Tag: irony

A Reading Corner

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I write this in a unique spot. I have a new armchair. Unique in that this is a unique moment for me writing this in a new armchair not unique in that I’m the only person out there with an armchair. New is not entirely accurate either, it was donated to the cause, my cause to be more precise and it’s dusty enough not to be new. It’s a vomit yellow colour which is unfortunate so it’ll be getting a throw put over it as soon as possible and despite looking a little uncomfortable it’s actually really cosy to sit in. It is currently sitting in a corner of my lounge which used to be piled up with random junk, it was my messy corner. Now however I am a man with an armchair and a reading corner.

I am going to attach a lamp and it’s shade to a wooden stool I have which will involve a drill and a little creativity, and I have bought something to go on the wall behind the chair. The something is a nautical navigation map of this area and this I would ordinarily find a little kitsch but I quite like the idea of it in a reading corner, there seems something fitting about it and not just in an ironic way. That could be also because I enjoy the humour value of creating a reading corner with an armchair, even though I want it for actual sitting and reading not just as an art installation. I’m sure humour is a healthy way to view these things. I have my reading corner and it’s ridiculous but I’m happy with it. Or I will be when I finish it and it’s not just a chair stuffed in the corner of a room. Which makes me realise I now need a bookshelf although it would probably have to be on the wall above my head which makes me nervous as I’ve seen my past carpentry. Perhaps I should just build a library and be done with it, that seems safer.

I’ve always wanted a good bookshelf so I can stack all my books in a highly visible manner in an attempt to impress people and look intelligent. I also want one for my own pleasure of course and for the practical necessity but there is a bit of ego involved I know for sure. I could stack my books instead that has potential for satisfying imagery but you need a lot of them for that. And a plant. I’ll definitely need to get a plant now. The problem with all of this is that I’m going to create a beautiful space and then have to move out. This flat isn’t forever so neither will the art installation representing my life. It’s like graffiti in a way, the temporary home like the impermanent wall mural. Someone will always paint over it one day just as someone else will live in this space and make it their own. Perhaps I shouldn’t get too attached to this new corner after all but I’ll just carry on enjoying it in the meantime.

The Big D Show

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Donald Trump is great. Well he’s not, he’s awful, but his press conferences certainly are. I skimmed through last nights reality television take on politics and regretted the fact it was so late and I couldn’t just sit there and watch the full film length episode in it’s entirety. In fact I think there may be another one on tonight but in about ten minutes as I write these exact words which means by the time I write the last words I’ll have probably missed the first half hour. To describe it as a car crash does a disservice to similes. It is more of a motorway pileup and one that despite being on an incredibly serious, life and death topic, is gleefully compelling viewing. My favourite bit is when he does the slightly camp pointing gesture with his podgy little hands while describing the recipient as a disgrace and describing their question as disgraceful in turn. I wonder what adjective he’ll use tonight. Shameless would be great and not just because he would undoubtedly miss the irony in the accusation. He spends over an hour blindly arguing with reporters. Even as I write this now, I’m unsure if I imagined it. Even Boris Johnson’s buffoonery cannot compete.

I think to all discerning people it is pretty clear Trump is a charlatan. He is a renowned conman who made his name in what has gone down as the tackiest decade for businessmen, think of the yuppie if you’re in any doubt. He runs the country as if he’s head of a mafia family demanding people recognise his absolute authority. Again missing the point that those with absolute authorities very rarely have to tell people of it, especially while arguing with reporters. What is clear from watching these reality shows he’s currently staring in is that he’s not used to people challenging him and he can’t deal with it when they do, especially when god forbid a woman does it. The man manages to both maintain his composure and have a breakdown all in the same moment, repeatedly. A well known Pseudoephedrine dependency, yes that would be a large component of amphetamines, perhaps makes it more explicable but never forgivable, although certainly more entertaining.

But that’s it isn’t it. The man is such unadulterated entertainment and you know I can admit I’ll miss him a little when he’s gone. I don’t get caught up on hating him and ranting about him like many do but let’s be honest he’s not a cause of the worlds ills he’s merely a symptom. The same system that brought us Barack Obama also brought Donald Trump. By getting caught up in this obsession with identity all we do is fail to realise he is there to distract us, he’s the ultimate magician. Don’t look at the hand he’s waving around, it’s the other one down his side you need to keep an eye on. Puff, a cloud of smoke, and out steps his challenger but it’s pretty clear Joe Biden is never going to defeat him in an election. When they go head to head in a debate The Donald is going to annihilate him and no matter how badly he handles this virus nothing will change that. The Democrats seem to be more interested in having one of their own run than anyone who could actual defeat him and enact change. They seem intent on mirroring the British Labour party who prefer to sabotage their own elections than allow an actual left winger to get into power and change things. Get rid of Big D and you’ll change the face, certainly the soundbite but not the politics. Don’t be naive. Without him what are we going to feel self-righteous about then. And who else can hold a room in the most abhorrent and compelling way that keeps us coming back for more and more and more. Speaking of which, I can probably catch the second half if I hurry.

Teach Me O Wise Leader

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

There once was a man called William T. Riker. He was a fictional character in Star Trek, quite a popular and well known one apparently. There was also another man called William E. Riker, he was less fictional and created his own city called ‘Holy City’. He was a cult leader who also happened to be a conman and a white supremacist. Now is not the time for his story, I recommend either you check out his wikipedia page if you’re boring or listen to the latest episode of ‘The Dollop’ if you have a spare one hundred and two minutes and like jokes. In short though the city itself was at it’s height in and around the 1920s, 30s and 40s. It became a white supremacist theme park of sorts, people gave up their wives to him and he seemed to thrive on people’s attention. It was based upon his teachings of God, his love of Cadillacs and the ability to make money from selling fuel and access to peep shows. He also ran for political office multiple times and failed miserably each time. To put it simply he was a total character and he died a grumpy old man at the age of ninety-six. The land still contains one of the original buildings and was sold recently to Robert and Patricia Duggan for six million dollars. Robert Duggan recently made three and a half billion dollars selling an oncology drug and is a very wealthy man. He also donated twenty million dollars to The Church of Scientology making him their largest financial donor.

What I don’t understand, amongst many things, is how someone can look at that land and it’s history, I assume recognise it was once owned by a crazy cult and then turn around without one iota of irony and give twenty million anything to what is also clearly a crazy cult. The Church Of Scientology is based upon a science fiction novel, my brain does not understand the complexities of the human mind sufficiently to understand what it is that allows people to ignore that overwhelming fact. At least the Bible has fear built into it and large enough numbers to give it credibility in the minds of pack animals. When people started believing in the Bible we barely had science and still believed the world was flat…he says with a hint of irony. It also tells you that while money might be useful it’s clearly not the answer as people embrace whatever it is that Scientology has to offer. Do people living in the niche bubble of the super wealthy really have such lives devoid of the reality that we know, they see truth in a cult like Scientology? All the money in the world and they’re still searching for answers and happiness. Saying that we can’t dismiss the possibility that Scientology actually is the answer and that they allow themselves to appear to anyone who wasn’t denied the contact of a mother as a baby as crazies to keep the riff raff out. It’s a possibility but I’m sticking to the laws of probability here. I’m sure were I to give myself more time and read some psychology papers, if anyone has any please email them to me, that point out the everyday things I most likely do that are comparative to the offerings in a cult. Money, celebrity, power would probably feature but I would love to know the things I’m completely unaware of, the things I’ve been brainwashed not only into believing but so brainwashed I am unaware they are even things. Isn’t the mind wonderful. Now believe in mine for it is God. And give me your wife if you have one.