What then is an emotion?

It turns out that emotions are not straight forward things. Perhaps instinctively we imagine them to be such things as anger, sadness, happiness, fear, joy et al. And it turns out likely that would be an acceptable initial if somewhat abstract understanding. Acceptable that is until you discover there is always a beyond the obvious.

For the eighteenth and early nineteenth century empiricists like Hume and Locke, the mind was a single field of thought and feeling, fully conscious and transparent to itself. This mind was made up of visual, auditory, and tactile impressions, and distinct ideas which were the product of these impressions. Or as Hume put it, “like players in a theatre who successively make their appearance, pass, repass, glide away, and mingle in an infinite variety of postures and situations”. These early ideas were later dismissed. The suggestion emotions were just these pure and simple things floating around waiting to come together before dissipating again was deemed flawed. It missed the point that emotions are not stand alone boxable feelings but unique and unrepeatable; the mind, the body, the moment are never twice the same. A unique amalgamation of everything if you wish.

From the late nineteenth century a philosophising psychologist called William James decided, and incidentally this is apparently still a respected idea in the psychology world, a statement that needs checking and confirming beyond one verbal source, that emotions were the result of bodily physiological sensations. What this means is that were we to see a bear in a forest, our body would react, for example our legs might go weak and our hearts beat wildly, and this would trigger the emotion of fear within us. While undoubtedly reactions on a physical level play a role in emotions, to claim those bodily feelings create the emotions doesn’t hold up when challenged with the fact our legs feel weak and our heart beat increases when we go for a run. In that circumstance the feeling of fear is generally not the emotion people feel. The fact physically you feel the same feelings when you experience love, fear and exercise explains why this stance in itself is not widely held in contemporary thought.

From here we move into more accepted ideas of emotions, the main two being judgements and perceptions. They state that we see the bear, make an evaluative judgement of the situation, feel the emotion and have a suitable physical response, or that after seeing the bear we have an emotional and physical response based upon how we perceive the situation to be. This being philosophy neither are fool proof. If we were to be standing behind guard rails looking over the edge of a cliff we may still feel fear despite the fact we have made the rational judgement that we are not in danger of falling over. We have a contradictory emotional response to how we have assessed the situation. This argument could be used for fear of household British spiders too. It is important to mention though that evaluative judgements are ever forming and not just made in the moment. Proponents in the perceptual model would suggest we feel fear as we look over the precipice because we can perceive the inherent danger, an argument which frankly holds up a lot better. Unlike the judgemental model which deals with the rational and irrational, the perceptual approach is arational. When they have to explain non-human animal and infant human emotions both struggle to justify their positions as neither beasts nor babies have the required language to make evaluative judgements nor, and this is very debatable, the cognitive abilities to have an instinctive perceptual reaction. This point definitely needs further investigation though.

Two thoughts that came up after todays seminar were whether we can have an unconscious emotion, for example feelings of pain in the neck or ache in the head are symptoms of the emotion of stress, yet we may be completely unaware we’re stressed or anxious about anything. Are we unconscious in that moment of the emotion or just unaware of it from a cognitive perspective. Is this emotion a physical feeling only. If we’re unaware of this emotion then it stands to say we’re not consciously aware of it and so unconscious of it, yet unconscious seems like too strong a word.

The second thought was whether perception is just an evaluation or judgement made at an earlier time. Do we perceive danger in the bear because long ago we made the judgement that bears are dangerous. We may make the judgement in the moment that the bear on the other side of the valley could do us harm but likely won’t and so we’re in little to no danger, yet we still feel the emotion of fear. We arguably perceive the possibility of danger, the danger we judged bears can inflict when we learnt bears as dangerous. My dog would likely also feel this danger but it’s doubtable a baby would, and arguably neither would a puppy.

This is as far as week one has really got. There was also mention of something called the Common Sense Theory which is that you see the bear, something cognitive happens, you feel the suitable emotion and have a bodily physiological reaction. Unfortunately in philosophy common sense seems to infer not suitably complicated and therefore deeply flawed so this theory only ever seems to be granted a couple of sentences at most. There has been a bit regarding recalcitrant emotions, which are emotions that conflict with judgements and likely perceptions but these will be the focus of the material in weeks two and three. Their existence was touched upon but just to bring an awareness to something that appears to sow difficulties in all the theories. This will become clear. As will hopefully a further and clearer understanding of what is very much a base and slightly confused understanding of the few concepts so far. Seemingly the philosophy of emotions is yet to find a generally held coherent argument. Arguably there’s something in all the perspectives and undoubtedly emotions consist of a combination of sensations, experiences, perceptions and judgements. Perhaps the truth simply lies in some as yet undiscovered or unmeasurable perspective and understanding. As yet of course.

The Barrier Of Conditions

“Those who prefer their principles over their happiness, they refuse to be happy outside the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness.”

It’s always nice to start with some Camus. These French (-Algerian) intellectuals really knew how to get people thinking and living. So thinking we must do. What conditions have we attached to our own happiness then. A momentary chance for some introspective thought perhaps. If we are honest with ourselves we will see the conditions we either try to live by or aspire to. If we are willing to take that further we may just accept an imbalance between the desire to achieve an idea over allowing happiness to happen. How much of this then is influenced by our habitual responses to moments and life. The conditions we set on life are nothing but ideas and learned responses to moments. We are fixed. If we create these conditions, or we have these conditions created for us and we accept them as such, and either refuse or are unable to view any other version of happiness, we likely set ourselves up for failure.

If there is anything this year has taught it’s that being fixed and not being able to look beyond our narrow ideas of future and desire will only lead to our own suffering. I doubt there are many people out there currently who have managed to live the exact version of 2020 as they had foreseen and hoped for when the first of January ding donged into existence. Most people are either working from home, still furloughed, back in their workplace or redundant. Had anyone here not been able to accept this change then they would suffer. Their previous conditions of happiness would be impossible to achieve. Habits have had to change.

This can only be a good thing. One benefit of immigration as people come from different cultures they view the one they’re entering with a fresh perspective. Those who live within their own culture are more likely to view their world as normal and in that case how it should be, this is just the way it is both good and bad. People see what is missing because they bring part of what is normal for them with them. They see a hole with fresh eyes, fill it and changed the habitual structure of society. The populace embrace this but fear it too.

Will what we are experiencing do similar. The circumstances and events are different, it is unlikely to be about people entering a society as our miserable little island appears more closed off than ever before, but there will be tangible changes which may only become evident in a few years. What is the point of principles if they’re so limiting as to restrict any possibility of happiness. We are living in what appears to be increasingly evolving conditions and how we deal with that will determine how we move forward as a society and individually. Habitual flexibility and happiness may just turn out to be one and the same after all.

A Bad World With Negative News

I read an article last night about the future of schooling in the UK in regards the consequences of Covid-19. It was after I had written yesterdays piece on returning to schools and the possibility of fines for those who don’t, otherwise it would have been included in the article. I thought of writing about it today though but I won’t. I won’t for two reasons, a quite important one being that while my gut feeling from what I read was that they were teaching this generation a certain necessity to be controlled and it scared me, I can’t find the article or remember exactly what it was that made me feel so worried. The other is that today I feel a bit tired of writing these pieces damning some politician, political party or whatever example of systemic corruption that takes my fancy. I will again for sure but today my mind is in a different place.

Why then do we keep coming back to these articles which do nothing but confirm our understanding that the world is a corrupt and bullshit place. The obvious would be that we’re searching for some kind of confirmation or negative bias. We hear of research that social media companies use suggesting we’re drawn to and spend more time responding and reacting to bad news over good. There’s also the instinctive scared animal within us which is constantly on the look out for danger in our quest for survival. My direct experience of the world is not that it’s a dangerous place, quite the opposite, of course that is just my experience not one representative of anyone else or any collective group.

My view of the world through my news, political and social internet search history is an alarmingly different one to what I have seen through my eyes. Don’t get me wrong I have seen some shocking things in my life but proportionally these are but a fraction of the overall experience. What keeps drawing us back then to following a different vision of the world. Perhaps we know that there is more out there than our small bubble, maybe we just want to. There is a chance we just want some more excitement in our lives. Could these bad world experiences draw us in because we’re actually collectively deep down unhappy and they appeal to that. Certainly I’m online less and care less about world events – football aside – when I’m having fun, travelling and living more in the moment. There just seems to be something unhealthy about it all. The news has not all of a sudden become a negative thing but we now have a constant live stream of it and with their need to keep our focus, there surely can be little beneficial about it. With that in mind I’ve just had an idea. I will avoid the news and therefore my Facebook feed too for the next ten days and see not only how I feel but what it forces me to come up with on here. Oh god, I’m getting the shakes already. What have I done?!

What Could Have Been

The one important thing to remember when we’re worrying or being down on ourselves is that we’re not alone. While our lives are unique there are similarities with others; we’ve all loved or hated someone, worried about something that has been fine or has been a complete failure, regretted doing or not doing things, enjoyed our own company and been painfully bored, and so on and so on. Emotional similarities are easier to point to because we can all say we’ve experienced a moment of happiness. This happiness is comparative to less happy moments in our lives and we’ve all experienced happier and comparatively less happier moments. I imagine me running down the beach is not unique but also not everyone has done this. We can always shape a feeling to fit.

Today then I experienced the emotion of regret. I regretted an inaction in my past and the course my life has taken as a result. I was listening to a podcast with a chef and a restaurant owner discussing cooking, food, techniques, food as art etc and I remembered a desire I had when I was about sixteen to become a chef and open a restaurant in Dublin. That was my plan. I’ve persuaded myself that the only reason I didn’t do it was because I was persuaded against it, that life as a chef is volatile and hard work. In reality there are an infinite number of reasons life didn’t take that course, one of them being that I just did something else. But I felt regret, that I should have done that instead of whatever I did do. I can admit this because like I said, we’ve all experienced the same emotion and probably a few out there over that exact scenario.

The truth is though that the mind plays many tricks on us and in this case I craved an idea. It is nothing more than an idea, and worse than that it’s a fantasy of an idea. We imagine this situation, what could have been and it’s always perfect. Life isn’t necessarily bad, I have it good in many ways but like everyone we have days which vary in degrees of satisfaction. In times like today we fantasise, but that’s all it is, it’s a fantasy and it’s not real. I then later dreamt of being a writer and after that an actor.

I don’t say any of this in a bad way, as I write this I don’t feel sad. Of course what ifs are not always fun and don’t always signify positivity but they’re just examples of one version out of an infinite versions of possible realities. We also don’t know whether we would have survived in that version, perhaps I would have had a heart attack by now from all the rich restaurant food I was eating. I would probably be much fatter than I am, but as a chef I would also be on a steady diet of amphetamines so that would have probably cut my appetite considerably. It’s fun to explore these moments but also not worth taking them too seriously. There’s a reason we never made it happen then and despite the fantasising now, there’s a reason we’re not rushing off to do it anytime soon. And it’s not likely because we can’t.

Chasing That Vitamin D

The sun came out today and it was magnificent. Actually the sun has been out for about a month but it was also a massive fifteen degrees which makes it almost feel like you’re somewhere exotic. Having spent years chasing the sun a younger version of me would have scoffed at my excitement but a younger version of me hadn’t just spent the whole winter in this bizarre, dark and wet land. This undoubtedly plays it’s part and can be compared to that time when I lived in Ibiza and it rained for the first time in six months. I felt unadulterated joy and happiness, similar I imagine to a farmer in the Sudan. Actually a little less because I wasn’t starving, in the poorest country in Africa and relying on that rain to survive so it literally wasn’t the same, but I can say with certainty it was somewhere between there and how I would feel if it started raining now.

The moment I realised I was experiencing a form of happiness was then I was sitting in my car, the fifteen degrees needed a little boost. I could feel the sun shining on my arm and after a while I could feel the heat building, I was cooking a little and I felt the vitamin D coursing through my body. It was the strangest sensation but I could feel the joy emanating from that spot. It was at this moment that I realised I was less content about being here and not somewhere warm than I suggested about a week ago. Don’t get me wrong nothing has fundamentally changed but I definitely started craving just hanging out of the beach, drinking some beer, eating some food, napping, the typical things people do. It was at this point I started imagining I could happily visit Costa Rica of all places. I have heard talk of it previously so this wasn’t entirely out of the blue but it was definitely a nice little fantasy that managed to take me away from the present for a bit. Interestingly enough it was when the sun came out that I wanted to leave and not throughout the whole of the winter. Our minds are confusing little pests sometimes.

I wonder what summer is going to be like here. I’m in a little touristy area beside the beach and arguably it’s what I’m after just not quite the foreign version I’m used to. My friend was horrified I was drinking beer on the beach the other day as apparently it’s illegal. I suggested he need to sort his life out. He said the same to me. Costa Rica it is not but when I imagine people stuck in blocks of flats in big cities right now I realise once again how bloody lucky I am and how in truth I don’t long for anything other than what I’ve managed to find myself. I forget to see what surrounds me sometimes. We all do. I don’t beat myself up over it, it’s just good to remember and notice sometimes. South Sudan it is not. In fact, arguably it is somewhere between there and well, anywhere. At least it’s somewhere.

A Disciplined Ramble

Life is funny. Life is full of surprises. We think we have it all worked out and then something comes along to remind us we have no idea. We have no control. I have been criticised in the past for just going with what comes in front of me and forgetting everything else and in some ways there is validity in that. Living in the moment is great, being present is real but so are things that you can’t see. But then there is also a lot to be said about going with whatever twists and turns life’s rollercoaster throws at you. Part of that is embracing the good things that come up but with that we must also embrace the struggles. It may feel like what you are faced with, whatever daunting prospect you see blocking your way, is inhibiting you and preventing you from finding happiness but we never know what series of events will unfold because of it. Maybe, just maybe, something will come into our life that brings some happiness but that thing wouldn’t have had those more negative events first not come. It is important to remember this when we feel everything is lost. I could relate this to the virus, but I could very easily relate it to something else, or anything in fact. It’s just nice to discover something positive from events which haven’t turned out as we originally thought they might.

I haven’t re-read that but what a ramble I imagine it was. It’s been a long day and i’m already into the next. The early hours of the morning. This isn’t going to be a vintage piece and it’s another day of learning more about discipline. It’s genuinely interesting, for me at least, to see how natural and easy it is to write each day now. I’m so tired, it’s 2am and I really want to sleep but I’m here writing this. It can’t be that far off six months I’ve written every day. Every bloody day despite what has been going on around me. It might not always be exciting for you but fuck, it’s amazing what not wanting to have a public fail will force a person to do. What is interesting though is that I have seen changes in my daily approach to things. While I still have idle moments if I need to focus my energy on something undoubtedly I am far more capable of it that in the past. I genuinely think I have learnt and become a more disciplined man in my everyday life from this. From forcing myself to write no matter what. Habits are everything. Just imagine what kind of an enlightened being I’ll be in another six months. Look out world.

The Present & Desire

I was thinking today about finding balance in life. I’ve probably mentioned it before but it always appears to be something that alludes me. In one moment I’m dropping everything and running off on an adventure, and the next I’m craving the stability offered from a home that if I’m honest I’ll struggle to create because I’m always running off on the adventures I yearn for after too long in a stable home like environment. Now either that’s an inability to find balance between the two or it’s an example of someone not being happy with what they’ve got and always believing the green happiness grass is just around the other corner. It’s also just an example of someone who wants it all, and probably another few examples of all sorts of things. For the sake of this though lets stick to the idea that I am unable to find the required level of balance.

There once was a time in life that like everyone else I believed that if I just did, saw, bought, met, went to x, y, z then happiness would be sure to follow. I was not conscious of that belief but certainly it was unconsciously there playing a part in my decision making. I am not suggesting for a second I’m some enlightened being who has managed to rise above such things because I still crave all those things in my own little pursuit of happiness but am aware that with their receipt I won’t be taken around some magical corner that happiness was simply hiding behind. It is also probably most likely that accepting this will bring me closer, as well as not actually looking for it in the first place, but as I love missing the point in the moment and clearly only know it intellectually I’ll continue this self-defeating quest.

By not constantly imagining the answer is around some instant corner nobody has ever seen let alone looked around, we must surely stop craving these extreme changes in life, such as finding the answer in some foreign land or by the hearth. Importantly also it takes away from the present, in that you’re neither in the foreign land or at home if your mind is always looking out for some hypothetical feeling of happiness it imagines it should be experiencing. You forget to actually enjoy the place you’ve made the effort to go to or the contentment and security of home when you take the time to relax. I suspect were we to enjoy these things properly we may stop craving them so much when we don’t have them anymore. Have you ever drunk that last mouthful of coffee without realising before looking in the cup to find there is no more and feeling unsatisfied. Compare that to really taking the time to enjoy and appreciate that last mouthful; you are content with what you’ve had, you feel satisfied. Why would life on a larger scale be any different.

Trumps Misery

I was thinking a little more about what I said yesterday about why people act in ways seemingly detrimental to others, such as assassinating a leader despite the inevitable risks of what will follow. I mentioned Donald Trump and how he just wants to be happy and I will elaborate on that further. It is also worth mentioning the two big events coming up in American politics which could explain why such aggressive and dangerous actions in search of happiness were undertaken.

Firstly there is nothing quite like a war to give someone a boost in the polls ahead of an election. Trump himself warned Barack Obama was going to attack Iran just prior to the elections in 2012 so as to boost his chances of re-election. It’s a time honoured tradition by leaders and it appears Trump has simply fulfilled his own premonition with the 2020 election coming up. Secondly there is the small issue of him being impeached. While invading a foreign country, going to war or just making the move they did will not make impeachment proceedings go away, they will certainly draw some of the attention away from them. Theres the old adage of look for what they’re not reporting and it’s very easy to hide some bad news with something exciting, triumphant and reportable, it certainly takes the heat away from his current ordeal at home.

None of that takes away from my statement that he just wants to be happy because both of these incidents if played out as he would desire should give greater opportunity for some element of happiness in his life. However it is never as simple as that and it’s now that we try to find a way to describe that approach to life while avoiding using words like wrong or unacceptable, as ultimately that is my version of morality and a discussion on some kind of universal morality is probably best saved for another time. Such behaviour though is certainly selfish, self-serving and uncaring. If somebody acts in a way which is uncaring and destructive then it is not far fetched to suggest they are born out of anger and unhappiness. Trump may just want to be happy, which is looking compassionately at his actions, but if it is the negative emotions inside of him driving his actions then it will only lead to further negative emotions for himself and others no matter how much happiness and gold he believes lie in wait. Actions like yesterdays assassination are nothing more than another moment in the perpetual cycle of misery for people like this. While that may be his trip, the problem as is clearly evident, is that when someone on such a bad trip holds such power, it is impossible for us not to be dragged into it and into his reality. Unless we can separate ourselves, difficult though it is, our search for happiness will involve nothing other than being dragged into a world of fear, paranoia, misery and pain, because make no doubt about it; that fat cunt has it all.

New Years Resolutions

Happy New Year, it’s another year and another decade. The imagery of 2020 alone should get people excited. I’m also a day late but I wanted to talk about something else yesterday and prefer doing things my own way anyway. I hope people are more excited about the prospect of a new year than the horror of a new year – are we excited to leave the grim realities of 2019 behind us or terrified of their continuation. It’s been a good year so far politically as Scott from Marketing has been berated and run out of town for his disdain for and inactivity helping victims of the bushfires in Australia. Still no link with or acknowledgment that climate change may be connected or even a real thing as his bosses in the mining industry instructed him. There was a great moment in the video where he tries to shake hands with a woman who refuses so he grabs her hand and shakes it as the cameras start snapping away. We live in a truly corrupt world. I’m looking forward to Boris from Events similarly being run out of town somewhere over here in the next six to twelve months.

My plan for today was to talk about New Year Resolutions but as you can see from above I’ve already digressed and used up half my word count in the process. I had a small rant the other day about this particular topic and while I stand by it, I also stand by the fact this is a grey area and many people find credible benefits from such actions. It’s just a shame there’s so many others out there inspiring vomit instead.

I suspect I will have four resolutions this year. I’m not sure if that is too many or not enough as this is my first time and a new experience. None of them are that ground breaking either but then I’m not unique and I imagine if you break down all resolutions they’re all roughly the same thing.

Firstly like everyone else who feels like shit after Christmas I’m going to get fit. I have been putting it off for a while as I’m still nursing an old jiu jitsu injury. Sounds heroic until I admit I hurt my shoulder doing a forward roll in the warm up of the one class I attended. I will go back to this and also do some yoga. I love telling people I am yoga teacher because I once did a month long training course in India but all that makes me is a cliche. It does mean I am capable of practising on my own though so have little excuse for not especially when I understand it’s benefits. It’s the mornings I struggle with but apparently that gets easier with practise. Perhaps I can use some of the discipline required to do this each day. I’m only thirty-four and feel sore, more than I should at this age.

This links in with resolution number two which is to sort my diet out. I was discussing with a cousin over Christmas about joint pains and she was suggesting that cutting gluten out has reduced these pains in people she knows. I’m not suggesting I’m going to dive into some kind of gluten intolerance hysteria but it does show how important diet can be for overall physical health. How energised we feel, physical recovery, overall health – diet plays a role in all of this, just as exercise does of course. There is no golden rule for all with diet, something people always seem to miss the point of, but it is important to discover what really works for us.

One thing that sometimes prevents me from making the most of my time is that like many people the world over I’m suffering from addictions. In regards diet, certainly consumption of sugar needs addressing but for resolution number three it is time I addressed the procrastinating opportunities social media and constant access to online nonsense through my phone has. In mornings I don’t often do yoga or get started properly with my day because I spend an hour checking out whats going on in the world of football – a soap opera for men – and I apologise for the gender stereotyping but it’s a stereotype for a reason. Phones allow for procrastination and we waste so much time in the day as a result. There have been times in the past that I have intentionally gone the full day without using technology, and by evening I have run out of things to do I have been so busy. Like giving up smoking I will use the approach that when I immediately think of going online for no other reason than habit and addiction, I will give it five minutes and then if I still want to I will. It works with cigarettes, why not with other addictions too.

And finally I resolve to make something decent out of this blog. I doubt I’ve done over sixty posts yet which means I have over three hundred to go. It is daunting but also shows how much opportunity for learning and practise is still ahead. Doing this every day will always give opportunity for fluff days in which I have little time or am hungover but to make the most of it means I really need to be strict and mentally disciplined, try new things and push myself. Today I read an interesting article in the Guardian by Max Rushden on Bobby Madley, just as I had written yesterday about him. It was better researched and partly as a result better written. It was interesting to see and very useful to be able to compare the two, there are always opportunities to learn if we’re willing. I also want to step back to some of my original intentions such as answering philosophical questions from my Philosophy Now magazines which I haven’t even attempted, poetry or something similarly creative which I haven’t even contemplated and I just thought yesterday that maybe I should try a book review, so theres one of those coming when I finish my current book on how to utilise fear. These things are not always possible when limiting yourself to a small word count of four to five hundred, and while that has it’s benefits there is always scope for flexibility. Seeing as this piece is over one thousand words, and the only one over six hundred so far I am clearly happy to break my own rules.

It is clear to say that there was nothing really groundbreaking in any of my resolutions, but then there never are with these kinds of things. I also had to rush through them without any real details but it gives you the gist and the point as previously mentioned is to allow people the opportunity to realise there are many others out there struggling with the same things. Hopefully to know we are not alone gives a certain strength of resolve. I also just realised that resolutions means to find new solutions and resolve to find new ways to solve – in this case how we approach and live our lives. We are forever attempting to solve the riddle of life – these new solutions for a new year.