I was hoping to think of something deep, intellectual, philosophical and meaningful to write about but I ate a pizza tonight and my stomach hurts. I can’t stop farting. It’s insane. Thankfully I enjoy and am a fan of a good fart so there is at least this pleasure to go with the pain in my stomach. The same thing happened last weekend after I had been eating pizza for a couple of day so I can only imagine it is the pizza. Saying that I had no problem the previous two weekends when I ate pizza the whole time. Maybe it has built up. It could be the onions and I will try one without them and without the sauce. If not I may have to face up to the horror that would be some kind of intolerance to the base. That would be an absolute nightmare. To make pizzas and not be able to eat them. It would nearly be as bad as having to tell people I’m gluten intolerant and watch as their faces change to disdain. A total nightmare all round.
I’m reading a book at the moment on the gut. I read this bit a few days ago and may have forgotten details but an intolerance is where the body can’t break down something in the food, it reaches the lymph glands or something like that and the body goes into overdrive trying to expel it because it thinks it is being attacked. Basically this is my body fighting back because it can’t deal with something I’ve ingested. It’s like when you get a fever this is the body increasing in temperature so as to kill any bacteria or virus within in, making itself inhospitable to survive in. Of course this feels rather unpleasant to us but it is worth remembering that this is actually a good sign. My body has decided to make itself inhospitable to something then. Fuck. I love food and I can’t think of anything worse than not being able to eat anything and everything I want. Maybe that’s the problem. A life without edible pleasures, a life less lived.
I don’t think it would be great to take what I said as fact in the last paragraph because I may have got it slightly confused with lactose intolerance which is about being unable to breakdown the lactose in dairy but the purge and inhospitable bodies isn’t far wrong. I’ve just drunk a cup of warm boiled water which seems to have helped somewhat. If in doubt just drink boiled water. I’m quite thirsty too and I’ve puffed up ever so slightly, not much but I’m a little pink. And just like that my dreams of a pizza empire have fallen flat. Could be for the best though because three days of eating pizzas each weekend is hardly going to do me any favours in the belly stakes, or heart either. Did you know when the body absorbs fats and oil they don’t go through the liver and kidneys like everything else to be filtered but instead bypass everything and go straight to the heart. That is a little worrying. Thirty four years old now. Already lost one friend my age to a heart attack. These things are serious. Maybe it’s time for the wholegrain pizza instead.
Observations and Misunderstandings 