Habitual Emotions

According to BJ Fogg habits are connected to our emotions and until we understand our emotive relationship to our habitual responses we will struggle to transform our behaviour into a series of positive actions. I may have added to and slightly paraphrased what he said but the link to our emotions is all his. He also says that we should make tiny changes to our habits and give ourselves a reward as and when we achieve our aims. He uses the example of his eighty year old father wanting to do twenty push-ups a day and believing he’ll achieve this because of his desire to do so. His father according to Fogg is displaying an outdated attitude to creating change, one of believing that if he has strength of mind and willpower to make these changes in his life; that that will be enough to make the positive difference he is after. Fogg believes instead that he should make tiny changes, perhaps two push-ups against the sink each time he’s washing his hands for example. This is an achievable goal and can be used as a base to work on. The emotive aspect comes from our need for a reward. The reward can simply be feeling happy when we achieve targets and make positive habitual changes in our lives or when we struggle feeling unhappy. These emotive responses become habit themselves.

This journey into the realms of discipline you’re going on with me is, and I’ve said this many times before, interlinked with our habits and responses. Our habitual responses to situations dictate how we behave when faced with a variety of situations big and small, and have become deeper and deeper ingrained the more we repeat them as we get older. Once we see behaviour as simply as series of habits it becomes easier to both empathetically understand other peoples actions and creates a deeper understanding of ourselves and our own behaviour. These ideas of BJ Fogg then are very interesting because what he is adding is a method to how we can make these changes. While it is still about observing your habitual responses to different situations, he suggests making these small changes you want to happen. It appears to be a more direct approach than simply observing and not repeating, or trying a new approach when you recognise the old toxic one. This is made possible by not trying to create huge and unattainable targets that will hinder your achieving the positive emotive response you unconsciously desire and require. This idea of tiny habits is a new one for me so I’m not entirely sure empirically what I think about it but it seems like common sense it a way. The danger is though that just like his father; I want it all now, I want those twenty push-ups a day. To really embrace tiny steps and tiny habits requires a deal of patience that in itself needs to be fostered habitually. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy no matter how much you desire it.

Mental Corruption

My plan yesterday had been to start talking about football and depending how it evolved, hopefully find myself on the topic of corruption. My brain however had a mind of it’s own and certainly was a long way from working. Today, has not been that different, my brain still has a mind of it’s own and I haven’t seen much evidence of it working.

It’s that time of year then when we all start to look at our lives and ask the difficult questions. I haven’t necessarily had a bad 2019, it’s been great in many ways but I’m ready for 2020 too, ready to see what it has to offer. I realised recently, or in the last six months I think, that worrying about how old I am and life passing me by is pointless. It stemmed from attempting to move into what could be considered the normal world and thinking that at my age I was ill equipped. In hindsight it’s clear now that the folly there was to mistake what equipment was required.

Of course these fears come from seeing how much stuff people are doing with their lives and while I know I’ve done some cool things, I know right now I could be doing more. I don’t like the idea that life is passing me by even when I know it’s not. I don’t want to be cheesy but ultimately it is all part of a process, and as long as you have a goal you’re on a journey, even if that journey is to merely achieve the goal of finding a goal to achieve. There are some podcast guys I listen to, specifically Dr Christopher Ryan for the sake of this point, who have achieved some known things in life and probably a lot of unknown things, as well as periods of doing fuck all, but he’s now in his late fifties and still evolving into something cool, achieving things along the way. I mention him not to idolise or replicate him but to highlight that really we get caught up so much with this idea of age and having limits of what it is we can and have to have achieved by certain ages. It is interesting really just to see people still doing things at certain ages when societies and many of our peers tell us we can’t or should be doing something else. Saying that it is also double-edged as I met some memorable people traveling still, who had been been traveling too long, who I felt should have perhaps stopped and done something else by their age. If living the dream has now become ironic then you may have gone too far.

I still haven’t managed to talk about corruption but that is fine. You see I’ll get there, that is a point to achieve and everything relating to it or not is just part of the journey in reaching it. So tomorrow will be the last day of this decade, and who knows what the next will hold, but I’m excited for what it will, and that includes how I’m going to get there. Who knows, if I make it exciting enough there may even be a little corruption on the way.