

Death

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Last night I awoke at about four and was unable to sleep again. Today I’m a bit of a grumpy bastard. I just watched a video of a koala that was badly burnt in the bushfires that are still raging in Australia. It had burns all over it’s body and was screaming in pain, blood on the towel, no fur left. I feel like crying. I’m not normally someone who cries and I don’t say that in a proud way as it would probably be good for me if I did. They had to put the little fella down today because his burns were too bad. This is heartbreaking. Think with all the fires this year that raged through the Amazon, Africa, Siberia and currently Australia how many millions of animals have died. In a way this one little koala is more upsetting because we can relate to it. We can see his pain, we can hear his cries. The rest are nothing more than a number, and numbers don’t really mean anything.

Is it an issue of compassion or empathy. As a species do we lack this ability to connect with animals, and that includes humans by the way. There are numerous arguments that we have become desensitised to suffering and death but I’m not sure how true that is. Computer games and films do display graphic scenes but they’re not real and there is no great clamour to watch actual execution or snuff videos. There is no way to know how people dealt with death in the past but it was more common then, for humans at least. That made it a very real part of peoples lives, and this is something we don’t have anymore, not in the west anyway. I still continue to eat meat but less and it’s starting to feel more and more like a weird thing to do. I love my dog, I raised her from a two month old puppy and feel a connection to her in a way that I don’t have with any other creature, not more or less but it’s unique. When I see the koala suffering, I think of her and it’s that relating which is what connects us. Have you ever tried looking properly into someones eyes, they’re the gateway to their consciousness, nobody can tell me other animals don’t have that. We can put ourselves compassionately in the shoes of another human but with an animal whose consciousness we can’t comprehend we need to find other ways to relate.

When I carve a roast chicken sometimes I think it looks like my dog. I ignore the thoughts but it freaks me out none the less. I don’t want to eat chicken anymore. Many people the world over have pets and as I’ve never expressed this reaction to chicken before I’m unsure if others have it too. How do they disconnect and detach themselves from the fact they’re carving an animal when they have another one sitting curled up sleeping in the corner that they love so much. Is it hypocritical, more behaving unconsciously I imagine. Perhaps people just don’t think like that, they just carve the chicken and see it for the chicken, not what it represents. It does represent something though, it represents existence. Until we start to understand this all it does is put in jeopardy all existence, ourselves included.