Tag: delivery driver

A Heroes Welcome

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

As I drove through the small village near my home at about five minutes past eight this evening I noticed people had lined the street and started clapping as I approached. It’s good to have my existence celebrated finally. The strange thing is that having stopped their 8pm clap for carers session, some actually clapped in my direction as I drove by. I was in a delivery van so I wonder if they saw me as some kind of hero putting my life on the line to deliver them their bread. Still, I just drove on. I did contemplate hooting the horn as I drove through but I didn’t want to play along with whatever it is they’re doing. To be completely honest, I think the whole things a charade and it’s stupid. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure there are some exhausted and not to mention ill nurses out there and I appreciate and respect them for doing what their doing, there’s just something empty about this whole clapping show. Each Thursday at 8pm people line the streets, clap and bang pots. It’s a lovely gesture but I suspect for many it’s hollow.

It’s worth pointing out that were I live in both Northumberland and the Scottish Borders, Tory MPs were voted in to power recently. Perhaps these people banging pots could instead just not vote for them next time. Who gives a shit about what you think if you clap your hands and then vote for the very people who actively weaken those you’re clapping for. The mind numbing hypocrisy just seems lost and maybe that’s the worst part. I want to hang a banner from my window highlighting this but I’m concerned the attention it might draw to the bakery below me may not be ideal. I just want to slap everyone and point out that they’re idiots. There’s too many idiots.

People talk about ten years of Tory government and their ideological attacks on the NHS as being the reason for it’s current struggles but that’s not accurate. Either people have short memories or they’re just playing party politics. While I would trust Jeremy Corbyn with the NHS, I would be curious to know people’s opinions on Tony Blair’s version of a Labour Government. But really we can go back as far as Thatcher and the first real inroads of a neoliberal movement to destroy something that has helped so many. In truth actually we could go all the way back to Nye Bevan and the Tory government he had to fight against to establish the NHS we all love and cherish now. You see, it’s not just ten years of Tory austerity. Or forty years of neoliberalism. These bastards have had it in for free health care since the very beginning. Don’t believe their lies. And if you vote for them, save your breath, and save your effort each Thursday night. If you truly cared for the carers you wouldn’t be voting for that self-serving mob. It’s not bloody hard to understand.

A Delivery Of Bread, Harmony and Brexit

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Today began with an interesting morning of delivering bread. I went along this morning with one of the delivery drivers so I could learn his route in case he ever needs some one to cover him. This driver is an interesting man. Certainly at three o’clock in the morning he was far more chatty than I expected but after I while I managed to warm up and discover the ability to hold conversation. We chatted about a few things but at one point after I told him I had lived in Greece for a few years he asked me what the situation with the immigrants is. Now this kind of question can go one of two ways and it comes from a basis usually of “poor refugees” or “economic migrants we may have to be wary of”. I have found myself in this situation enough times to recognise this and give a general answer about how conditions are terrible there and now I can warn of the dangers of this virus in the camps. If he is inclined to be on the economic migrant side of the debate he doesn’t really get a window into the conversation from that angle and I’m careful not to go full refugee’s need rescuing and help coming to Britain because it opens up the possibilities of pointless arguments I cannot be bothered with.

Inevitably the conversation one way or another led onto politics and down the rabbit hole of nostalgia that Brexit has become. He was confident enough of his beliefs to admit to disliking faceless bureaucrats and being pro-Brexit. I suggested it wasn’t as straightforward as that because unfortunately we have plenty of faceless bureaucrats in the UK, we will soon be the United States’ little bitch and I enjoy living and working in foreign countries. The conversation very quickly got to the point we’ve all recognised before where the next step is basically you saying “No you’re wrong” and him saying “No actually you’re wrong”. For anyone who had one, a Brexit discussion reaches a very quick climax of that exact sort without fail. And you know what, there was something about that moment which I realised I missed.

The chap I was having this debate with was the archetypal northern mid-50s working man, he was even called Dave. That is no word of a lie. I like him he’s a good man and I really enjoyed this conversation about a topic which we’ve all forgotten took over our lives six months ago before we moved onto the killer virus. It was painfully evident that despite society having an enormous hug we’ve still got a long way to go to build bridges and men like Dave are still as determined about their understanding of societies ills as snowflake millennials like me of their opposite.

I still can’t get over how much of the perfect box he fit in and genuinely I’m not saying that as a criticism. I think we all forget in our determination to be right and force our version of right on others that we may just be wrong. It is only in understanding that and that men like Dave are not the enemy but very much on the same team as us that we may actually remove those who have pillaged and offered such little genuine hope to people. Dave hasn’t created this shit show, neither have I although we both continue to allow it’s existence as we wag fingers at each other while having our pockets picked. We talk of this virus bringing us together as a society but if we don’t get over any of the other bullshit we’ll just as quickly become divided down old lines once more. It’ll take us all. If not the old order will have won once again.

Night Shift

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

There are certain jobs that suit different people over others. I’ve done a few bread deliveries over the last month and it is one of those jobs that would be either perfect or a nightmare. Getting up early is a total nightmare of course when you’re not in that rhythm and you end up doing the shift on only three hours sleep but it doesn’t take a lot of thought so you can get by. It is one of those jobs that gives you the opportunity for some peace and quiet as you rarely speak to anyone until a few hours into the shift and even then it’s only a few sentences of routine greetings and jokes. I can imagine there is a certain repetition and they must love it when a new guy comes along. The roads are empty, it is dark, quiet and you have time for yourself. There’s also another world of things and people going on that over time would give opportunity to the most interesting set of stories. Without the interesting random events though it would probably become tedious like any job and if I’m still helping out here in ten years doing this then please somebody come and find me. There’s also the possibility that these interesting stories are only comparatively interesting and are few and far between. From time to time and in the short term though there is something interesting and enjoyable about it, but then you could say that about virtually any job if you were the sort with a curious mind.

I would be interested to know what a night shift stocking shelves in a supermarket would be like. I hope to never find out, let me make that clear, but the curiosity is more that I wonder if I enjoy the van driving at night over the working at night, I suspect I would hate every second of stocking shelves no matter the time of day, or the packing warehouse, or especially the cold outdoor work in the winter. So perhaps it has nothing to do with the night time but more with my fondness for driving around and feeling all warm inside my van. I do prefer the night hours more though. There is also some romanticism going on here and I have always imagined lorry drivers have been the types who love the solitude, the long endless nights and being left alone. In fact I have met a few, I have hitched with a few, and while I can’t confirm they enjoy being left alone they can be total oddballs for sure.

Ultimately it takes a certain type of person to work nights, to work such unsocial hours which seem to conflict with our natural rhythm. I have a lot of respect for nurses and doctors in that case as not only do they work nights but sometimes days too, and even then there shifts are long and intense. People are generally amazing I think is the conclusion and by amazing I mean they are all so varied there is always something to discover. Why we seem so determined to pander to our fears and box everyone away, especially in such enormous generalised boxes is beyond me. There may be jobs out there but try getting everyone to work a night shift unless they love it or are desperate and you can see why people don’t want to just work any job. If people were just given the education to discover there own paths then what an interesting workforce we would have. That and a bit of variety I would imagine.

Exhaustion

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

They say variety is the spice of life. Well they say something is the spice of life but I’m exhausted and exactly what it is doesn’t feel overly important right now. If that is accurate I guess the assumption must be that variety makes life interesting, and keeps you coming back for more, gives you energy and enthusiasm one could say. Variety in the sense of exhaustion, as exhaustion is just another part of life is it not, would suggest that different types of exhaustion make the act or sense of exhaustion interesting and worth repeating, eliciting enthusiasm even. Does exhaustion give you energy in that case? It is said that the more you do; the more you do, and that is not accidental repetition. When people exercise for the first time they may be able to run for five minutes before suffering for a few days and forcing seven minutes out of themselves the next time. Eventually they’re running thirty minutes every day and find themselves more energised throughout the day as a whole. Arguably they’re doing more but feeling less exhaustion, and with it exercise becomes some sort of a paradox.

The point to all this is that today I have experienced some variety in my exhaustive state. I returned from Sheffield last night, slept three hours and went and delivered bread. Let’s just say I was pretty tired by the end but somehow I felt that past tired feeling in which you can’t seem to stop and won’t until you collapse. After about another three hours sleep I went to my kickboxing class and worked hard. Today I sparred with the coach as numbers were odd and while clearly he holds back, he’s still too fast for me and got me with a good uppercut at one point. I was pretty tired during the class because I was working hard and it can be an exhausting sport when you do put the effort in. When I got back to the car I felt pretty happy with myself, post exercise dopamine release or something like that, but I felt energised and could have done more.

I am looking forward to my bed but it is important not to allow exhaustion to stop us from doing things. We are far more capable of finding energy when we have to than what we convince ourselves as we flop onto the sofa and watch a film. When we listen to the idle monster, or the inner bitch as I’ve heard it said, in our mind we do less, and feel like doing less the next time. It’s a vicious spiral, the opposite to the runner improving time and regularity each day. It can be hard but once we train our minds to quit whinging, embrace the new routine and just do it, it is remarkable how quickly it can be easy to do anything which in the past you would convince yourself you were too tired for. The body and mind are incredible things, individually and together, perhaps it may be time to stop wasting them and start making the most of the remarkable things we’re capable of as a species.