A Ramble Through Little

I was doing so well living the life of oblivious bliss. No news for ten days, suddenly the world felt like a beautiful place. When you have no idea what is going on outside of the bubble you live in on a daily basis then things can very easily start to appear relatively calm. It helps that the bubble is a small seaside village and despite peoples best attempts at creating them, there are few genuine regular issues worth being demoralised over. That doesn’t mean things don’t happen but certainly little worthy of national attention let alone global and geopolitical. Saying that in places like this all you have to do is scrape below the surface and you’ll find something worth getting carried away with. It does explain the propensity for gossip in places like this though.

It’s interesting to see how we respond to moments of drama. I know I could live in a small village and life would be relatively stress free, likely it would be safe and although there wouldn’t be many people around I would know enough of them to not experience loneliness. Living in a city is far more exciting, there are things to do, places and people to see and there would be enough action to absorb you attention as required. Life though would probably be more intense and potentially more stressful, also in my experience far more lonely than any small village I’ve ever lived in. I’ve never quite understood that, and suspect the lonely feeling in cities is something born out of not being brought up in one and knowing how really to exist within them.

Perhaps a balance between the two. Always a balance. Always a fence to sit on. A sleepy but interesting and cultured city beside the sea. That’s the dream. I imagine if that existed so many people would have moved there in search of it they would destroy it in the process. It’s like being a tourist and wanting to visit the idyllic spots and being oblivious to the fact your presence helps in destroying any sense of idyllic you once had. We just can win. But we should never give up. What kind of life would that be. Too busy, too noisy but never settle. Or does that just miss the point for acceptance and appreciating what you have. Perhaps that’s for another time when I fancy another little ramble. It’s happened before, it’ll happen again.

Haruki Murakami

I finally got over my readers block and finished what feels like my first book in months. I feel very pleased with myself. With enforced isolation around the corner maybe we’ll all get a chance to have a little read soon. The book was ‘Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World’ by Haruki Murakami. I’m sure there’s a proper word for it but it is two stories running parallel to each other, which you find out as the story evolves are interconnected. One was a cyber punk detective story about a man who ‘shuffles’ information for a quasi-governmental organisation call The System and who finds himself being chased down by first The System’s shady rivals and then some underground sub-human aquatic monsters called Inklings. The story was written in 1985 so imagine all of your favourite dark grimy 80s punk sci-fi films and picture how that could look and unfold. The other is a dreamy story about a man who arrives in a walled town which he cannot leave, he has his shadow taken from him and he works as a dreamreader. The town also has unicorns. It is obvious in any book which is two stories together that they interconnect so it is probably okay to say that without giving too much away.

It seems every Murakami novel, I say every but this is only my third, the men are solitary lonely lovers of jazz and alcohol. It mustn’t be coincidental that prior to becoming an author Murakami ran a jazz bar in Tokyo. The women in his story are never like any women I’ve ever met, they seem both simple and deep and are usually quite promiscuous. I have heard criticism of his female characters as being unreal but I mentioned this to a woman once who suggested the women were merely described from the perspective of the narrator and that this was either how the narrator experienced them or how he viewed women. They couldn’t in that case be unreal and I quite like that description, it seems like an insight worth repeating when I am attempting to sound smart.

Murakami described this as his favourite novel he had written and while it is not his most successful or well renowned it does seem to have won a variety of awards over the years. I enjoyed it but I felt it lacked on to ‘South of the Border, West of the Sun’ and his collection of short stories ‘Men Without Women’ which was the first Murakami I read and didn’t just enjoy because I was feeling like a man without a woman at the time. He has a pained empty loneliness in his work, apparently in this style it is a very Japanese thing, but it feels like something you can connect with in a positive way despite those not appearing to be positive attributes at first. We enjoy authors because of story or language but quite often because we can connect to them. There is a depth to his work that is approachable and relatable, and as I finish his books I am always excited to read the next. If you haven’t read your first yet I think you know what you need to do. You may just have a little time on your hands soon anyway.

The Hobbyists Dear Diary

Although I am starting to become concerned that I may just be turning this into a glorified diary I’m seemingly on such a self indulgent enough trip at present that I’ll continue.

Dear diary,
Today I started a new hobby. You see dearest diary I love hobbies, in fact I’ve seemingly been treating too many things in life as hobbies. Some call it not sticking to anything, but for me I really really wanted to be a yoga teacher so I did a course and got a certificate, a tree surgeon so I did a course, a sailor so I did numerous courses, an English teacher, a philosopher, carpenter, engineer, proofreader and I’m in no doubt there were others that I have forgotten about. I loved learning all these things with the intention of turning them into a career, and in a way I did, just my own version of a career. Oh dear diary I just love to refer to them all as a series of hobbies, my life appears to be one long hobby and it’s just such fun. And now I have a new one. I’m going to learn computer science and become a coder. The ultimate jack of all trades has finally tried to pick up a computer and turned it on successfully. Isn’t that so exciting dear diary.
love you love you love you love you

But yes that is that. I’m a grown man with a diary online. It’s funny how things naturally evolve and I know I take the piss out of myself but I don’t mind or care what I am writing about or where I am now. In truth there is so much time for a hell of a lot of evolution in this thing and currently this is where I’m at. The diary phase.

Coding though, for someone who has prided himself on being a technophobe all these years and forever too cool for school, this is quite the corner to have turned. Who knows though, I’ve got to stick to something one day and this allows for a hell of a lot of flexibility, freedom and creativity. It may just be something that grabs my attention when I’m not sailing or getting beaten up by girls.

With all that in mind it is worth pointing out that there is always more to anything. We are put under so much pressure from society to achieve X, Y and Z, and to have done it by a certain age. For sure there are many people out there lost, with no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going. It is a stressful existence and it disgusts me that people have been allowed to slip through the cracks, forgotten and ignored. They may feel alone but they’re not, that’s almost the worst part. Stand up my brothers and sisters, societies outcasts who have not, can not and do not want to achieve success in a style unnatural and forced upon them. Be free and embrace your freedom. Realise you are the lucky few. And while you’re at it, why not take up a hobby or two.