killing time – Observations and Misunderstandings

I’m having one of those ‘Own it!!‘ days. It began when I was feeling a little lazy earlier while ‘working’ and decided to put a podcast on in the background. I wasn’t in the mood to learn anything so dismissed the more intellectual ones I like to impress people with and listened to Joe Rogan instead. His guest was comedian Bert Kreischer who I discovered recently on another podcast and who seems like the kind of guy who would deeply offend certain people. In that case as far as I’m concerned he is doing the job a stand-up comedian should be doing; using humour to highlight our worst tendencies and hypocrisies. Joe Rogan’s podcast is generally a hit although he gets it wrong sometimes, but there are some like this one in which you feel as if you’re just hanging out with two mates smoking, drinking and talking shit. While some may dismiss that kind of behaviour I feel they miss the point that people need that. They need to talk shit and not care. Sometimes Joe Rogan can start talking about exercise and health and you know the man lives what he’s saying, there’s an intensity to it that dare I say is inspiring.

For anyone who has read any of these on a regular basis they will be aware of how a couple of months ago I had an own it!! moment after an energising salt water cleanse. It’s a powerful one and it makes you realise how much a healthy gut can have an effect upon your mood and your energy levels. I slowly slipped back into my old unhealthy ways and am now back relying on coffee for energy and pastries for a easy lunch. Needless to say I’m groggy and lethargic most of the time but importantly having not always been groggy and lethargic I am aware of there being other states of existence. Much of this is mental, the drive to achieve and the energy to make it happen comes from the mind in many ways but if the gut is a second brain then we can’t overlook it’s contribution too. I’ve just started reading the book Gut by Giulia Enders again and seeing as I’ve just got over my readers block I’m pretty confident I’ll make it beyond page twenty this time.

Nobody should go through life lethargic and groggy, and if one thing is clear as the world falls apart around us is that life is finite, why waste it killing time. I’m going to finish this bag of coffee I’ve got, transition back to green tea and cut out the bloody sugar which I’m surrounded by from working in a bakery and being weak. How long this will last is anyones guess but considering this daily blog has lasted about four months now I’m clearly capable of the previously impossible with a little effort. I’m probably going to do some yoga, some calisthenics and go for a run after this. I’ve got to do something with my time, might as well own what I say.

It is very important not to speak on behalf of others. To say people do this or people do that, we like to imagine these things because we have recognised others acting in specific ways. In reality it is a two-fold mistake because if we do recognise these actions in others then we are generalising, and we are unaware that we recognise these behaviours because they are most likely things we recognise in others from ourselves. This is an over simplification and I suspect is just an example of one or two things, which I am then using to make sweeping statements in the very same way I derided others for above. The point of that incredibly long winded intro though was not to highlight that I clearly still don’t grasp the importance of only having a small word count, but to lead into making my own sweeping statements generally, using my understanding of myself to justify them.

I have spent much time reading today as I never went to work and I feel pretty pleased with myself. I have been suffering, as I mentioned in the past, from a form of readers block. Not only have I struggled to sit down and read, to do this intensely enough to focus on a book long enough to avoid forgetting about it has been impossible. Add to that the fact I have even gone against everything I previously believed and viewed the whole art of reading as a pointless endeavour, it is not too much of a stretch to say it has been a weird time recently. There have been periods in my life when I haven’t read much at all and others in which I can’t put a book down, one after another. Why that is is unclear but having been someone who has moved around a lot and spent a few weeks to a few months in different surroundings it is safe to say our environment plays a huge role in what we choose to do as a hobby.

There have been many moments in life when I have been frustrated by this constant chopping and changing of interests. Recently for example I have been frustrated with myself. There have been plenty of moments when I’ve killed time drifting from one piece of nonsense to another online. I should be frustrated because it is a waste of our finite time, but perhaps it’s also necessary to help us enjoy and appreciate the more important moments. The point I’ve been working up to from the beginning though is that it may just be okay to in this instance read loads and then not at all because as long as we’re always doing something, we will be doing what we enjoy. If I were to force myself to read and not do whatever that other productive thing is I would see reading as a chore and an ordeal. While I don’t deny there will always be a little effort required to find the discipline to sit down and do things that require thought, even if we really enjoy them, there must always be enjoyment in them or for me it defeats the point. It was good to read today, I found the time and I enjoyed myself. I read for the pure pleasure.

To link in with what now feels like a rather pointless first paragraph, I am making wild assumptions that everyone is just like me. They frustrate themselves when they are not doing the things they think they want to do, that they feel they should be doing. Instead they’re doing other things but perhaps not quite as intensely as they would be if they weren’t constantly imagining they should be reading. There was a point to the first paragraph although I now pretty much disagree with my own sentiment from it as I’m aware that not everyone does what I have just described. I will however leave it in so that the thought process from A to B can be clear for all to see. It appears it is okay to change your mind. What you say once need not be your belief forever more.

Tag: killing time

Own It!!

Just Sit Down And Read