Tag: coding

Artificially Intelligised

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

We’ve all watched or at least know the premise of the Terminator movie franchise. It feeds on a fear we have over the creation of free thinking killer robots. I’m currently watching the series Battlestar Galactica which deals with a similar theme. There are a seemingly infinite number of films or series dealing with this topic to varying degrees of success and infamy. I’ve just watched this video produced by the independent media organisation Double Down News. To suggest it’s intention is to scare you would be unfair but be prepared to be scared.

Worried yet?

What it does do though beyond that is raise an important point on the programming of artificially intelligent robots. It is important to start from the premise that we will not be able to create fully self-aware and conscious robots. We do not understand the brain enough to fully understand consciousness, so being able to create it within a computer programme in actuality is not possible. How the programme is written then is what we need to understand. As the video suggests the computer would be programmed to kill all humans or to convince all humans not to reproduce and ultimately see them die out as a species. Even I could probably write the code for the kill all humans although teaching them to recognise what a human is would be the tough part. Could a computer write that programme, not unless it had been taught the basics in the first place.

It’s the human input we need to be concerned with. The computer may be able to learn but in and of itself it will only learn what and how as it has been programmed. If we want to detach ourselves, it is easy to suggest a little like people. The video raises an interesting point too that I had never considered before. If people can easily create malware to infect your computer, what about the artificially intelligent version of that, or a robot with a virus. We shouldn’t be naïve enough to believe our governments only have our best interests when they produce anything but we should also fear the malware version of an AI robot. What if it simply malfunctions?

And of course there are the nanobots that will land on your head and kill you. Suppressing an unruly populace will be pretty straightforward if you have that kind of technology. As someone who has always romantically believed in the possibility of a good revolution one day that is rather concerning. What then too if someone hacks these miniature killing machines and the virus infecting them leads them to kill everyone. Or more positively the current people in power trying to kill the partisans. Maybe there is hope after all. No matter what one side does it simply forces the other to step up and be creative. Food for thought.

A Burning America

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

There was once a time when I was mulling over the idea of going to America for a friends summer wedding. Summer has been and gone and the wedding became a tiny event with just a few family. I think we all know which virus we can blame for that change of plans. I was thinking too about maybe visiting him at some point later this year or spring next year and going on a road trip somewhere. He’s good for road trips. In another unrelated plan I thought about going to Seattle and completing a coding bootcamp course. Coding because I want to learn how to write it, bootcamps because they’re intense and good ways to learn and Seattle because it’s apparently quite a cool city and it’ll always be synonymous with Nirvana and the grunge music scene in my mind.

None of these things are probably going to happen. Partly I don’t want to go too far from the UK at the moment considering we have no idea what will happen with this virus over the winter. With the American government responding worse than ours somehow it doesn’t look like the most appealing place right now either. On top of that though it really does look like the country is descending into what can only be described as the early stages of it’s second civil war. Am I being hyperbolic? Perhaps. But taking a look at current events with another person being shot dead it does make you take notice and raise an eyebrow. A few days ago some little seventeen year old right-wing kid shot three people protesting on behalf of Black Lives Matter, after another unarmed black man was shot dead by police. Today, or maybe it was last night, a man was shot dead but this time he was marching with Patriot Prayer, a right-wing group taking part in counter protests.

A year or two ago these two sides of the ideological divide in America were squaring up to each other wearing armour and carrying bats. A few people turned up carrying guns but more to flaunt they could and as a warning that they had them than to actually use. Now they’ve started using them. This is currently an incredibly heated situation in a country awash with guns. At the moment, to say this could unfold with further violence and shooting is not an overly dramatic statement to make. It is an election year with an unstable leader willing to push and step over the boundaries of common practice in his determination to hold on to power. I’m not suggesting he’s about to lead a fascist military coup or become a dictator but he’s likely to incite an already incited populace. Really this could go anywhere. For the time being I know where I won’t be going.

The AWOL Mind

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

If we were using weather to describe mood, this last week would have just about summed it up perfectly. As the storms arrived I went down a rabbit hole. I’m not one for describing how I feel online. Generally exposing myself like that is not always something that comes easily to me and in truth there are times I pour scorn on people who share their mood in social media posts. I should probably stop being so unfair on people crying out for help in such moments of desperation, it likely does nothing more than expose my own ignorance of mental health issues.

This has been an intense year. That is probably an understatement. In a way I am happy about how it has turned out, I took advantage of the new version of existence that came along. There are some things I would have liked to have done more of such as learning how to code but with all the work and the need to rest and procrastinate, I just ran out of time. Maybe less procrastination, or more efficiency with it. Can you efficiently procrastinate?

I always knew I would move on from here and I am fine with that because I have moved on from many places, I never saw this stop as a final one and it has already been about six months longer than had been planned. With lockdown any need to achieve or succeed, or create something or make money or do something or whatever self-induced pressures I put on myself evaporated. I had no choice but to stay in one spot and work with what I had. with options come pressures. I loved it and in a way I carried this on. However as it came time to wrap up this chapter I realised I had to step back out into this world and all the old fears and irrationalities, and ultimately all the stupid bullshit returned. For nearly two months now I have been working everyday on the pizzas and delivering bread three sometimes four mornings a week. You don’t sleep much in these circumstances and this simply exacerbates things. Throw in the fact me and my friend have a rather tempestuous relationship, it all seemed to come to a head this week.

If I were to say I lost my mind I would not be exagerating. I started to believe everyone was working against me, that they were trying to sabotage me. At one point one of the guys came down from the bakery to pick up some oven gloves from the cafe as they had run out up there. I wasn’t about and he took the best two pairs. In my mind he did this because it was all part of pushing me out. Looking back now it is almost comical but in that moment it was entirely serious. My body was tensing up, my neck still hurts and I was getting headaches. I have worked many seasonal jobs in the past which have been everyday for extended periods but they’ve rarely involved the mental stress of running things or maintaining personal relationships within the whole daily operation. It’s safe to say I now know my limits.

It’s also safe to say now the winds only signify change and the movement into something new. My friend suggested we stop the pizzas on Monday instead of continuing for two more weeks as originally planned. At first I took it in the same stride of paranoid lunacy I had previously been experiencing and planned on having it out with him when I next saw him. In the end with that being about two days later it was just a chat between two people who had been mates since they were eight years old. In that time I had already started to calm down but he had seen how much I needed a rest and he was right to suggest we stop. I’m grateful for him pulling me out of the rabbit hole because I doubt I would have been able to do it on my own without doing something overly dramatic and ridiculous.

Life is full of pressures. Some pushed upon us but many entirely of our own making. When we look in from the outside we can rationally understand were things need to change. If it is ourselves though, when it’s our own minds which seem to have gone AWOL being able to make sense of things can almost be an impossible act. It is time mentally for some recuperation. With the awakening of my senses this is already underway. The pressures are off and I can breath again. We rest, we recover, we take a step followed by another and we get on with it. We get on with what comes next. Something always comes next, how you experience it is up to you.

A (Future) Learned Techie

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I’m attempting to become a techie. I think that’s how you spell it, I don’t think that’s the word that describes someone who lacks patience and can be a bit pissy. The English language is so confusing sometimes and I have such sympathy for people who try to learn it. Why ie for techie and y for pissy? I’m going to either expose my lack of knowledge or show off but I’m going to say there isn’t a reason it’s just another example of the bizarre and unruly nature of spelling and the English language. As a now retired English teacher I know there is some truth in that but as I’m painfully aware much of my teaching involved winging it so really the true answer could be anything. As I was saying though, I’m going to become a techie, and hopefully not a tetchy one.

A few months ago I started learning how to code. It’s both a mix of frustrating and satisfying, and in that way that you can’t have one without the other. As you get better it probably becomes a little less about working out what you’re supposed to be writing and more about formulating all the knowledge you have in a working way. I’ve heard it said that coding is slightly like learning a language and there is truth in that. Just like successfully asking for and understanding directions to the local train station, seeing your code creating the outcome you’re after, results in pat yourself on the back levels of satisfaction. Admittedly I am still not far beyond the Hello, my name is… and I am from… but we’ve all got to start somewhere.

Fun though it is making pizzas, doing home renovations and driving a bread van around I suspect I will need something else at one point. I seem to have a constant desire to learn new things and with an equally strong one to go to new places, having a way to make money with just a laptop from anywhere in the world seems like an appealing necessity in a way. People would certainly be happier I’m sure if they could find an existence that suits them and how they want to live. I doubt I’ll ever be a nine to five, five days per week kind of person. As I’ve mentioned previously we do have an incredible ability to adapt as a species and while I don’t doubt I could adapt to that way of life I don’t think I really want to. There’s too many other things to do. And do from interesting places. Learning something new again. Always learning something new.

The Simple Joys Of A Spreadsheet

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I’ve just spent the last two hours making a spreadsheet of pizzas we’re selling. Not the most exciting two hours of my life but there was certainly something satisfying about it. In truth I’m not entirely sure what was satisfying about it but I feel satisfied so it must be something. Perhaps it was the sense of accomplishment at completing a task, thats usually what gives me that feeling. It is is hard to deny though, and perhaps even harder to admit, that there was something pleasurable about looking at all those numbers on the page in order and lined up. The organised spreadsheet took on some kind of mystique before my eyes. The days of searching of creativity and havoc are seemingly behind me as I revel in the joys of ordered filing systems. What kind of monster have I become.

My Dads an accountant. I’m not, and I have no intention of ever being so. This isn’t the beginning of a heartwarming story which ends with him adding ‘& Son’ to the business. I have a GCSE in maths, just, and while I can count and do my times tables most other things seem to be beyond me. I was trying to learn computer coding recently and I realised with horror that I might need some basic maths skills. That certainly put a dent in my aspirations. I even found myself looking online for some maths courses I could do but lets be honest I’ve probably done enough courses in my life, it might just be time for a good book, a pad and a pen. The old fashioned way.

This daily writing thing can be a challenge sometimes. I wanted to share my pleasure in a spreadsheet victory but clearly it’s not worth four hundred plus words. Beyond dissecting the whole process, which I seem to be doing on writing this piece, there doesn’t seem to be a great deal more to talk about on it. Perhaps this is some kind of writing lesson; either learn how to stretch a piece out like I have done with every university essay I’ve ever written, become a better writer and therefore easily write some funny piece taking the piss out of myself and spreadsheets or just don’t choose to write about bloody spreadsheets in the first place. There is something to be said for the last two. Well it’s all part of the learning experience after all. I’m currently living beside the sea so maybe tomorrow I can write a detailed piece on how to dry sand. That’s probably on par. And that’s now over four hundred words. My essay writing skills coming to the fore once more.

The Hobbyists Dear Diary

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Although I am starting to become concerned that I may just be turning this into a glorified diary I’m seemingly on such a self indulgent enough trip at present that I’ll continue.

Dear diary,
Today I started a new hobby. You see dearest diary I love hobbies, in fact I’ve seemingly been treating too many things in life as hobbies. Some call it not sticking to anything, but for me I really really wanted to be a yoga teacher so I did a course and got a certificate, a tree surgeon so I did a course, a sailor so I did numerous courses, an English teacher, a philosopher, carpenter, engineer, proofreader and I’m in no doubt there were others that I have forgotten about. I loved learning all these things with the intention of turning them into a career, and in a way I did, just my own version of a career. Oh dear diary I just love to refer to them all as a series of hobbies, my life appears to be one long hobby and it’s just such fun. And now I have a new one. I’m going to learn computer science and become a coder. The ultimate jack of all trades has finally tried to pick up a computer and turned it on successfully. Isn’t that so exciting dear diary.
love you love you love you love you

But yes that is that. I’m a grown man with a diary online. It’s funny how things naturally evolve and I know I take the piss out of myself but I don’t mind or care what I am writing about or where I am now. In truth there is so much time for a hell of a lot of evolution in this thing and currently this is where I’m at. The diary phase.

Coding though, for someone who has prided himself on being a technophobe all these years and forever too cool for school, this is quite the corner to have turned. Who knows though, I’ve got to stick to something one day and this allows for a hell of a lot of flexibility, freedom and creativity. It may just be something that grabs my attention when I’m not sailing or getting beaten up by girls.

With all that in mind it is worth pointing out that there is always more to anything. We are put under so much pressure from society to achieve X, Y and Z, and to have done it by a certain age. For sure there are many people out there lost, with no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going. It is a stressful existence and it disgusts me that people have been allowed to slip through the cracks, forgotten and ignored. They may feel alone but they’re not, that’s almost the worst part. Stand up my brothers and sisters, societies outcasts who have not, can not and do not want to achieve success in a style unnatural and forced upon them. Be free and embrace your freedom. Realise you are the lucky few. And while you’re at it, why not take up a hobby or two.

Born Again

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

When people get into their thirties, like I am well into now, they discover new things and sometimes become mad and obsessed with them. In their twenties it doesn’t happen so much but thirties for sure I’ve seen people go crazy. The born again christians of whatever new hobby or life direction they take to fulfil that empty hole in their life. My lack of the focus and attention span required may just protect me from this. I’m currently reading a book on beekeeping and they’re incredible animals, from the nanny bees keeping the larvae at the perfect temperature, and I mean to one degree celsius, to the queen laying two thousand eggs a day to the language they use communicating about good sources of pollen like little stoners. They’re incredible and I want my own apiary, healthy nutritious raw honey, tasty alcoholic mead and the connection and bond with an actual hive of tens of thousand of bees. Will I become obsessed, well maybe we’ll see. It may just fall at the wayside like my plan to learn how to write code – I downloaded an app about a month ago – and making beer – I bought a brewing set about two months ago.

The problem with desiring doing too much is that we put so much effort into the excitement of the planning and dreaming that the actual doing becomes boring. The effort and hard work required to complete these fantasies doesn’t compare to how we have been imagining it in our excitable dreams. In the end we do nothing. Part of this then involves discipline and this seems to be the thing that has been lacking for me. Of course it suited me in my twenties having no discipline, who needs it when you’re just traveling around and having fun. This continued into my thirties but at thirty-four I think I may have to become a born again disciplinarian, or at least born again about the idea of it. If I ever have kids, poor little fuckers. This writing experiment is just that, an experiment but it is also an attempt at learning discipline and creating the habit required to not even notice the effort required to be disciplined. I have the physical discipline to write daily it appears, or at least do at the moment while my life is in one place and stable, but not always the discipline to write well or with effort. That will come, as much because it’ll be boring for myself to just dribble out inane nonsense. But what I am curious to see is whether this discipline can spread out and infect other parts of my life. The discipline to do yoga every morning, to do a little exercise, to eat well – these three things are starting to become necessary more each day as I start to feel the aches and pains of age. Maybe I’ll even make my beer and god forbid sit down long enough without procrastinating to find time to write an app.

Time is the master. While it may be infinite our moment within it certain isn’t. What has happened now in the past is done, it is over. It may have been great and full of experience but if we do not look forward we just become those grumpy old lonely travellers lost in their missed opportunities and repetitive stories. Today I drive to Cockermouth, the day after I probably come back, and the day after that, well thats anyones guess but I suspect it may be a good one.