Tag: narrative

The Wrong Herd

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

There are times we must question whether we are right. Nobody is ever one hundred percent right of course but let’s say more right than wrong. Someone who goes through life always believing themselves to be right in everything may not end up with many friends but could likely have successes in other respects. If someone goes through life always believing themselves wrong, would it be the opposite outcome? Probably unlikely. It must be important to be aware that we may just be wrong though. Is that humility? Maybe self-awareness?

I was thinking of discussing something in the news. One of those fallback pieces in which I decide to deride some politicians for their ineptitude, or an evolution in something on a geopolitical level that arouses some dissatisfaction within me. Usually a complaint of some sort. We’re less likely to be drawn to stories that have a positive and happy narrative remember. Maybe there’s something in that we could learn from. We’re drawn to stories of misery while living lives of misery. Like creates like as they say. Perhaps I should do a new ten day challenge and only write about happy positive things. I’ll probably pass on that one.

Usually the political stories I’m drawn to involve ones bashing the current government in the UK or the US, and commonly the opposition to both governments too. As you can imagine I’m not full of much belief in the political legitimacies of these two countries. Other people though must be. I say must be because not only did enough people vote in the two buffoons holding power but it also appears enough people want to vote in the establishment representatives who will most likely replace them at the next opportunity. When we see a large group of other people doing things we’re inclined to believe they may just be right and we may just be wrong. Herd mentally amongst many other names. It is easy to dismiss these people voting for these two sides as adherents of such a mental state but it’s likely I’m just swayed by another herd that I want to be part of. It’s likely a much smaller herd and one that feeds certain things in my fearful sense of survival but it’s a herd none the less.

With all this then we must all admit we’re being played one way or another. This huge game of power is rattling away as different groups battle it out for moral superiority and likely financial gain one way or another. Money corrupts, power corrupts, everything seems to corrupt, especially morality. Perhaps we’re just a corrupt species and we need to accept it. Or maybe we just need to stop worrying about whatever wrongs are happening in the world and focus on life as it unfolds before us. One extreme to the other yet again. It’s just exhausting that these arseholes continually manage to win power. More so when they’re clearly morally bankrupt and doing a bad job. It’s even possible to imagine things like this could finally defeat me and I stop giving a shit about the world. Maybe just give a shit in a different way. A detached way perhaps, or one that doesn’t get caught up in the hyperbolic nature of power. Or even my own perceived role within all this power. There’s got to be an answer somewhere. I’m sure we’ll see it too when we can finally figure out what it is that has been in front of our eyes all this time.

Off With Their Heads

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I want to talk about how the narrative being pushed is of the NHS as a sick patient needing put on life support. Struggling on it’s last legs, like an exhausted charity it needs donations from the public, twenty odd million from some old fella who walked around his garden a few times for example. Civil society in action once more, people being leant on to save the day. It’s the corona version of climate change, the people making all the changes; recycle to save the planet but don’t dare look into the corporations doing all that polluting and the governments complicit in their poisonous behaviour. Once more we as a people are stepping up when required, it’s amazing really because it shows what we can do when we have to. It also highlights how little our governments are fulfilling their end of the social contract we signed with them when we chose to vote and place them in power. Are they not supposed to use our tax payments to fund the NHS? It isn’t as if there isn’t the money available, vanity projects like the HS2 rail line and arms deals like the Trident nuclear submarines make this abundantly clear. The government spent twenty one million on consultants and advisers trying to find ways to save thirty billion in cuts to vital public services, such as the NHS. Let’s just say Captain Tom’s money can at least cover that. If they have the money when they want then, it must be safe to say this chronic underfunding, nay criminal underfunding; can only have been intentional.

But I won’t talk about that. I won’t talk about the lack of PPE for nurses and doctors, about how it appears that the government are either incompetent, which is alarming, negligent, which is alarming or they are intentionally acting in a way that is contrary to their public protestations, which is slightly reassuring because it means that everything is at least normal, and normal is safe remember. But I won’t talk about that either.

It’s not about being defeatist, I just can’t be bothered because if I did it would probably just end up in a little rant and that seems pointless. Also I always imagine this must be obvious to everyone and they know already and are either outraged or ignoring personal narrative conflicting information. Considering the media are doing such a blatant support act of the current government that even Piers Morgan has become a hero of the disillusioned masses, I probably shouldn’t make too many assumptions. It is a shit show really and it’s a frustrating one. There’s something within us that wants and believes those who commit wrongs unto others are in one way or another punished for it. Yet politicians and those lobbying politicians seem to not only walk free, but walk off with a disproportionate share of the pie. That is why if anything we don’t live in a rational world. Or maybe we do, maybe it is irrational to imagine things may change for the better and the delusion can end. All is random then and each day just unfolds with everyone scrambling around hoping they see it out and wake up in the next. And if that feels real now, dear lord just imagine what that’ll feel like when the revolution comes and people start chopping off each others heads. I know who I’ll be going for though and it won’t be my neighbour.

Don’t Taste The Wasp Twice

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We as a species have an inbuilt response to new things, we fear them. There is a practical reason for that and it is rational; new is unknown and unknown could mean danger. As a species we have managed to survive, adapt and evolve to the point we’re at in our evolutionary cycle. I don’t doubt one reason for our success so far has been down to instinctively following that practical approach mentioned above. Is it instinctive though? When we are young children we try to touch or eat anything new, it appears we sense next to no danger in anything, yet as adults we have become cautious if not neurotically fearful. That would suggest we are taught to fear new and unknown things but then puppies and adult dogs mirror human growth fear patterns too. Perhaps puppies learn new can mean danger because sometimes they experience the pain of discovering new things, like the taste of a wasp, or a dogs parenting is just not something obvious to my untrained eyes. Can we then take that further and use it to explain why we are so weary of new sources of information, or even new information that may contradict our previously held beliefs.

I suppose it is probably quite a straightforward idea, we distrust new sources because they are unknown and we haven’t built up a relationship of trust with them. We reject new information because our current beliefs are known to us and with them we have so far survived to this point in life. With them we have safety and life, potentially this unknown new information may lead to danger and the taking away of either our safety or in the extreme our life. There is also the issue of narrative to take into consideration, what doesn’t fit our narrative we are likely to dismiss but I’ll not go down that avenue this time.

I was sent a link to a video on YouTube by a friend who has a differing set of ideals and beliefs about how best we should approach the world than I do. I rarely bother engaging him in discussion anymore because neither of us come close to seeing the others perspective and I always end it feeling exhausted and frustrated that I’ve wasted an evening arguing with a brick wall. When I received this video I assumed immediately it would relate to one of his points previously made, which it did, and in my mind I had already rejected it before even contemplating watching it. My initial response was to see it was a YouTube video and dismiss it as worthless. There are many useful videos on YouTube and I have taught myself how to do all sorts of things through them, but videos of a political or social nature are quite often just a pile of tosh. I had already rejected the point because of the source platform. I decided to watch it a little, not the full one hour because I have better things to do, and did some research on the speaker and his organisation. Seemingly they are of a different persuasion to me but I still watched and tried to listen to the message. After ten disagreeable minutes I gave up because I found him frustrating, it appears you can’t argue with a pre-recorded person. I do understand why angry people comment now but I still refuse to get involved in that game. Ultimately my point is that I like to think I gave the speaker the opportunity and I listened with a clear mind but it’s not easy when you already think the platform the information is on and the source of the information are unreliable and bullshit.

Absorbing new information is clearly an incredibly challenging task. We struggle to absorb anything that is new because it is unknown and potentially dangerous, and we struggle to accept anything contradictory to our present set of beliefs as it challenges what has so far kept us safe. The YouTube example above is an easy one to dismiss because the contents and the platform are like the Daily Star of video journalism but sometimes we get contradictory information from credible sources and this can be hard to accept and equally dismiss.

The more I delve into these things the more I’m starting to realise just how hard, if not impossible, it is being some kind of discerning, moral and decent person. Here I am, just like yesterday back to the fallible human. Is failure what makes us human, or perhaps the ability to recognise and improve on our past failures. It is okay to be fallible. It is unavoidable clearly, but is it only acceptable if and when we try and avoid repeat failure. Being conscious of our previous failures, accepting that they are inevitable and pushing on in the search of perfection, or at the very least an acceptable success. Don’t try and taste the wasp twice, it’s all so simple now, if only I had realised that earlier.

Corona Krueger

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So we’re all going to die from the flu. Well not quite but this appears to be the latest exciting thing for people to get themselves into. I woke up this morning feeling a bit ill and I had a sore throat, perhaps something happened in my dreams. I thought I may have been infected with the Coronavirus. I suspect there’s a good chance I haven’t but it’s interesting to see how hysterical fear has managed to grip even the most disbelieving and disinterested of us. I am not saying it isn’t real, I am not saying it isn’t dangerous. I have seen the points made about how more people have died this year from the flu than Corona and I have also seen stories saying how those figures don’t reveal the whole story. Seemingly only older people are at serious risk but then also there seems to have been plenty of younger ones dying from it. I don’t really worry about catching it myself but I do worry about my parents and that last part is a real fear not just paranoia.

There are plenty of conspiracy theories out there about it being an accidental release from China’s only biological chemical disease laboratory which just happens to be in Wuhan where it originated. It is very tempting to find some credibility in this slightly coincidental event, just as it was coincidental that Britain’s only laboratory of similar ilk that happened to produce Novichok just happened to be very close to Salisbury where the Russians supposedly used it on their traitorous spies. There was once a time when I got excited and caught up with these kinds of things but I don’t now. Although let’s be honest there is something totally suspect about what happened on 9/11 or 11/9 as we call it here. Many believe these things to be true and if you’re inclined to there will always be plenty of evidence to back it up but also there will be plenty of evidence the other way if you’re not. It doesn’t really matter to me and it’s pointless getting excited about theories like this as you will simply never know and it doesn’t change anything anyway. People will live and die regardless. They did a good piece on the radio this morning about the conspiracy theorists pushing claims and it was the kind of dismissal that people would laugh along with if they didn’t believe conspiracies and if they did would be able to use as part of the propaganda cover up.

There was also quite an amusing piece on the same radio program in which they had loads of people talking about hygiene and what they are now doing. It was a wonderful opportunity for people to confess to the usual lunacy of their hygienic hypochondria because they had finally found a safe space to come out in. They all seemingly felt the need to stress they’re not crazies suffering from bacteria phobia even though they usually carry around hand sanitiser and never touch banisters or escalators without it, god forbid a lock in a toilet. A long list of potential bacteria filled opportunities was bowled out with not a single one ever thinking there may be no point to their behaviour because clearly it’s impossible to escape germs. I’m not sure if any of them have ever heard of an immune system.

Clearly I think this is all hysterical and am liable to have a laissez faire attitude to events. I also believe it is very real and people are liable to catch it and suffer, die even, so my aim is not to belittle something deadly. Scotland has just had it’s first patient with the papers rubbing their metaphorical hands in gleeful delight at what’s to come. I know I won’t be happy when I get stuck in lockdown somewhere and try to ignore the little monster at the back of my mind saying it’s all just a rehearsal for when they announce martial law and the death camps. It’s so easy to be distrusting of power especially when it has only ever represented reactionary morality in the past. Apparently they’re trying to calm everyone for the sake of the stock markets, isn’t it wonderful when priorities are exposed by emergencies.

It’s times like this that I’m reminded of a lovely childhood rhyme that was once culturally relevant –


One, two Corona’s coming for you,
Three, four you better lock your door,
Five, six grab a crucifix…

God will save the day, she always does.

The Times They Are A Changing, Or Not

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I went for some afternoon pints today with my Dad. There’s something enjoyable about a few afternoon beers that has been lost on contemporary society, and me too I guess. We went to a little microbrewery pub in my local town. They have a few interesting little beers but no cider unfortunately, which is exactly what I had been after, apparently people don’t go for still cider this far north. There was one thing I noticed though and it’s something I’ve started noticing more and more often in recent times; the distinct lack of any younger generation in the pub. I am thirty-four years old now and I remember ten years ago the idea of an afternoon drinking session would be met with a solid and positive response. Even more so if you went to the pub in the evening you were guaranteed to find it beaming with youthful energy. I noticed recently when in what I could class as my local if I wanted and today the microbrewery in my local town that there are a distinct lack of people in their twenties. There was an awful lot of regulars in their forties and above but few of a younger generation. To counter that of course I was in an interesting pub in Edinburgh a couple of weekends ago and felt old whereas I never used to so perhaps it’s just the boring old man pubs and towns I’ve started to frequent.

There are many reasons why we are seeing this change though. Society has evolved enormously in the fifteen years since I started university. To begin with there is no doubt I was a student in what I can only describe as the peak binge drinking period…pound a pint nights…trebles for two pounds. I recently found out that those trebles bars I used to frequent were caught a few years ago mixing their spirits with white spirit, which both explains a lot and is slightly worrisome. A night out on tenner…two big bottles of cider before going out and then the remainder on entrance to the club. I could be nostalgic about it and say times have changed but it’s probably the same now I just don’t see it because thankfully I don’t go near that kind of world. I doubt though ten pounds would get you very far now either which is probably why people can’t drink in pubs, saying that we used to drink in the house a lot too, hence the two bottles of cider trick. I feel like I’m disproving myself as I write. Perhaps I should work these things out before I write them up, maybe the writing up is the working them out. Does this just mean I’ve got no idea what twenty year olds get up to these days? That is more likely, I also have no desire at all to know and don’t want that to change.

That is the point though, times may change but we definitely change and probably faster. The cliche may be the old man horrified by modern day society but I doubt the fundamentals are that much different. We see the society we live in, so if I am a little healthier and drink less, I see twenty year olds doing the same and imagine they’re also boring and clean these days. It’s all about perception then. Or not. It could just be that without any type of scientific data or research I can form any argument based upon the limited world I see. The narrative I don’t even know exists has already taken over before I even hit my first key. When did it stop just being a few simple afternoon pints down the pub with you Dad and your dog. Simpler times…said every old man always.

A Union of Secession

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I’m going to attempt to recreate the main points of a conversation I’ve just had with my Dad. For context he is both pro-Brexit and pro-Union. These ideas discussed have come up in the past but seemingly have taken a step further with recent events.

The Tory party in the UK won a stonking majority of some forty seats and in Scotland the SNP won an equally stonking forty-eight out of a possible fifty-nine seats. Both of these result can be and have been spun in numerous ways but arguably what it does do is give a mandate for Brexit and a mandate for a second referendum in Scotland on independence. It is hard to argue against either of those things when Brexit and Scottish independence were the main priority of both parts respectively. However as with everything in politics this is not as straightforward as it seems. We in the UK have a voting system called First Past The Post, which allows for people to win seats once they get a certain number of votes but which for numerous reasons too many to get into here, creates a voting system which arguably favours the larger parties, creates a two party system like we have in the the UK and in the US too and which often allows for a larger percentage of seats that percentage of the vote.

The point is that while this may have been a Brexit election the Remain supporting parties actually received more votes in total than the Brexit supporting parties yet received vastly fewer seats. The same can be said for Scotland which has so many tight marginal seats that can be won by less than one hundred votes, the SNP received a far fewer percentage of the vote than percentage of the seats, which also equated to fewer pro-independence votes than pro-union. The argument made by my Dad was that the SNP don’t actually have a mandate because were there to be another referendum they would lose it because of this share of the votes but it is also an argument which can be made back in regard Brexit.

Put simply; the unionists want to maintain one union while breaking up another while the separatists want to break up one union while also maintaining another. The unionists believe they have the mandate to break from the EU because they hold a resounding majority in the UK parliament but not break up the UK because the majority of those voting in Scotland voted for parties not pushing for independence, whereas the separatists want to break from the UK because they hold a majority of Scottish seats in parliament but maintain the connection with the EU because the majority of Scottish voters voted to remain. Confused? You should be.

Ultimately that is the more ridiculous nature of politics and power. We pick and choose what we want to see and believe depending on what fits our narrative. We have a belief, we see facts, numbers, ideas which support this belief and fervently repeat them even in the face of contradictory points we choose not to see. I don’t doubt I do this too and hope one day to develop the self-awareness to stop. It’s just both amusing and depressing to see both sides using the same argument against each other and being oblivious to the fact its exactly the same argument. And whats worse, this road of obliviousness appears to stretch from one horizon to the other. This madness has always been, the question is then, will it always be?

An Existential Nature

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First surmountable challenge…my laptop isn’t working. It is fixable which is why it’s also surmountable but in the meantime this is being written using a phone. Expect lots of error and a lack of flow, it’s good to get the excuses in early. The question then is whether that is the kind of person I am, someone who’s a waster full of excuses or someone who never let’s an obstacle prevent him reaching his goal. There may be more but these are two ways of looking at this, presupposed narrative will play an enormous part of which one you think I am. What kind of character you think I have will have potentially already been decided before you’ve even finished reading the sentence. What though is it that leads us to seeing events through whichever prism we have been programmed to look through. Are we who we are because of previous events, similar things which we experienced in the past and played out a particular way, our subconscious now presupposes every event similar will play out the same way. Alternatively is how we view this something innate within us, dare I saw, where we born that way. Importantly too, ‘we have been programmed’ already implies an assumption of sorts and it would be worth mentioning how that sentence was toyed with before being settled upon.

John Paul Sartre may not be seen as the father of existentialism but it isn’t too far fetched to refer to him as it’s most famous and important proponent. He believed existence precedes essence, simply put we create our own character through our experiences and our actions, and are not born this way. To put it crudely would be to hurtle into the frame of nature versus nurture. What happened in my life then that led me to feel the need to qualify what I was about to say with an excuse on the off chance that what was to come would in some ways not be to the required standard. Have I failed too often in the past, do I lack confidence or self belief, have I learnt that over explaining everything is necessary, am I in some perverse way just too polite. On the other hand Scorpios don’t try anything unless they know they’re going to succeed, perhaps that was a way of preempting failure. The Chinese Ox just plods through and gets on with it, perhaps the laptop issue was nothing more than something to be plodded over. Really though who knows, ultimately which ever way you lean on this particular issue has most likely already been decided in your mind long before you started reading this.