BJ Bojo In Big No No

It appears our glorious leader has found himself stricken with virus. That came as quite a shock for many I imagine, I know it was for me. In my lifetime at least there has never been a moment in which our Prime Minister’s life has been on the line. Leaders don’t fight at the heads of armies any more, generally I’m of the persuasion they mostly don’t do much bar talk a lot though. It is utterly remarkable to think our own Prime Minister may die from this. It evoked a strange and surprising response in me actually; I felt a sadness that my leader was in danger. That is strange on many levels but mainly because I don’t see him as my leader and secondly because I don’t really see anyone or appreciate the concept of anyone being my leader. I thought I was above that. There was though definitely an emotive response within me and it shocked me, I was genuinely surprised I had these thoughts somewhere within.

You would not have heard me at 8pm though clapping on or for him. I haven’t been clapping for anyone actually. I do generally avoid these types of group activity for what I feel should be an obvious reason. For me to clap for Boris then would be no less hypocritical than someone who voted Tory clapping for an NHS nurse. Ultimately as a human being I hope he survives, my god the poor man must be terrified, but that doesn’t automatically make him a good man. While some may try to equate him to Churchill it mustn’t ever be forgotten he is partly responsible for the suffering of innocent people in this country, people have died because of the actions of his party and the votes he cast. The irony being that his life is now dependent upon the very service he has participated in stripping of it’s ability to operate these last ten years. Yet it survives.

When he first got ill I’m not afraid to admit that I didn’t believe it. There is still a part of me sceptical about this but I’m not sure how much I believe myself anymore. Apparently he is in intensive care but is still working and running the country; surely though either he is in intensive care or still working and running the country. It can’t be both. This is a government accused in the past of an horrendous lack of transparency and they’ve seemingly stuck to form in this moment when it’s completely unnecessary. For what reason do they feel they are unable to admit the true severity of his illness. I simply do not understand why it would be a problem. People are dying everywhere, the days of having a tough fighting leader are behind us, we don’t need him to wield an axe. It is perfectly okay for him to be sick but they’ve done everything they can to downplay his sickness. The country isn’t going to descend into the bad type of anarchy just because Boris Johnson is ill. Surely it would garner sympathy and with it support.

Anyway beyond the politics I wish him well. I will never gloat about the sickness and pain of others and I hope it hasn’t come across like that here. Come on then Big B you get better pal.

19 Covid’s Of Hell For PM BJ Bojo Johnson

Big news today, our glorious leader has gone and got a dose…of coronavirus silly, what did you think I was talking about. In a vain effort to be a man of the people, British Prime Minister Boris ‘Bojo’ Johnson has caught a cold. All is well though because he’s still running the country from Downing Street but now in his underpants via video link. The Prime Minister, or BJ as he’s known to his friends, is said to be in a fine mood as he believes this will finally convince the voters he’s willing to suffer with them no matter what and that his private chef has even begun cooking traditional peoples food like mushy peas and Fray Bentos pies just to lend an air of authenticity to proceedings. He is said to be really looking forward to microwave curry Wednesdays after his old friend Tim Martin donated leftover food to the coronavirus cause. He has drawn the line though at the bottle of Jacob’s Creek on offer even if it is part of a meal deal. He is said to be disappointed that his Supreme Overlord Dominic Cummings doesn’t have DNA capable of catching human virus’ as they could have had a “jolly good sleepover together”. His loyal and trusted colleague Micheal Gove has taken over media duties and promised to do all in his power to protect BJ’s legacy in the meantime.

So that’s the news, wow what a day. Is it time to start preparing for the military to take over once the politicians start dropping? Apparently Dominic Raab is supposed to be the one putting on the dour serious face if BJ becomes incapacitated. We’ll call him the interim Prime Minister before General Stickup His-Arse steps in to maintain public order. Apparently the sports stadiums are empty at the moment which should be handy. Let’s see how many people need their daily dog walk then. We won’t even need to report on our neighbours for that second run they took either. Isn’t it Great being British, such a wonderful people. Spirit of the Blitz don’t you know. We’ll show those Europeans how we deal with virus’, won’t be any red tape on our procedures, can’t break the law if there aren’t any. Thank god for the NHS though. These nurses putting their lives at risk is the kind of dedication that will easily add a few hundred million extra quid when we’re sitting around the negotiation table with the Americans. If there are any left though, they seem to be out Briting the Brits with their virus response. Always bigger and brasher than everyone else. Pricks.