hypocrite – Observations and Misunderstandings

An Unmasked Scumbag

31/07/2020 Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

It’s confession time. I’ve not been wearing a mask. I’ve been into shops, supermarkets, even the little grocer that demands you use hand sanitiser if you want to come in. Okay the last one I barely took two steps in the shop and the guy just got me what I wanted but still I’ll include it. So far nobody has said anything and I suspect they probably won’t either. When I was in Sainsburys they played some rather conflicting messages which actually weren’t conflicting over the tannoy; “It is mandatory to wear face masks in store” followed by “Please be aware of those whose with conditions which may not be immediately obvious”. I did wonder if I should use that as an excuse were someone to challenge me but I can’t help feel it would be slightly disrespectful to people with genuine reasons for not wearing masks. So far I haven’t actually seen a single person not wearing one. I won’t deny I felt like a total pariah and imagined everyone’s eyes were surely on me, judging me. Like everything people were probably too involved in their own worlds to even notice and for this reason loads of maskless faces probably went past me but I couldn’t stop thinking about my own to notice.

This isn’t some protest. This has nothing to do with civil liberties. In truth I find peoples objections for wearing them on those grounds absurd. We live in an economic system which robs us and subtly enslaves us each and every day, and people take umbrage with having to wear a mask. It’s stupid and if you read between the lines you’ll just discover right wing libertarian propaganda. I on the other hand am forgetful and lazy. I don’t have a mask with me and I refuse to buy those cheap ones which break after five minutes and end up in a landfill. There was talk about six weeks ago of the environmental damage already obvious from one use face masks and PPE but that seems to have been brushed under the already bulging carpet. It always comes down to money, profit and ease but why can’t people just be persuaded to spend the same amount of money on one reusuable mask as they do one pack of ten ultimately disposable ones. We’re unable to use a washing machine and look after ourselves again. And none of that even goes into the socioeconomic arguments of how something deemed mandatory with added stigma should never cost money, even if just three pounds.

I actually have a face mask. A friend gave me an old sleeve of a tshirt and it works perfectly. When I finally remember to take it with me I’ll just use this. At the same time while I appreciate their use I find it frustrating that it has taken us six months to make it some kind of necessity. In those six months the virus was rampant and we start using them once it has died down. There will be reasons for this such as prioritising their use for nurses but with such flip flopping of advice, delays in making decisions and even once a decision was made, not having it come into affect until two weeks later; it is understandable why people are sceptical or just simply confused.

I am an ignorant arsehole for not wearing one despite the fact it makes total sense that they must help slow the spread of this virus. Surely that is undeniable even if it is minuscule. There is also a part of me that continues to feel it a necessity not to do something if the norm is to do it through fear of the wrath of my vigilante peers. It isn’t an attack upon my liberties to have to wear one but it does feel that just ever so slightly if I’m being judged by people, or guiltily imagining I am, by people who a week ago didn’t wear a mask but now do because of some government law that isn’t actually a law, it’s all about the wording with this lot, that I just want to give the finger to them all. At the same time there’s probably an argument for me to just grow up and wear a mask because the rest of this nonsense is all in my head and to wear one may just help protect someone I care about or someone somebody else cares about. It shouldn’t be so difficult really. But it still is, even though I actually don’t care either way whether I wear one or not. Maybe I should just go find that sleeve mask and be done with it. Let’s not have a series of pieces which just devolve into me having an argument with myself and result in nothing bar hypocrisy and flawed rationale on both sides. Let’s be honest, nobodies right and everybody’s wrong.

BJ Bojo In Big No No

07/04/2020 Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

It appears our glorious leader has found himself stricken with virus. That came as quite a shock for many I imagine, I know it was for me. In my lifetime at least there has never been a moment in which our Prime Minister’s life has been on the line. Leaders don’t fight at the heads of armies any more, generally I’m of the persuasion they mostly don’t do much bar talk a lot though. It is utterly remarkable to think our own Prime Minister may die from this. It evoked a strange and surprising response in me actually; I felt a sadness that my leader was in danger. That is strange on many levels but mainly because I don’t see him as my leader and secondly because I don’t really see anyone or appreciate the concept of anyone being my leader. I thought I was above that. There was though definitely an emotive response within me and it shocked me, I was genuinely surprised I had these thoughts somewhere within.

You would not have heard me at 8pm though clapping on or for him. I haven’t been clapping for anyone actually. I do generally avoid these types of group activity for what I feel should be an obvious reason. For me to clap for Boris then would be no less hypocritical than someone who voted Tory clapping for an NHS nurse. Ultimately as a human being I hope he survives, my god the poor man must be terrified, but that doesn’t automatically make him a good man. While some may try to equate him to Churchill it mustn’t ever be forgotten he is partly responsible for the suffering of innocent people in this country, people have died because of the actions of his party and the votes he cast. The irony being that his life is now dependent upon the very service he has participated in stripping of it’s ability to operate these last ten years. Yet it survives.

When he first got ill I’m not afraid to admit that I didn’t believe it. There is still a part of me sceptical about this but I’m not sure how much I believe myself anymore. Apparently he is in intensive care but is still working and running the country; surely though either he is in intensive care or still working and running the country. It can’t be both. This is a government accused in the past of an horrendous lack of transparency and they’ve seemingly stuck to form in this moment when it’s completely unnecessary. For what reason do they feel they are unable to admit the true severity of his illness. I simply do not understand why it would be a problem. People are dying everywhere, the days of having a tough fighting leader are behind us, we don’t need him to wield an axe. It is perfectly okay for him to be sick but they’ve done everything they can to downplay his sickness. The country isn’t going to descend into the bad type of anarchy just because Boris Johnson is ill. Surely it would garner sympathy and with it support.

Anyway beyond the politics I wish him well. I will never gloat about the sickness and pain of others and I hope it hasn’t come across like that here. Come on then Big B you get better pal.

End of Year Hypocrisy

31/12/2019 Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Tomorrow is another year and like many people I will also be rather self-indulgently posting my New Years resolutions somewhere online hoping that they’ll somehow be so interesting and important that people will read them and take notice. It surely is a symptom of modern day society, social media and upbringings that tell us we’re somehow great and worthy in every way that creates phenomena like this. Why the hell would people be interested in what I have planned for next year, how much cake and pies I’ll be cutting out and how definitely I’ll be going straight to the gym in the morning and not leaving until this time next year. Throw in all the positive affirmations and you’ve got the recipe for self-indulged vomit. Naturally then as I said I will be doing these very things too.

Why is it then that when we know something is not good for us we still continue to do it anyway. That of course includes the pies and cakes, or the sitting on the sofa when we know we should be outside listening to power music and running, but it also includes forcing others to endure our attempts to revolve the earth and all it has created around ourselves. People don’t have to go on social media and read or watch what we have to say that is granted but we do, our lives now are so intertwined it is hard to escape it, so unconsciously we endure it.

Saying that I did fleetingly discuss New Years resolutions with one of my cousins over Christmas and they raised the important point that they are ways to focus the mind on our intentions for the year ahead. I probably paraphrase her badly but that is roughly what she had to say. I suspect also that she doesn’t feel the need to tell the world about her intentions for next year which in a way makes it a far more personal and in my eyes acceptable approach. I can’t wait to be a hypocrite tomorrow, I almost feel like apologising in advance. I won’t though.

I don’t know whats up with me today. My plan had been to dissect how I thought this writing experiment had gone so far, and highlight the intimidating fact that I’ve got over three hundred pieces still to write. Instead a hypocritical rant about New Years resolutions ensued. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never bothered with them before and my first time is going to be in such a public setting that I felt uncomfortable enough about it to preemptively express my disdain for my own future actions. But then maybe it’s important for some people to see others resolutions as it strengthens their own resolve that they’re too on the right track. God damn it why can’t the world ever be black and white just this once. Why must life be that beautiful shade of empathetic grey we have to compassionately endure on a daily basis. And yes you spell it with an e.