Tag: craving

A Gut Feeling

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I started reading a book on the stomach call Gut by Giulia Enders about six months ago. I mentioned it when I was writing about stomach cleanses back in December and recently again. It’s an incredibly interesting and easily accessible book which I will write about properly once I’m finished but considering I jump in and out of it when I feel that may just be a while away yet. The reason I mention it is because I am trying to build up my microbiome gut flora, or fauna, I can’t remember, and she discusses this is quite a lot of detail. In late February just as this virus kicked off I bought a pile of vitamin C and multivitamin tablets online, as well as some probiotic capsules. While it’s impossible to tell for sure, I instinctively feel that these tablets have been doing something, the vitamins I’m unsure but I have a gut feeling – sorry – that the probiotics have done something. I feel good in a whole way that that includes mood and all round energy. It is always risky linking that with one particular thing and is likely an accumulation of factors like diet, not sleeping too much and probably multiple other things. I am cautiously optimistic though.

There is something though that I’m not quite comfortable with. When I gave up eating meat for eighteen months many years ago, I gradually stopped craving lamb or beef when needing protein or iron and started craving lentils and spinach instead. I remember distinctly recognising the change. For me my mind had stopped associating the required and desired minerals with one type of food and now it recognised it in another. It makes perfect sense that we would crave particular foods that provide particular nutrients when we need them. This may be a leap and is merely an as yet unevolved idea, but if we’re taking multivitamins with each meal, they recommend three times a day and I take roughly twice sometimes less, then surely the mind will not be able to recognise what food provides what nutrition. If each pill provides a third of your daily intake of iron and you eat it with a jam sandwich, does the mind start to associate jam sandwiches with iron. Is there a danger that we’ll stop eating the necessary balanced and healthy diet as we lose our instinctive ability to choose which foods to eat as and when our body requires it. Although if we’re getting all our nutrition anyway does it really matter. This could be a half cooked idea and may in reality have an affect at the base level only. I am unsure though, it is only an idea. I shall meditate on it some more.

So Very Thirsty These Days

Hamar Williams1 Comment

I think I’m evolving into one of those people who drinks a little every evening after work. Socially acceptable middle class alcoholism or something like that. When I get in from making pizzas I really enjoy a couple of beers. I takes the edge off lets say. Thankfully I only make pizzas three days a week but I’m aware of that craving for a drink and how much of a habit it becomes to feel it and then satiate it. Saying that in the grand scheme of things I’m probably drinking less over all than if I went to the pub and had a drinking session. Admittedly these don’t really seem to happen a great deal anymore but still the point remains.

Why do I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t be doing then. Is drinking two or three beers on my own when I get in somehow socially unacceptable now. Should I be ashamed of doing this. Why do I feel I need to be sneaky about it, although I’m obviously not, there’s certainly something that makes me want to keep it hidden. Have societies pressures finally got to me. If I had a girlfriend or flat mate it would be acceptable to come back and have a couple of drinks, so being a solitary drinker of two drinks is the issue. I genuinely don’t know what makes me feel like this is something I shouldn’t be doing. I used to be wild – says every thirty-four year old ever – and now I’m experiencing these thoughts and emotions about something so normal. Strange times.

But it would be wrong to mention this desire for a drink without raising awareness of addiction. In this case sugar addiction. I’m not saying alcoholism isn’t a very real thing but having observed that feeling of desire and necessity I have noticed that sometimes I crave alcohol in times when I’m also craving something sweet. If I give up the sugar for a week lets say, I very quickly lose interest in having a drink and it is undeniable the two are related. Anyone who has ever said “Oh I really needed that” after taking that first large gulp of their pint is feeding some addiction somewhere and it would be foolish to deny the existence of sugar in beer. People know and acknowledge the issue with sugar in alcoholic drinks but rarely do they seem to relate the connection between sugar addiction and alcohol consumption. Let’s see how this evolves in these changing times.

The Present & Desire

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I was thinking today about finding balance in life. I’ve probably mentioned it before but it always appears to be something that alludes me. In one moment I’m dropping everything and running off on an adventure, and the next I’m craving the stability offered from a home that if I’m honest I’ll struggle to create because I’m always running off on the adventures I yearn for after too long in a stable home like environment. Now either that’s an inability to find balance between the two or it’s an example of someone not being happy with what they’ve got and always believing the green happiness grass is just around the other corner. It’s also just an example of someone who wants it all, and probably another few examples of all sorts of things. For the sake of this though lets stick to the idea that I am unable to find the required level of balance.

There once was a time in life that like everyone else I believed that if I just did, saw, bought, met, went to x, y, z then happiness would be sure to follow. I was not conscious of that belief but certainly it was unconsciously there playing a part in my decision making. I am not suggesting for a second I’m some enlightened being who has managed to rise above such things because I still crave all those things in my own little pursuit of happiness but am aware that with their receipt I won’t be taken around some magical corner that happiness was simply hiding behind. It is also probably most likely that accepting this will bring me closer, as well as not actually looking for it in the first place, but as I love missing the point in the moment and clearly only know it intellectually I’ll continue this self-defeating quest.

By not constantly imagining the answer is around some instant corner nobody has ever seen let alone looked around, we must surely stop craving these extreme changes in life, such as finding the answer in some foreign land or by the hearth. Importantly also it takes away from the present, in that you’re neither in the foreign land or at home if your mind is always looking out for some hypothetical feeling of happiness it imagines it should be experiencing. You forget to actually enjoy the place you’ve made the effort to go to or the contentment and security of home when you take the time to relax. I suspect were we to enjoy these things properly we may stop craving them so much when we don’t have them anymore. Have you ever drunk that last mouthful of coffee without realising before looking in the cup to find there is no more and feeling unsatisfied. Compare that to really taking the time to enjoy and appreciate that last mouthful; you are content with what you’ve had, you feel satisfied. Why would life on a larger scale be any different.