Tag: deliveries

A Piece For Posterity

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

When all this is done I’ll probably print these out for myself and save them somewhere. I generally don’t read much of what I’ve written after reading them but one day will sit down and remind myself of how my mind has been thinking this year. I have tried not to just talk about myself and what I’m up to. I’ve tried also not to write too much about politics or whats going on in the world. I thought writing about football could be fun but thought better of doing it here too often. What is interesting about writing everyday though is not necessarily seeing what interests you on a daily basis but seeing what the mind gets caught up on for a period of time.

When Covid-19 started to become a thing I could barely think of anything else to write about for weeks. When our government has been at it’s worst and most corrupt they will be my focus for a week or so. I’ve stopped writing about these people though because their incessant self-serving bullshit provides something new on a daily basis. I’m just bored of being outraged about them, nothing of consequence happens and the following day there’s another scandal that gets brushed under the carpet and forgotten about. Currently I’m perhaps a little too focused on the fact I’m having a little change in my own life.

I mention all this because when I do look back on this one day in the future, I would like to remind myself of today. I moved out. Yesterday I mentioned my hoarding. Today I really discovered that filth can build up in ten months in some hidden places if you’re not regularly cleaning things. I would generally keep on top of things but rarely did I give much a deep clean. Even the fridge was disgusting and genuinely I didn’t even recognise anything until I emptied it and starting cleaning. We simply don’t see things until they’re pointed out, then they become impossible not to see. Why too do we only give flats a good clean when we’re leaving and not able to appreciate living in the cleanliness.

It has been a long day then. I’m back now at my parents for a week as I sort out a few things before heading off. It’ll probably end up being quite busy week here too but a different busy. And I should probably add that I’m also giving this quite uninteresting update because I want to remember the day I was exhausted and discovered late at night just before writing this, having a bath and going to bed, that I accidentally have one of the delivery van keys and I may have to drive over an hour to get it to them. How many times do we leave somewhere or think we’ve finished something and somehow we find ourselves back in it. Even if they do find a spare, which is why it is still ‘may have to’ drive and not definitely drive, I’ll still have to go down tomorrow. This I can live with. It will ruin my first actual day off in months but that is infinitely more tolerable than going off now when I’m struggling to keep my eyes open and can only think of bed. How I love my bed.

A (Future) Learned Techie

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I’m attempting to become a techie. I think that’s how you spell it, I don’t think that’s the word that describes someone who lacks patience and can be a bit pissy. The English language is so confusing sometimes and I have such sympathy for people who try to learn it. Why ie for techie and y for pissy? I’m going to either expose my lack of knowledge or show off but I’m going to say there isn’t a reason it’s just another example of the bizarre and unruly nature of spelling and the English language. As a now retired English teacher I know there is some truth in that but as I’m painfully aware much of my teaching involved winging it so really the true answer could be anything. As I was saying though, I’m going to become a techie, and hopefully not a tetchy one.

A few months ago I started learning how to code. It’s both a mix of frustrating and satisfying, and in that way that you can’t have one without the other. As you get better it probably becomes a little less about working out what you’re supposed to be writing and more about formulating all the knowledge you have in a working way. I’ve heard it said that coding is slightly like learning a language and there is truth in that. Just like successfully asking for and understanding directions to the local train station, seeing your code creating the outcome you’re after, results in pat yourself on the back levels of satisfaction. Admittedly I am still not far beyond the Hello, my name is… and I am from… but we’ve all got to start somewhere.

Fun though it is making pizzas, doing home renovations and driving a bread van around I suspect I will need something else at one point. I seem to have a constant desire to learn new things and with an equally strong one to go to new places, having a way to make money with just a laptop from anywhere in the world seems like an appealing necessity in a way. People would certainly be happier I’m sure if they could find an existence that suits them and how they want to live. I doubt I’ll ever be a nine to five, five days per week kind of person. As I’ve mentioned previously we do have an incredible ability to adapt as a species and while I don’t doubt I could adapt to that way of life I don’t think I really want to. There’s too many other things to do. And do from interesting places. Learning something new again. Always learning something new.

When Will Saturday Come

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It’s Saturday. Thought I would stumble out of bed a little hung over, not too much, just a enough to create edge. Have my breakfast which is more relaxed than the mid week one but fundamentally the same, I leave the dirty sexy breakfast for a Sunday. While eating plan all the semi-productive things I would like to accomplish for the day before leaving for the supermarket, ticking that off the list but being exhausted enough upon return that the list get scrumpled up and thrown in the fire which I made to sit in front of feeling like a wild man as the football results come in. Secretly I’ve quite enjoyed this lockdown, mainly because I’ve not really been locked down I imagine, but there are certain old habits and routines I miss. I enjoyed those semi-busy Saturdays. I long for the return of the football. And I’m currently not in the same house as the fireplace unfortunately. If that all sounds hard then don’t even get me started on the pleasures of a Sunday morning drinking coffee and reading the newspapers as my dog sits beside me and I’m surrounded by countryside. It’s pointless longing for things we cannot have but it’s good to be able to see the things we really value when they’re not there. I quite fancy a pint as well. Don’t give a shit about much us though. Although a holiday would be nice.

I miss my dog. She lives with may parents these days which is good for her because they live in the countryside and it forces them to go on walks everyday. People don’t appreciate the value of pets I don’t think. I can’t see her at the moment though because while I deliver food to my parents, I don’t let her see me because I won’t be staying and she won’t understand why I’m leaving so quickly after coming back. Poor girl. Poor me too. There are going to be some parties when this is all done. It’ll be a while until the pubs are open I reckon and people will be warned off getting together too much too soon but lets be honest, folk are going to go wild. We’re like school children at the best of times let alone when we’ve been stuck inside, away from everyone, sober and being healthy for what must feel like an eternity. I can’t wait for the outcry from the media, front pages of people having fun. Probably the same papers which will be a week earlier pushing for the end of restrictions. Theres nothing like a short memory.

I’m tired today. I was woken up early and now I need to go to work. I’m attempting to write this early now instead of tonight when I get in. It’s strange, sometimes late at night I get my best ideas. Maybe I should give up on being a morning person and accept life as a night owl. They usually seem happy. A little white and sickly maybe, but happy enough. But not tonight, this is certainly not going to be an old Saturday night. When I’m tucked up in my bed before midnight I guarantee there’ll be no nostalgia from me. I love you all. I’ll see you tomorrow. Fresh, awake, invigorated, just like an awful morning person should be.

A Delivery Of Bread, Harmony and Brexit

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Today began with an interesting morning of delivering bread. I went along this morning with one of the delivery drivers so I could learn his route in case he ever needs some one to cover him. This driver is an interesting man. Certainly at three o’clock in the morning he was far more chatty than I expected but after I while I managed to warm up and discover the ability to hold conversation. We chatted about a few things but at one point after I told him I had lived in Greece for a few years he asked me what the situation with the immigrants is. Now this kind of question can go one of two ways and it comes from a basis usually of “poor refugees” or “economic migrants we may have to be wary of”. I have found myself in this situation enough times to recognise this and give a general answer about how conditions are terrible there and now I can warn of the dangers of this virus in the camps. If he is inclined to be on the economic migrant side of the debate he doesn’t really get a window into the conversation from that angle and I’m careful not to go full refugee’s need rescuing and help coming to Britain because it opens up the possibilities of pointless arguments I cannot be bothered with.

Inevitably the conversation one way or another led onto politics and down the rabbit hole of nostalgia that Brexit has become. He was confident enough of his beliefs to admit to disliking faceless bureaucrats and being pro-Brexit. I suggested it wasn’t as straightforward as that because unfortunately we have plenty of faceless bureaucrats in the UK, we will soon be the United States’ little bitch and I enjoy living and working in foreign countries. The conversation very quickly got to the point we’ve all recognised before where the next step is basically you saying “No you’re wrong” and him saying “No actually you’re wrong”. For anyone who had one, a Brexit discussion reaches a very quick climax of that exact sort without fail. And you know what, there was something about that moment which I realised I missed.

The chap I was having this debate with was the archetypal northern mid-50s working man, he was even called Dave. That is no word of a lie. I like him he’s a good man and I really enjoyed this conversation about a topic which we’ve all forgotten took over our lives six months ago before we moved onto the killer virus. It was painfully evident that despite society having an enormous hug we’ve still got a long way to go to build bridges and men like Dave are still as determined about their understanding of societies ills as snowflake millennials like me of their opposite.

I still can’t get over how much of the perfect box he fit in and genuinely I’m not saying that as a criticism. I think we all forget in our determination to be right and force our version of right on others that we may just be wrong. It is only in understanding that and that men like Dave are not the enemy but very much on the same team as us that we may actually remove those who have pillaged and offered such little genuine hope to people. Dave hasn’t created this shit show, neither have I although we both continue to allow it’s existence as we wag fingers at each other while having our pockets picked. We talk of this virus bringing us together as a society but if we don’t get over any of the other bullshit we’ll just as quickly become divided down old lines once more. It’ll take us all. If not the old order will have won once again.