Until Tomorrow

Staring at a blank screen. The modern day blank paper. Think of something, do it now. Be creative, write some words worth repeating. Yet nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

Well always something but it can feel like nothing. It’s times like these you remember to just start saying something, anything. Less than three weeks left. How will I force myself when I don’t have to. That is the real discipline. But I have an idea. Ideas never unfold as supposed to though. I’m curious to know how it’ll feel not to write. After one year of doing this everyday no matter what. How do you then experience not doing it. I might actually miss this little blog.

What to replace it with though. Likely nothing I’ll force upon others in the short term at least but hopefully something creative in another respect. It was discussed, the importance of creativity with a friend a few weeks ago. To say it is important over simplifies an understanding of creativity. But to go down that route in this moment will only result in me being both ridiculous and pretentious. Let’s just say it brings something to life, creativity in any form. it’s not just painting a picture or writing some words, it anything, it’s life.

Bellend.

That’ll do. I have heartburn. I wasn’t very creative with my dinner tonight and ate yesterdays lentils and sausage mixed with some pasta. My burps taste of sausage but I think it’s the day old lentils that have done it. I have a feeling day old lentils do this type of thing. Ah feelings. I quite fancy a beer. I think I’m just thirsty. I would love to say I don’t add salt to my food but certainly that sausage would have been packed full. Sausages are so disgusting yet we always go back. That’s because they’re also really tasty. Or they can be. This one was.

A Cretan rustic sausage to be precise. I liked Crete. I would like to go back. I was tempted this winter actually. Seems like a strange time to be moving places though. The world is shutting down and I’m doggedly fighting what is before my eyes. Why do we do this. Why can acceptance be so difficult. Too many options I always say. Most likely fear of something not immediately obvious. Back to Scotland instead though and what feels like the epicentre of everything viral. It isn’t but seemingly not far off. To leave a reasonably relaxed, warm Greece for a dark, cold inevitable lockdown in Scotland. We make the strangest of choices. They are neither right nor wrong because there is not such thing. Simply a series of events we compare against each other based upon a set of ideas formed from something long forgotten. And yet we choose value and we choose our response to this choice. One day we shall overcome. That’s likely what death beds are for though. Avoiding life’s only real obsession may be wise for now.

I shall end on this.

For now. And come back tomorrow.

A Day Off

I had one of those days today. In a good way. I know that sentence has connotations but I actually enjoyed myself. Last night I discovered a trip I had half planned wasn’t going to happen. I had been speaking with someone about helping them sail from Greece to the Canary Islands but he changed his route and is already in Italy. It’s not the end of the world but I had invested a certain amount of energy in this as something to do and it was disappointing for it not to happen. In this day and age of Covid-19, being able to do many things is a bit of a struggle so I was pretty pleased to have found myself on such an interesting trip to a place I had yet to visit.

One thing that really excited me was that I planned on writing these and having them revolve around the sailing trip. I’m not exactly sure how but I know when I do eventually cross the Atlantic at some point I would like to keep a log of sorts on the psychological affects of being at sea for so long. That is a rough idea and I doubt it would be exactly like that as I go off on a tangent or find myself with so little to talk about I end up writing a whole piece on a game of cards or a dolphin. That would be a psychological thing I guess but still, sailing across an ocean is from what I hear a far less exciting thing than people imagine it would be. From here to Spain could have been a test run on that to a degree but alas.

Today then I woke up and decided it would be a good day to have a holiday. I did no boat work and went for a drive. I stopped, I drove, I got a coffee, I got a beer, I swam a little, I sat by the sea. I basically enjoyed myself. Despite being in Greece for a month I have been on slight work mode most of the time and I realised today I need to know when to just have a complete day off. It also means when I have days on I need to be a little more disciplined and efficient as allowing jobs to just drag on is enough to make anyone mad.

What next then. Well I don’t really know. I’m not sure I’m ready to step away from the beach and the sun but it’s seemingly the worst time ever to be travelling around, it’s also probably the worst time ever to be in the UK though so that doesn’t help. Come January I may need to start saving my visa days in the EU too so it looks like I may just have to return to the UK. I know nobody has any sympathy for me and I don’t blame you. We all find things to be frustrated about but in truth I know I’ll just do something else. It’s not what you’re doing but whether you’re making the most out of what you’re doing I guess. I’m sure there’s some wisdom in there somewhere.

A Covid Ramble

Well it appears with winter on the horizon the world is settling for a miserable one. If we thought enduring lockdown while Britain basked in what was likely the warmest April and May on record was hard just wait until we hit January and the recently lifted Christmas restrictions are firmly smashed back into place. Thankfully I’m not in the UK now, in Greece you wouldn’t even imagine there was a virus, not where I am anyway. They’re handling it the most Greek way possible and just getting on with things. Saying that despite my ridiculously ignorant attempt at national stereotypes when they did have a lockdown it was a hard one apparently. It allowed them to open up for the summer and despite a few flair ups wherever the Brits like to holiday, the country has remained reasonably virus free. Last weekend in Thessaloniki the guy working in the hostel told me Thessaloniki had about five cases a day and Athens had two hundred. I think I may have mentioned that at the time but looking at the rest of the rates around Europe, well into the thousands, that is quite remarkable.

In that knowledge leaving this country, which I’m likely to do, seems a little silly. It’s like seeing prison and deciding you would like to go spend some time there. I never fully experienced lockdown the last time because I was working delivering bread and being clapped every Thursday like a hero. This time I would be going full power and disappearing for a couple of months. At least I may find the time to read those books I had for so long complained I was too busy for. Sounds quite exciting. I might study something too. There is so much to study. Look at me getting all excited about something everyone else is dreading. In truth I am too I’m just not sure what I’ll be experiencing enough to dread it.

I can’t wait to read the literature that people put out in a few years about this time. There will likely by films or television series in 2021. Perhaps the aftermath will be more of an interesting topic. Stories set during lockdown would likely focus on the psychological elements of the experience, but events after would likely be either on human versions of flowers opening up in Spring or will be about system change as Brexit flounders, the economy crashes and people overthrow the government and create peoples assemblies.

Either that or I’ll just be gloating about how I finally put in that application for Irish citizenship. Twelve to eighteen months and then probably another one or two for me to get off my arse and apply for the passport. That’ll be it. I give up on the Scots for being the only country in history suffering from Stockholm Syndrome bad enough to reject independence and the Brits for being a typical version of a people incapable of accepting their glorious history of domination and empire is now nothing but an illusion. If it were ever anything else. Fuck it the Irish seem like they’re having fun, I’ll go see what they have to say for themselves. Apparently too Covid rates below the border in the Republic are a fraction of those in the British controlled North. Well that’s telling. Handling it well are you Boris. I hope history is harsh on you.

An Ideological Art Attack

Starline Social Club in Oakland has gone up for sale. I have never been to this venue, and likely won’t ever set foot in Oakland let alone this club. I only know it is up for sale because it’s sale was shared by a friend of mine on Facebook. Why this is worth mentioning is because it is yet another venue in the long list of such places that have already closed and others that will. Pubs are struggling but can invariably stay open. Numerous clubs, live music venues, theatres to name but a few examples are likely to go bust if this continues much longer. People’s safety must come first of course and a solution without some kind of financial assistance is far from clear. What the arts do need though is some kind of support.

Rishi Sunak the British Chancellor recently suggested that artists and musicians who couldn’t find work should retrain. There wasn’t any suggestion that they should be supported through this crisis, they should simply become something else. Here he is below doing his best impression of Will from The Inbetweeners.

He may as well have just uttered the ‘get a real job’ statement because clearly he was thinking it. Who needs artists when they can design images for adverts or musicians when they can be creating songs for adverts or playwrights when they could be writing scripts for adverts. How is capitalism going to function successfully if people refuse to exploit others.

More concerning is how this is playing out in the culture wars. I read recently that while the right won the economic war, the left won the culture wars but clearly both are still being doggedly fought. It is telling though that if you were going on probable likelihoods, the arts would predominantly be a theatre for left wing ideals. Are we seeing right wing governments in both Britain and the US intentionally allowing the music and arts scenes to go bust. Is this lack of support and funding simply an ideological attack? It doesn’t need too much of an imagination to make that leap. How better to attack your opponents by watching them struggle, hindering their chances of attacking you in the future.

There is one thing they seem to miss though. You can lose clubs, theatres and art venues but people will always be able to find a way to express themselves. If you try to take away their means of doing so they will simply come up with other ways. They are creative, they will be creative. And most importantly by attacking this scene they are simply entrenching anti-Conservative or anti-right wing capitalist ideals for at least another generation. People don’t forget. If pain brings out the creative, the grassroot streets are going to become a scene of colour before too long.

To Re-Take The Debate

The Coronavirus Act will likely be renewed this week. It will mark six months since it was initially pushed through. It was supposed to last for two years but this was reduced to six months, I can’t remember why exactly, some kind of outcry over the obvious I suspect. The current discussion is whether the act itself should require a debate and Parliamentary approval before it is renewed. The Government unsurprisingly says this is not necessary and is simply delaying something of total urgency while nearly everyone else seems to think that something which gives quite alarming powers to the police and which limits our abilities to think and act for ourselves should actually be talked about a little. Even with the Tory rebellions expected it will still likely pass once more.

What I’m confused by slightly is how any discussion of civil liberties is unfolding. For the last six months the people who have been fighting the idea of being told what to do, be that movement, the wearing of masks, types of interactions, closing of businesses, are the right wing. The libertarian right wing to be precise but still they have managed to get the attention of many others on that spectrum of society. The left wing though, and that includes left wing libertarians, are no where to be seen. Any discussion of lockdowns and suspicions around this virus have been incredibly one sided, from a political spectrum at least. While the reasons may differ surely there are enough on the left concerned with attacks on our civil liberties.

It could simply be the method of approach. Undeniably there have been plenty of articles on more left wing websites about the dangers of present government policy. It surely can’t just be anyone on the left and in the centre believes this is a very real virus and we all need to adopt these measures to combat it, and that on the right people don’t believe it’s true and are willing to go to great lengths to argue it. I admit I am grouping an awful lot of people in what seems like three rather large and cumbersome boxes, but it makes understanding or explaining it from a political perspective far more straightforward.

It may be a capitalist economic thing pushing on the libertarians. Why the left are so health conscious though confuses me, are they that learned and educated. Ultimately it just appears even this debate has become polarised and not just in the forced clumsy way I have attempted here. Without endangering anyone or being irresponsible, it may just be time to retake the debate. Change the narrative slightly. We can question the motives of government and not give a shit about the economy reopening. That’s an angle I could get behind. I don’t want to go out onto the street with thousands of others to protest but it can’t be a bad idea to try to control or at least influence the debate as it’ll go on regardless.

On The Road Again

“See it. Say it. Sorted” says a message on the loud speaker after telling passengers to report anything suspicious. Don’t get me wrong there have been situations involving public transport in the past but the constant need to remind people of the fear they should be in, the potential that there could always be something to look out for, makes me far uneasier than any possible – I’m assuming terrorist – danger does.

I just missed my mouth slightly and spilt beer on my face mask. We can add that to the drawbacks list. I’ve never quite understood why when drinking alcohol is illegal in outdoor public places, on buses, even as a passenger in cars apparently; it is perfectly fine to drink on a train. I can only assume it has something to do with them being able to sell alcohol themselves and it being impossible to regulate train beer from carry on beer. Maybe it’s just a throwback to dining carts. I’m not complaining. Few countries in the world seem to allow such things and I see it as a genuine positive of what is already probably my favourite form of transport. I’ll take a bus if I have to, I’ll avoid the train if it’s too expensive and I’ll take the plane if it makes more practical sense but there’s still something I enjoy about a train that I’m yet to put my finger on entirely. Comfortable, fast, easy, goes through scenic areas. Maybe I should go on one of those long train journeys like the Trans-Siberian or across America, the Andes, Australia and anywhere else that begins with ‘A’.

Despite spending the last few months delivering bread and working in a bakery and pizza shop I seem a little more nervous about this virus though. The little Northumberland seaside village and the Scottish countryside of my parents feels like a little bubble I’ve stepped out of. I’ve gone south where bad things happen. I’m now in the real world. A world with dangers.

I can still only smell beer. This is going to make me paranoid. Is it me, do I stink of beer or is it simply a drop on my mask leading to a false reading. I’m not sure if I can spend the next twelve hours breathing beer fumes.

I’m on the move again then. Off to Greece. I’ve mentioned it previously but I doubt anyone reads every post every day so this is me informing you all I’m off to Greece. I had a short break in Dublin over Christmas but it does feel like I’ve not been abroad for a year now. This virus really has made us change our way of existing. I’m a little nervous actually and I’m curious how I’ll feel about it. I have a habit of wishing for the sedentary life when I travel a little too much and the travelling life when I’m in one spot for too long. Considering it has been a long time since Christmas and an even longer time since my last adventure, the wishing became a slight insanity.

It can be hard to leave though. We become comfortable and after all these years I do wonder if maybe I am getting a little old for all this. Ten years ago I did meet people in their thirties just starting out so perhaps age has little to do with it. We just experience things in a different way. I do find it harder to leave my parents each time though, especially now in this present virus related fear period. I don’t give a shit about potentially suspicious packages, I give a shit about my loved ones coming into contact with a deadly virus. Leaving them at the train station questioning whether it will be the last time I’ll see them but knowing I have to leave regardless. The truth is, life goes on. The whole world ground to a halt for a few months once already and now we just have to get on with it. It is easy to blame the economy and capitalism but it’s human nature. We can’t stand still. Sometimes it’s not always easy though.

The Law Breaker Part Two

If only I was in a position to go out and party this weekend I know I would be tempted. With new laws coming into force on Monday on there being no more than six people in one group at the same time, the media are reporting a police union’s fear that those reckless and irresponsible young people previously deemed wholly responsible for the spread of the virus, might take advantage of one last weekend of relative freedom. With the threat of all fun being put on hold until the spring can people really be forgiven. I know I would. And if there is such a fear of this happening then why have this new law start on Monday, why not Friday. Let’s all blame bureaucracy of course, but who’s willing to put a little cash on the Daily Mail, Daily Express and Daily Telegraph writing a piece on these devilish party folk and referencing this weekend if the government continue to fuck up at every opportunity and numbers increase. Scapegoat anyone? Ready made excuse. They’ll probably find a way to blame these revellers on the fact people had to drive hundreds of miles for a test. Or that Matt Hancock is still bizarrely in a position of power despite, well, everything he has done for the last six months. Saying that Boris, Dom and Mikey Gove are still the bouncing around full of beans. What’s that phrase about bad smells?

On a law breaking note, apparently Boris’s plans to avoid anymore of the “miserable squabbling” over Brexit, in other words do as he says or he’ll continue to squabble. He only plans on breaking international law in a “specific and limited way” as opposed to randomly and completely which presumably would be the bad way. The rumour is that the rebels in his party seem to be inconveniently perturbed by their own party damaging the integrity of the UK by “protecting the integrity of the UK” as Gove called it. It appears not even a stonking majority will allow this lot to completely do as they feel and in total disregard for the recognised ways of law abiding. The miserable squabbling appears to be returning as the rest of the country rejoices that not everything is going as planned. Is this the first step in a slight rebellion against a still perplexing government. The government has already had to make numerous u-turns since coming to power. If they are seen to be defeated by their own MPs then it quite significantly makes it clear to those in the party who don’t enjoy seeing their leader behaving in a less than legal and democratic way as being capable of crumbling. It may take time but once something can be seen as possible it inevitably becomes real. Time to get that deck chair out and prepare for the show.

The Endless Pandemic

What on earth is going on with this virus? As expected the winter months will bring an increase in illness, which is normal, but does that also mean there will be an increase in virus numbers too. Earlier in the week the government decided to ban gatherings of more than six unless you had a card reader and the necessary funds available, the Scottish government followed suit a few days later. Today apparently the ‘R’ number is now back above one. This ultimately means we’re going in the wrong direction and they’ve added over a million Brummies to the local lockdown list to prove it. At what point do all the local lockdowns just merge into one and we admit we’re back where we were in April. Apparently football fans may still be allowed back into stadiums in October though, with pubs open they’ll at least be allowed a couple of pints before they go in. When will they just admit they’re slowly letting the virus move through the populace and creating this herd immunity they were at least honest about back in the Spring.

Bringing back the spirit of ‘The Blitz’ is a cringe worthy act and one I poured scorn on as the government and the media did their best to drum up some national unity and sentimentality when they did. Today though when I had a moment of realisation and despair that this was not over any time soon it did make my mind wander to past wars such as the Second World War. This pandemic has been around and affected our daily life now for about eight months, I despaired when I thought it might hang around long enough to hit the year mark. The mental resilience people must have faced to endure six years of hardship and the unknown. Of course they adapted and just got on with it but it is never as simple as that. A pandemic is fearing the unknown but more it’s an unseen and invisible enemy, it could be lurking anywhere. I admit generally I just get on with my day as normally as possible but it is still there in the mind, and societies daily norms are clearly all over the place still. It’s only been eight months and it feels endless. Maybe we are soft, I wonder what our grandparents would have done. Adapt or lose. Just get on with it in the meantime. What else is there.

The Law Enforcing Law Breakers

The British Government are on fire today. We have new Covid-19 laws, in particular one which bans more than six people being together as a group. There are some credible arguments for this but seeing as they’re not applying it to work, shops, sports and a few other financially driven things, it does suggest that while they are concerned with peoples health, they’re more concerned about money. Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of the long term damage done to people’s mental and physical health by shutting down the economy. Restructuring the economy so it was perhaps a little more sustainable and less capitalistic would probably help a lot more in the long term and this is the ideal opportunity but that’s never going to happen at present.

In regards to large changes, I would be curious of the affect of this new law on protests. As a thick line has been drawn on anything that doesn’t make money or involves the arts, surely protesting is now also illegal. After last weeks revealing outrage and ludicrous free speech outcry over Extinction Rebellion’s blockade of certain media outlets known for their rather unscrupulous approach to reporting, as well as their less than compassionate views on poor people and those in need, what would that mean for similar such actions. How do you then define a group? What if a large enough amount of individuals just happened to come together in one spot independently of each other. Anyway, depending on how long this new law is in place, there may be a lot of legal unknowns ahead.

Talking of breaking the law, while our Government is ready to come down hard on us for visiting grandma and taking too many of the children, they’re more than willing to break international law when it suits them. It appears one of the main pillars of their argument on why they should have been reelected may not be so strong after all. Having rushed through the Withdrawal Agreement with the EU just so they could say they had one in place for the election, they have decided to go back on one of the main points of agreement. Apparently their will be no customs checks between Northern Ireland and the British mainland as had been agreed so as to prevent a hard border with the south. This point was critical in getting the Republic of Ireland to agree to the deal because of legitimate fears over it’s affect on the peace process and the Good Friday Agreement.

It’s all part of the governments attempts at pushing through the Internal Markets Bill, which the Scottish and Welsh governments also view as a power grab and one which directly challenges elements of their respective devolution’s. One Welsh Conservative MP has already resigned over the issue. They knew they would never be able to come to an agreement with the EU before the election so they just agreed to anything for the sake of reelection. Now they will become law breakers on the very day they demand real sacrifices from their own people under threat of the law. If one day could ever be used to define this government it would be this one. I’m sure it’s not the first time I’ve thought that though. This is only going to get uglier. Watch this space.

The Evil Youth Rise Again

Will somebody please think of the children” said a fictional cartoon character exposing my age. They’re at it again but not with such positive intentions. We could focus on the school children who seem to be getting forced back to school. Fear from some as their children go back, ready to not just bring their homework back with them and joy from others ready for a little peace and quiet once more. As usual the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. That’s assuming there is a middle between those two ideas of course. The latest youth that people seem to be thinking about though are not necessarily the kids but those a bit older than them. Today and yesterday it appears the stories started to be pushed by the media that the youth in society are not the most likely to spread the virus. The most likely means they’re ultimately responsible now for every future death and can be used as a scapegoat by anyone from old people on Facebook groups to government ministers attempting to distract from their own ineptitude.

It is easy for the general populace to find someone else to blame. If you’re old you can blame the young and if you’re young you can blame the old. It allows you not to feel responsible for the spread of something that not one particular demographic in society can be blamed for. You may have flash points like in a gym, a bar or a school, but that doesn’t make all eighteen to twenty-five year old’s irresponsible and responsible. This is just another moment in the passing the blame on game of distraction. But then I am just as responsible as anyone else for spreading this virus, I am careful in someways and less so in others, just like everyone, or most people at least. Saying that what I really want to do, and I’m trying to do it without just blaming everyone else while criticising someone for blaming someone else; is blame the government for their ineptitude and constant inability to lead us through what probably is a no win situation, and a mainstream media whipping up fear with one hand and a calming hand over an inept government with the other.

What I dislike is not our inability to do the right thing. It is difficult if not impossible to be doing the right thing during a moment in which all advice is changing daily and all we’re doing is witnessing scientific research in real time. There are no conclusive answers when everything is at the hypothesis stage. What is wrong is how we are using this to our benefits. I include myself because I have used it as a stick to bash a corrupt government. The government though have used it to strengthen their own position and sell off even more of the NHS, give contracts to their mates and threaten the implementation of draconian laws. Opposition parties eventually made it political but in an equally corrupt way and the mainstream media have been scaring and misleading us all just to sell more papers and to continue propping up their people in power. And now it’s the young who are to blame. We’ve found a new group to vilify. Again. A new group to use as the sleight of hand distraction. It’s amazing what people will allow themselves to do in the name of self-interest.