Tag: map

Life’s Pot Of Gold

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

My eye hurts and I’ve felt a little sore the last two days. I think I need a holiday. Summer is drawing to a close, the numbers of visitors to this little village are ever so slightly decreasing and it feels like a period of time is drawing to a close. With Autumn comes the shedding of leaves as we move into a season of rest and recovery. The hibernation is upon us and with it like it’s time to step back out into the world. It is both daunting and exciting to make another change in life when you have been within one version of existence for so long. I was supposed to only be in this village for two months and that was last October. I won’t be giving my friends the satisfaction of having stayed for a full year but at eleven months it’s not exactly been a fly by visit. I understand more now and have gained an appreciation for a life in one place which I didn’t have before, as well as life already lived strangely enough. Despite being desperate for a holiday and being able to see something new I now know I am capable of returning to a state of existence previously beyond me. Will I miss it when I’m move one. Probably actually yes. But not this exact version.

When in a few years from now the stories of peoples time in lockdown are all out I look forward to reading about them. Of course there will be people who just drank beer, had BBQ’s and got bored but there will be as many who learnt new things and ways of being. When I speak to people here invariably they all say the same thing that they hated lockdown after a while and were just desperate to get back to work. Maybe I have been asking the wrong people but it is also one of the reason’s I know I can’t stay here. I love it very much but I need more, I need to be surrounded by people who want more. Maybe more is unfair because I’m probably just repeating previous mistakes in my understanding and valuing others, I just want different. Something else, something other than this version of existence. The constant search through the permanent existential crisis of life. But nothing is permanent, not even crisis and certainly not ones involving purpose and worth. Yet we continue struggling through them, determined to find an elusive answer we’ve promised ourselves exists. Was the pot of gold not buried below the very tree he was sitting under as he first devised how best to leave in search of prosperity. Despite everything; knowing, understanding and being still remain divided. Can they ever come together?

Yet it is more positive than it sounds. If anything has become obvious from recent events it’s that in life you just keep going. We find joy and happiness in the unexpected but we must be open to seeing and embracing these unexpected. To understand that everyone has a pot of gold out there somewhere but that they themselves already have both the map and the spade is key. First though we must stop trying to use others maps and others tools. With this all becomes exciting once more. It actually is possible. It’s always been possible. It’s just down to us to make it probable.

A Reading Corner

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I write this in a unique spot. I have a new armchair. Unique in that this is a unique moment for me writing this in a new armchair not unique in that I’m the only person out there with an armchair. New is not entirely accurate either, it was donated to the cause, my cause to be more precise and it’s dusty enough not to be new. It’s a vomit yellow colour which is unfortunate so it’ll be getting a throw put over it as soon as possible and despite looking a little uncomfortable it’s actually really cosy to sit in. It is currently sitting in a corner of my lounge which used to be piled up with random junk, it was my messy corner. Now however I am a man with an armchair and a reading corner.

I am going to attach a lamp and it’s shade to a wooden stool I have which will involve a drill and a little creativity, and I have bought something to go on the wall behind the chair. The something is a nautical navigation map of this area and this I would ordinarily find a little kitsch but I quite like the idea of it in a reading corner, there seems something fitting about it and not just in an ironic way. That could be also because I enjoy the humour value of creating a reading corner with an armchair, even though I want it for actual sitting and reading not just as an art installation. I’m sure humour is a healthy way to view these things. I have my reading corner and it’s ridiculous but I’m happy with it. Or I will be when I finish it and it’s not just a chair stuffed in the corner of a room. Which makes me realise I now need a bookshelf although it would probably have to be on the wall above my head which makes me nervous as I’ve seen my past carpentry. Perhaps I should just build a library and be done with it, that seems safer.

I’ve always wanted a good bookshelf so I can stack all my books in a highly visible manner in an attempt to impress people and look intelligent. I also want one for my own pleasure of course and for the practical necessity but there is a bit of ego involved I know for sure. I could stack my books instead that has potential for satisfying imagery but you need a lot of them for that. And a plant. I’ll definitely need to get a plant now. The problem with all of this is that I’m going to create a beautiful space and then have to move out. This flat isn’t forever so neither will the art installation representing my life. It’s like graffiti in a way, the temporary home like the impermanent wall mural. Someone will always paint over it one day just as someone else will live in this space and make it their own. Perhaps I shouldn’t get too attached to this new corner after all but I’ll just carry on enjoying it in the meantime.