city – Observations and Misunderstandings

I was doing so well living the life of oblivious bliss. No news for ten days, suddenly the world felt like a beautiful place. When you have no idea what is going on outside of the bubble you live in on a daily basis then things can very easily start to appear relatively calm. It helps that the bubble is a small seaside village and despite peoples best attempts at creating them, there are few genuine regular issues worth being demoralised over. That doesn’t mean things don’t happen but certainly little worthy of national attention let alone global and geopolitical. Saying that in places like this all you have to do is scrape below the surface and you’ll find something worth getting carried away with. It does explain the propensity for gossip in places like this though.

It’s interesting to see how we respond to moments of drama. I know I could live in a small village and life would be relatively stress free, likely it would be safe and although there wouldn’t be many people around I would know enough of them to not experience loneliness. Living in a city is far more exciting, there are things to do, places and people to see and there would be enough action to absorb you attention as required. Life though would probably be more intense and potentially more stressful, also in my experience far more lonely than any small village I’ve ever lived in. I’ve never quite understood that, and suspect the lonely feeling in cities is something born out of not being brought up in one and knowing how really to exist within them.

Perhaps a balance between the two. Always a balance. Always a fence to sit on. A sleepy but interesting and cultured city beside the sea. That’s the dream. I imagine if that existed so many people would have moved there in search of it they would destroy it in the process. It’s like being a tourist and wanting to visit the idyllic spots and being oblivious to the fact your presence helps in destroying any sense of idyllic you once had. We just can win. But we should never give up. What kind of life would that be. Too busy, too noisy but never settle. Or does that just miss the point for acceptance and appreciating what you have. Perhaps that’s for another time when I fancy another little ramble. It’s happened before, it’ll happen again.

Conspiracy theories are such a comfort. I was chatting with my Mum the other day and telling her how there is something about this whole Coronavirus pandemic that just makes me feel suspicious, there’s something not right and I can’t work out what it is. This unease could be attributed to numerous things but I have been putting it down to the fact that certain things just don’t make sense. I mentioned previously how we’re not looking at the whole picture in relation to statistics. The extraordinary numbers of deaths attributed to vehicles, alcohol, smoking and suicides which occur on a daily basis dwarf this virus yet they’re barely discussed with anything near the urgency we’re currently experiencing in the national dialogue. I also have a healthy distrust of my government, any government come to think of it, and the mainstream media which I have mentioned previously as well as implied regularly. With this in mind it is easy to see how I may be inclined to believe some of the ideas going around online about the real cause or nature of this pandemic. What dawned on me mid conversation though was that perhaps I couldn’t find something credible to pin this distrust upon because actually this virus has no underlying manipulator, it just exists, and it’s existence is uncontrollable.

So let me explain how that last point relates to the first. Conspiracy theories are a comfort because they make sense of events that ordinarily would bring uncontrolled confusion and danger to our lives. What I mean by that is that if we believe there are puppetmasters controlling the spread of this virus or controlling the media manipulation of a non-existent virus, we can find an entity that we know such as government, the deep state, the Chinese, et al and blame them. We may still be powerless, let’s be honest, but at the very least we know our enemy and once we know something it immediately becomes less scary. Ultimately the unknown plays an enormous part in most of if not all our fears, we are scared of what we don’t know because it could be dangerous, it is an instinctive animalistic response. If this virus is not being manipulated by someone it is uncontrollable, that makes it unknown and this version of the reality we create is far more fearful than the comforting one of deep state manipulation.

It is probably important to mention that I dislike the term conspiracy theory because it is used in a derogatory way to belittle an idea which runs contrary to the official story. I use it in this piece for the sake of understanding. It is as dangerous to dismiss all conspiracy theories as it is to accept all of them, or to accept all official theories. That should be obvious though. It should be obvious too that there are some official versions of events which are clearly untrue; think the assassination of JFK or the ludicrous attempts to pass off the hole filled story of the World Trade Centre attacks. There are also though the utterly bizarre such as that we live on a flat Earth or are ruled by a race of reptilian overlords. This last one is interesting because it is a perfect example of finding order within the disorder of existence; all these bad things that happen in this world are down to a race of evil reptiles, not because human beings are a complex irrational species capable of the unexpected and unacceptable.

This isn’t of course to say those with access to power are not going to take full advantage of this virus at any opportunity. We’ve already seen governments push through draconian security and spying legislation, rich party donors are lining their pockets all under the guise of saving lives, the wealthy traders are watching in glee as the economy crashes waiting for their opportunity pick at the carcass of once viable businesses. It is comforting to think all of this is controlled though because that is what we can understand. If it is controlled it is less likely to indiscriminately hurt us or our loved ones and it will have an end point. It is vitally important to indulge in a healthy amount of scepticism but at some point it may be worth throwing off the security blanket of conspiracies and seeing the world for the disorganised, irrational and unknown place it is. As is life.

Tag: city

A Ramble Through Little