Tag: locals

Life’s Pot Of Gold

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My eye hurts and I’ve felt a little sore the last two days. I think I need a holiday. Summer is drawing to a close, the numbers of visitors to this little village are ever so slightly decreasing and it feels like a period of time is drawing to a close. With Autumn comes the shedding of leaves as we move into a season of rest and recovery. The hibernation is upon us and with it like it’s time to step back out into the world. It is both daunting and exciting to make another change in life when you have been within one version of existence for so long. I was supposed to only be in this village for two months and that was last October. I won’t be giving my friends the satisfaction of having stayed for a full year but at eleven months it’s not exactly been a fly by visit. I understand more now and have gained an appreciation for a life in one place which I didn’t have before, as well as life already lived strangely enough. Despite being desperate for a holiday and being able to see something new I now know I am capable of returning to a state of existence previously beyond me. Will I miss it when I’m move one. Probably actually yes. But not this exact version.

When in a few years from now the stories of peoples time in lockdown are all out I look forward to reading about them. Of course there will be people who just drank beer, had BBQ’s and got bored but there will be as many who learnt new things and ways of being. When I speak to people here invariably they all say the same thing that they hated lockdown after a while and were just desperate to get back to work. Maybe I have been asking the wrong people but it is also one of the reason’s I know I can’t stay here. I love it very much but I need more, I need to be surrounded by people who want more. Maybe more is unfair because I’m probably just repeating previous mistakes in my understanding and valuing others, I just want different. Something else, something other than this version of existence. The constant search through the permanent existential crisis of life. But nothing is permanent, not even crisis and certainly not ones involving purpose and worth. Yet we continue struggling through them, determined to find an elusive answer we’ve promised ourselves exists. Was the pot of gold not buried below the very tree he was sitting under as he first devised how best to leave in search of prosperity. Despite everything; knowing, understanding and being still remain divided. Can they ever come together?

Yet it is more positive than it sounds. If anything has become obvious from recent events it’s that in life you just keep going. We find joy and happiness in the unexpected but we must be open to seeing and embracing these unexpected. To understand that everyone has a pot of gold out there somewhere but that they themselves already have both the map and the spade is key. First though we must stop trying to use others maps and others tools. With this all becomes exciting once more. It actually is possible. It’s always been possible. It’s just down to us to make it probable.

Tories, Football & Poo

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As I scour the worlds events in search of topics I discover little. Another Tory sex offender doing his best attempt at being a throwback to the 1990s. Usually they were having gay affairs but with being gay not an inhibitive issue anymore he appears to have just gone and sexually assaulted someone instead. I’m cautious of immediately believing every accusation but there’s often no smoke without fire as they say. In other Tory news the somehow not yet fully disgraced Housing Minister Robert Jennrick has made that favourite of Tory moves and cut red tape. This time it revolves around planning permission and all in the name of preserving the economy post-Covid-19, despite the fact we’re still very much present-Covid-19. It’s not like have no planning permission regulations has ever led to anything dangerous or slum like in the past, I’m sure this will definitely be different now that we have the Compassionate Conservatives in power. Is that still a thing or was it just the last incumbents who were compassionate enough to label themselves such. I forget.

Chelsea lost the FA Cup Final yesterday which I was so pleased about I gave a little fist squeeze when I saw the result. I mention them losing over Arsenal winning because I’m reasonably indifferent to Arsenal, their manager Mikel Arteta is so far likeable and Chelsea are a relatively detestable club with detestable fans. They win too much for my liking, are improving their squad a little too much also for my liking and winning the cup could potentially have given them an unwanted boost. Long term is important but we enjoy that endorphin kick in the short term probably even more. With Manchester United about to kick off their Europa League re-start next week let’s hope there’s not some Chelsea fan sitting behind a keyboard writing similar about us towards the end of the month and the tournaments conclusion. There’s nothing quite like a bit of blind tribal irrationality to give us the chance to embrace our most basic of desires.

In local news, those familiar with past posts, will remember ‘Poo Gate’ in the local Facebook group. This group was closed down by the admin when the tourist bashing got a little strong, but a few weeks ago it was opened up again. Unfortunately the tourist bashing has resumed unabated, apparently the existence of motor homes that don’t stay in the overly priced and full campsites are a blight on society and one woman discovered four of those little black bags of dog poo beside a fence. Society is crumbling before our eyes it would appear. I was very close to leaving them a comment suggesting they were all idiots and that the group should be shut down again but thought better of it as not a single positive thing would come from my action. Cities may be at the forefront of progressive culture but there’s nothing quite like a small village to get to the heart of what is at our core as a people.

Being Human

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I must begin with a retraction. I suggested I was hooted, or claxoned, at by two cars yesterday and that I thought not only were the two people being arseholes, that they must surely have been locals too. I was aware that I may have been jumping to conclusions but I was in the mood to do it anyway. It turns out then that I was wrong. One of the guys in the bakery today asked me if I realised it was him hooting at me and it turns out the second incident, the one I enjoyed, not the one which involved the road rage, was not as it first seemed. Probably not as I interpreted it would me more fitting. It’s amazing how often two people can experience the same situation in completely different ways, or people take offence to someones manner when the other person is oblivious to what they were doing. In this incident I jumped to the conclusion it was some ignorant local being an idiot but really there was only one idiot there, the guy from the bakery obviously. Let’s hope I learnt something from yesterday or the only conclusion can be that there is but one arsehole.

I’m trying to think what if anything else I can retract from previous pieces. Surely in over two hundred and fifty pieces I’ve talked a lot of shit, but how much of it was inaccurate and ignorant. The title of this whole blog suggests I misunderstand many things so not only am I likely to have talked a lot of shit over these months but the hooting incident above suggests I’m simply living up to the expectations of the name. I make observations – locals are idiots – I make misunderstandings – it turns out they’re not.

I was listening to something on woke people and anti-woke people today. I would rather eat my own toes than class myself as either of those two things but what they were discussing was the absolutist stances both sides take and while their targets may change their methods and understanding, for example good guys and bad guys, was very similar. Almost dogmatic like religion. I could criticise them but judging by yesterdays incident I’m no different. To generalise a whole group of people, who have done me no actual harm that I know of, and blame this whole group for the actions of one person is just utterly ridiculous. Why do we do it. Why do I do it. To make sense of the world? Am I that simplistic? Are such crude boxes required for my mind to be comfortable. People are ridiculous. I am ridiculous. But I’m human. And fallible. As is life.

Road Rage

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I did something today which I like to believe was out of character. I pulled over to park on the main street of this little village and I did it in no great rush without indicating. That’s not the strange behaviour, this is a little seaside village it’s how people drive. There was a guy behind me who hooted, or claxoned as the French like to say which is such a great word, and as he drove past gave me a stare and waved his arms around. I maintained eye contact although didn’t respond but he annoyed me and I drove after him. Very quickly I realised I was ridiculous and I actually asked myself what I thought I was going to do, fight the man? I mean come one, I don’t fight people and I rarely if ever give in to road rage type behaviour. I mean I barely even bother hooting the horn, or claxon, at people. For me it’s strange behaviour and I’m not embarrassed, I more surprised and I find it amusing in it’s stupidity in a way.

For context I had been awake since three AM delivering bread and had then been doing some semi-urgent handyman work on a holiday home so was pretty tired and already in a funny mood. Also I knew instantly that the guy was a local and he thought I was some annoying tourist. For further context over July and August you can’t move in this place for the tourists wanting a bit of the white sandy beaches and castles. I love the energy and life they bring. I’ve mentioned it before but without tourists this village would be crumbling and the locals resent these visitors for their own dependence. I knew exactly what the hooting was about and I think the mans stupidity annoyed me, but then that means all that happened was that he transferred his anger on to me and I don’t want that. Incidentally I got hooted again later by another car in the same spot as I turned down into an alley that I park overnight in. I indicated but took my time turning and could see him in my mirror looking exasperated as he drove past. I enjoyed that one. It’s only early July and it’s already getting too much for them. I suspect they liked having their village back over lockdown. Insular heaven. Also two incidents suggests my driving must have been a cause and it may have been part of it but it wasn’t that bad. There’s some angry people out there. I nearly joined them for all of about four seconds. Thank god there’s always a funny side to everything. Ultimately, people are fascinating.

Another Day, Another Ramble

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Today is one of those days in which I can’t think of anything to write about. One of those moments the mind feels stagnant. But I write everyday, there can be no excuse, 365 days won’t reach itself. Incidentally I’m definitely over six months now, maybe even seven or eight if I could be bothered to count. I just know come October I’ll have to start checking the exact date I started and try to avoid writing endlessly about how close I am to completing a year and how nice it’ll be not to have the constant thought in the back of my mind that I have to do something. Some days I enjoy it, some days I just can’t be bothered and some days I wish I had written something earlier as I’m tired and want to go to bed. Rarely I don’t enjoy it though.

I’ve still not written a poem, that was one of the things I thought would be interesting to try. I’ve not written a short story either. I can’t remember the other things I excitedly thought I may do. I think I misunderstood how my writing would go down. I don’t take the time to write creatively like that, life can be busy and I generally just give myself an hour to bash these out. I suspect this will be a little less but that’s because it’s one of those filler pieces. Yet I’m still writing.

I thought about mentioning Covid-19 and the political implications of todays relaxing of lockdown rules but I’ve been talking too much about that already recently. I even checked RT.com to see if they had anything outlandish I could talk about. They don’t seem to think too highly of Meghan Markle and I’m not entirely sure why. What ever she did to piss off the Russians is beyond me. Maybe I should have checked Al Jazeera, I could have compared their stories, RT’s stories and the BBC’s to create a balanced version of the days events. I’m sure you could add all their stories up and together they would create a reputable version. Either that or the average of what total bullshit could look like.

In personal news I’ve been fantasising about living on the canals again. This is not a new one and I nearly did it about five or six years ago until I realised I wasn’t quite ready for such a sedate life. Sounds lovely now though. Nothing against the village, but I suspect small insular communities don’t quite have enough to hold me. Not that I’ll find the opposite all along a canal. It’s times like these though that I remember how being oblivious to the same type of thing but in foreign countries and therefore foreign languages, made places seem so much nicer. There’s something lacking in forever being on the periphery though. I wonder if people come here to the white sandy beaches, castles, monasteries and walks, and think how lovely the locals are, unaware to how they really feel about outsiders. Perhaps they just resent them because they know they depend on them.

But I shouldn’t be too unfair because I don’t know everybody and I don’t know they all feel. Also nobodies really done anything directly to me it’s more that I just feel sadness at witnessing such a beautiful little area stifled by idiots who can’t see outside of this tiny little whole universe of theirs. And I’m judging people I don’t really know again which I shouldn’t be because it’s unfair and that just makes me a dick. It’s just the frustration that’s all. This place just isn’t the best version of itself it could be. But then what and who is.