Tag: Athens

A Second Chance

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Lockdown 2.0 is coming. France and German signed up last week. Athens will this week. England will be joining the club in the coming days. Scotland is persevering with it’s tier system instead with no regions currently in tier four and lockdown but it’s likely a watch this space thing. Politically if Scotland’s approach doesn’t work it will have a lasting effect on the Scottish elections in May next year but equally that is a long time in politics. As this most remarkable of years has shown; a lot of the unexpected can happen in a short space of time. Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister, met with Micheal Gove the other day, along with the leaders of Wales and Northern Ireland to discuss the differing approaches and the potential financial aid necessary. He suggesting the government were listening and would give it some thought. Gove the ultimate in parodies, giving the perfect non-committal politician response. Issues have started to arise as it appears funding to prop up jobs UK-wide only seems to be on offer when the English in the south-east start to find themselves in need. The Tory government propping up their heartlands. It is an easy accusation to make but equally a very believable one on which they have form.

How then are people planning on experiencing these lockdowns. Boris Johnson says it’ll be only for four weeks but the previous one was only supposed to be three weeks and it ended up being three months. If people living in the Arctic circle can not just endure but actively enjoy a few months of winter darkness then surely we in the UK can survive some bleak skies for a bit. Apparently one method they have for remaining happy in these long winters is to find excitement in the things they can do instead which they can’t in summer months. They ski, they make fires, they go for night walks, they do indoor things. In Scotland because the weather can be so volatile it has always felt necessary to make the most of good weather and complete outdoor tasks, or even just enjoy the outdoors. When it’s raining and cold we do the jobs we have put off inside the house. It may not be the most exciting prospect but it creates a wealth of opportunities. With many having already experienced one lockdown in Spring they will be either daunted and fatigued by the prospect of a second or excited at being even better at their second attempt. What didn’t we get to learn in the first one, what didn’t we manage to watch on Netflix, what books didn’t we manage to get through and so on. Modern life has meant people rarely get to spend lengthy periods of time with themselves but it is crucial in our self-development as people. Aren’t we lucky we get a second roll of the dice. A hard six perhaps? What a glorious opportunity we have.

Interplanetary Establishment Stooges

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This was going to be a piece on the EHRC report into anti-semitism within the Labour party. If I was attempting to be a super duper up to the minute journalist then it probably should be but instead I’m just some guy who likes to spout his limited opinion on various things on a daily basis. Tomorrow I have a long journey to Athens and as there is so much stuff coming out on this purge I would like to digest it first. Also, and more importantly, far more important than any of this power politics nonsense which I’ll get myself worked up about tomorrow and a day late, is an article in The Independent that says scientists “have found a “rogue” planet floating through our galaxy, untethered to any sun”.

What the fuck?! What the actual fuck?!! And how the actual fuck is something like this not a bigger story. Apparently it is the smallest rogue world ever found and has a mass somewhere between Earth and Mars. There are rogue worlds?! What the…you get the point. The universe is incredible and not just because I’m about to watch the last two episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I always thought planets revolved around a sun but there appears to be loads just floating around freely. It does beg the question though, what if it’s a Death Star? It probably isn’t but saying it definitely isn’t is surely a rational or logical impossibility. We exert so much energy arguing and worrying over the most stupid little things and there’s planets, which haven’t been proven not to be Death Stars, just floating around out there. In all seriousness though, why do we limit the possibilities of existence when we’re constantly proving how little we actually know. Socrates got it, he understood.

It doesn’t take away from the fact Keir Starmer isn’t just another establishment stooge doing other people’s dirty work. He’s a total prick let’s be honest. This whole attack on Jeremy Corbyn is incredible to observe. Just step back from it, detach yourself and observe it objectively. He challenged real power and they’re destroying him. You can see the mechanisms grinding away, the people and institutions involved. This is the type of thing you see on some television series. Yet this is real life and it’s absolutely blatant. It’s fascinating, it’s horrifying. It does show how exposed they are in this modern day world with the internet. Won’t mean a lot though when this new planet settles in our orbit and we discover we’ve got neighbours. I wonder how quickly Starmer will decide to worship his new masters.

A Covid Ramble

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Well it appears with winter on the horizon the world is settling for a miserable one. If we thought enduring lockdown while Britain basked in what was likely the warmest April and May on record was hard just wait until we hit January and the recently lifted Christmas restrictions are firmly smashed back into place. Thankfully I’m not in the UK now, in Greece you wouldn’t even imagine there was a virus, not where I am anyway. They’re handling it the most Greek way possible and just getting on with things. Saying that despite my ridiculously ignorant attempt at national stereotypes when they did have a lockdown it was a hard one apparently. It allowed them to open up for the summer and despite a few flair ups wherever the Brits like to holiday, the country has remained reasonably virus free. Last weekend in Thessaloniki the guy working in the hostel told me Thessaloniki had about five cases a day and Athens had two hundred. I think I may have mentioned that at the time but looking at the rest of the rates around Europe, well into the thousands, that is quite remarkable.

In that knowledge leaving this country, which I’m likely to do, seems a little silly. It’s like seeing prison and deciding you would like to go spend some time there. I never fully experienced lockdown the last time because I was working delivering bread and being clapped every Thursday like a hero. This time I would be going full power and disappearing for a couple of months. At least I may find the time to read those books I had for so long complained I was too busy for. Sounds quite exciting. I might study something too. There is so much to study. Look at me getting all excited about something everyone else is dreading. In truth I am too I’m just not sure what I’ll be experiencing enough to dread it.

I can’t wait to read the literature that people put out in a few years about this time. There will likely by films or television series in 2021. Perhaps the aftermath will be more of an interesting topic. Stories set during lockdown would likely focus on the psychological elements of the experience, but events after would likely be either on human versions of flowers opening up in Spring or will be about system change as Brexit flounders, the economy crashes and people overthrow the government and create peoples assemblies.

Either that or I’ll just be gloating about how I finally put in that application for Irish citizenship. Twelve to eighteen months and then probably another one or two for me to get off my arse and apply for the passport. That’ll be it. I give up on the Scots for being the only country in history suffering from Stockholm Syndrome bad enough to reject independence and the Brits for being a typical version of a people incapable of accepting their glorious history of domination and empire is now nothing but an illusion. If it were ever anything else. Fuck it the Irish seem like they’re having fun, I’ll go see what they have to say for themselves. Apparently too Covid rates below the border in the Republic are a fraction of those in the British controlled North. Well that’s telling. Handling it well are you Boris. I hope history is harsh on you.

An Ancient Foe

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The humble mosquito. What a remarkable creature. I once made a deal with them on an infested coach journey in Thailand that if they left me alone I would them. It wasn’t until three years later when I was in Spain that I broke the terms they had stuck to. Ten years later and the war has become one of attrition, both sides too caught up in their base instinct for survival.

I find them fascinating creatures. They have brains and they can sense, smell and see. They are attracted to the carbon dioxide we emit as well as the heat of our bodies. I discovered a long time ago that having a cold shower stops them coming so much. Them coming being hunting of course. We are hunted. They may be small but they hunt us. I wonder if they hunt other animals. I assume so, they can’t just be after us even though we do have such easily accessible and soft skin. Yet they keep coming even after we have killed them and I imagine other animals would be far worse at swatting them. They may have brains but they must be small. Saying that they’re sneaky and they can get places you can’t imagine possible. Tonight like the last few nights, despite closing everything there always seems to be more. I wonder if they come in during the day and just wait.

When I lived in Athens I had a net around my bed. I couldn’t have survived without it and wondered how my flatmates who didn’t could sleep while also having their window open because of the heat. My wall was splattered with dead mosquitoes. It was my trophy wall I like to believe was a warning to others. It didn’t seem to work. That old familiar buzzing in the ear. Yet there’s never anything there when you turn around or turn on the light. Was I imagining it? Am I going mad? Yet we eventually see them and those ancient instincts rise to the surface as our eyes lock on the target and the battle begins. The traditional hand clap or if patient enough a wall slap.

When I lived in Lesvos the ceiling to my room was so high they worked out they could just hide up there and they would be safe. Eventually my old school changing room training kicked in and I realised I could whip the ceiling with my towel. When in Nepal I would pull my sheet up to my head and when I could hear them close would slap the side of my head to get them. While this was ridiculous for the obvious reasons it wasn’t until one day I forced one deep into my ear by the force of the air. The beating of it’s tiny wings like a marching band on my ear drum. The only solution being to pour water in and drown it. The next day in the lake it finally washed free.

The real moment of truth comes when they land on you. Do you quickly go for the kill or do you play the long game. The mosquito lands on your arm, it’s still looking around unsure whether it is safe to proceed. Rubbing it’s back legs together in delight as it eyes up it’s meal. So you wait. It tentatively tests the surface, look close enough and you can see it jabbing around with it’s microscopic needle for the perfect spot. You watch and you wait. Even once it has found where it will eat and has made it’s incision you still wait. Let it get those first mouthfuls of your blood. Let it relax. But still wait. Only once it has had it’s second taste, only once it has become docile and drunk on you do you reclaim what is yours with ease.

Yet I respect them. They keep coming. They’re like the ultimate predator, or they would be if you viewed them all in their entirety as one sentient being. Because they seem that way sometimes. It seems sometimes like all those years ago I broke a deal with that one sentient being and am destined to spend eternity paying off the reparations for my treachery. Well so be it. Let the war go on. We have nothing left to us now anyway but our base instincts. Why not let them play out.

On My Hols From The Safety Of My Hole

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I’m off on my holidays today. Going to Thessaloniki for the weekend. I’ve been there a couple of times before, usually passing through but not really seen the place that much. I’m not entirely sure what there is to see to be honest, or what state of lockdown they’re in. I suspect not at all but I’ll know when I get there. The main plan is to visit an old friend who’ve I’ve not seen for a few years since the heady days of the refugee crisis. Unlike most people who came over he stayed and I think runs a women’s shelter in the city. I’m not entirely sure though but I don’t doubt I’ll find out.

It’s good catching up with people though. I enjoy it. When you create bonds for whatever reason, as long as they’re positive, you should make sure to keep them as strong as life allows. And of course life happens, I’ve met many people who I’ve struggled to keep in contact with beyond the first or second attempts but you just never know when the third will be. My time in Greece is specifically about fixing up this boat I’m on but I know I will see people while I’m here and this is exciting. My next city trip will be Athens but it may have to be slightly longer than two nights.

It can involve effort going places though. I arrived in Greece exhausted from months of insanity and this boat at the end of the yard has been a nice little hole to hide away in. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to leave, it is safe here and I can continue hiding away. It can be hard not to listen to this feeling, especially as it’s currently raining outside and my instincts tell me to hide away in the shelter of the boat. At some point though we need to step out of our safe hiding spots or the world and life just passes us by. Saying that, maybe it’s just a sign that I need to stay hidden a little longer. I may need more time for myself but it’s only two days and I still have the best part of two weeks before my self-imposed moving on deadline becomes reality.

Anyway, I should have probably left about an hour or two ago. I was going to avoid the toll roads and add two hours to the drive, I enjoy scenic routes and feel taxes should pay for roads. The rain doesn’t give the feel for a lovely scenic drive though and I may just have to dip into my pocket to save two hours. I’ll let you know how I get on.

The Work Life Balance

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It’s a modern take on an age old struggle. How much are we capable of experiencing life and can we do this with the perfect amount of work. As is simple called, the work life balance. Although I’m sure I came across this before, my first real memory of being told I was about to experience a thing called a work life balance came when I was an English teacher in Athens. Teachers, like nurses, when passionate about their job have to give up far more of their time than the work manual suggests. There are people who like certain subjects and teach, and their are teachers who teach certain subjects. There’s a bit of a lazy cliche or moment of romanticism in there, the ideal of the passionate teacher, but I have experienced people who were born for the job. I recognised this because while I love teaching, that style wasn’t for me. While I needed work; I found myself with perhaps twenty-five hours a week spread evenly over six days. Throw in another ten hours for the planning and marking, more like three, and I should have had plenty of free time but somehow I didn’t. A morning class and then a few evening classes manages to take over your life. My work life balance was nothing more than an abstract concept.

Part of the training in the first week of term was on finding the perfect work life balance and what followed was a school run with what appeared to be the express intention of dismantling everything they had recommended. I was exhausted, I liked my students generally, but not the school and subsequently experienced Athens in a way that made leaving easy. Now I am experiencing a similar battle with this work life balance and am back to finding the whole concept bizarre. I’m working a lot and I’m exhausted but what I’ve realised is that what is ridiculous about the idea is that it creates a divide between the two realms of work and life. I have had some awful jobs over the years but people are capable of finding jobs they enjoy, they become part of their life. It doesn’t have to be the job itself, it could be the people you work with or even be your own business that you put your soul into. I see people working seven days a week and this is their life it’s not work anymore. They clearly don’t have a balance in the sense that would be idealised but they also clearly do have one for them. It would be too obvious to say that we just need to find something that suits us but it feels more likely that we evolve into or adapt to what becomes normal, we embrace that particular balance more than designing it to what we already know is good for us. I also know that’s entirely my perspective because I say that without a clue what would be something to aim for but there will be people out there who understand their needs enough. For me I just quite enjoy experiencing different versions of work life existence. I won’t be doing this forever and I’m sure I’ll stumble onto something one day. In the meantime I’ll just continue enjoying seeing the world through another persons eyes.

Desire All

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I’ve been fantasising again about running away and living a life of adventure. I should probably be clearer there, I daily fantasise about running away and living a life of adventure. It’s a tricky one coming from a life of seemingly constant travel to one in which I’m now in one place for three months shy of a year. It’s not that I’ve never stayed this long in one place. On two separate occasions I went a year, but they were in slightly more exotic places, Ibiza and Athens. There are times I wonder why I left either of them but I know why. It’ll probably also be why I leave here too. The problem though is that when I’m constantly on the move I start to find myself craving some stability and a home. It’s like I want the opposite extreme of whichever extreme I’m currently living. I share this not because I like to share, although I clearly do, but because I know I’m not alone in this kind of thing. We do this, we all do this. Maybe not to such extremes or perhaps a different type of extreme, but we all desire what we don’t have.

The question then is what hole are we trying to fill when we decide to fulfil our desires. I say this not just in the sense of running off and finding a boat to an exotic land, but I, we, buy things too. We desire and consume stuff, just lots of random stuff, and this must be for a reason other than because either we need it or we’re zombies who’ve been bitten by capitalism’s contagion. Sorry about the alliteration, I’m fallible. The point is though that there must be something we’re searching for other than the obvious; the adventure or the new t-shirt. Have they found a way of hacking into our inner selves and discovering that we have empty spaces which need filling. Or has life and the world we live in created these holes that we’re constantly trying to find answers for.

Desire is not a new thing. People in huts a thousand years ago desired something more so they sailed the seas and invaded countries. There may have been necessity and survival in a way very different to our own but there was still desire too. People have always craved jewels, there were wars fought over nutmeg, people killed for love. There is something natural about desire then, it’s about improving our own circumstances and making our lives better. It’s that drive that makes things better through ideas and inventions. Yet we are told by Eastern Philosophy to be objective and tame the desires within.

Ultimately these desires lead to suffering. I don’t doubt the Christian Bible will say something similar, as will the Koran. So is one right and the other wrong? Life is never so simple. We can use our desires to improve our worlds we live in, to help us strive, but if we can’t do anything about it then we will only suffer through our desire. If something is out of our control what is the point of allowing desire to take over. We must learn to be more objective, just be careful not to desire it, although it must be in our control so surely that’s fine. I was going to suggest it’s a crazy minefield with no answer but that all seems pretty simple and straightforward to me. Now then, that palm tree I was thinking about, I’m sure that’s something within my control…

Life’s Twists & Turns

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I was going to talk about something important, as always, but I’m currently wallowing in the post breakfast euphoria of this…

Focaccia eggy bread, with blue cheese, wild smoked salmon and a ‘garnish’ of rocket

I’m so painfully middle class I’m not even fighting it anymore. I also managed to remember that I was going to talk about different and uncontrollable paths in life. I realised last night that had this virus not become a thing I would have just been departing an Easyjet flight from Edinburgh to Athens, ready to say hello to some old faces and getting excited about a summer sailing around Greek islands drinking beer and wine, and eating too much of the world’s best cuisine. Yes I just made that statement. But that was what could have been.

I’m currently making pizzas as previously mentioned. This won’t go on forever and the lifting of lockdown will have an affect upon it but at most it’ll be a summer gig until the schools go back and the tourists disappear. This was never meant to be the plan as I said but it’s just what I’m doing now. Maybe in July I’ll have had enough of it and realise I’m wasting my time but that is something for future me to deal with. The point is that we clearly can’t control life’s ever evolving patterns. We can influence certain elements of it but let’s be honest in most things we’re pretty powerless. If you can’t sail, you just do something else. You meet other people, make other bonds. And you go with that and see what happens.

The truth is that while undeniably I’m longing for a holiday sitting on a beach somewhere in the sun and waking up whenever it pleases me, I’m perfectly content with this version of existence and how it’s unfolding. Maybe something will ruin that contentment, maybe something won’t. The point is not to tell you I’m living some kind of perfect life because I’m not, there’s no such thing, but there’s a good chance the whole world is doing something completely different in this Covid-19 version of existence and I just enjoyed the fact that last night I was sitting there and had a fairly good idea of exactly what I would have been doing. That I think is a rare pleasure, and a pleasure because I’m not longing for either. If we make the most of whatever we do end up doing we’re less likely to long for anything else.

And that goes for my breakfast too. It is Sunday today and while I love to think I would be in the Koukaki district of Athens looking for some little hipster brunch place, most likely I would be grabbing a spanakopita from the first bakery I could find from the few that open on a Sunday in Greece before driving to Preveza and fixing up a boat. Yes I desire that, but I’m pretty happy with whats sitting in my belly currently too.

As I read over that I felt at one point I wanted to vomit on myself. Don’t get me wrong the sentiment about uncontrollable existence and riding it’s wave still stands. It’s just I’m painfully aware that the two possible versions of existence I know of are pretty decent and there are plenty out there who don’t even have one decent version. “If you can’t sail, you just do something else“, I mean come on, what a wanker. But I don’t feel guilty, I don’t feel bad and I don’t feel I want to give up my blue cheese, what would that achieve. I’m just aware I’m incredibly lucky. Maybe I should find a way to share my blue cheese instead.

Work Life Balance Bullshit

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I was discussing with a friend / taking the piss out of the concept of the work life balance today. He owns his own company which means either there is no such thing as a work life balance or that he has created one he has to be comfortable with. I remember doing a training session for a new teaching job a few years ago in Athens and we had to do a one hour session on the importance of finding a work life balance. It is fair to say it was mocked widely as we went through it and this became clear why when the job seemed to take up six of the seven in my week shortly after, with very little reward. Now my mate works six out of seven days and this is normal for him but for me it was a travesty of existence. I had been used to working whenever I needed to and I would do it in a way that consisted of giving up on life for a month or two before giving up on work for the following six. I have worked on christmas tree farms, at language camps, picking fruit and so on. All pretty exhausting jobs but ones which as long as you’re willing to just work intensely allow you to save a little before finding somewhere interesting to enjoy life.

These days I have started to look beyond that despite it’s obvious benefits and am willing to find something I enjoy and which I would be happy to spend more time doing over the course of the year but far less intensely while doing it. People often don’t know what to do with themselves when they’re not working but I always enjoy my own company. I realised recently that my problem, if you want to look at it negatively, is that I treat life like a series of hobbies, let’s just say I’ve put far more value on life than work over the years. But that is me, not somebody else and it is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. The chef who goes into his restaurant on his day off so he can experiment and cook something for the pleasure is potentially finding the balance that suits him. My six months of pleasure were great but I always hated the extreme nature of dropping everything and disappearing into work mode somewhere random. There was a balance but it also felt like living two extremes.

Clearly there is no formula you can teach someone and people have to find their own way. We must also recognise the futility of it when we’re working six days a week in jobs we dislike but need, especially when our manages then proceed to lecture us on the importance of finding balance. There is something almost perverse about capitalism heartless joy in that respect but everyone at every level needs to hit their figures. That is the reality of the work life balance. The man at the bottom works so the guy at the top can enjoy his life. Two very different types of figures. I wonder how long that can last. In the meantime it does make disappearing away into the forest sound rather appealing.

An Unexpected Beating

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Well lads it finally happened, I went and got myself beaten up by a girl. Cheers of delight ring out across the skies from all the girls who have crossed my path and been wronged in the process. That would be silence obviously because it is zero girls. Back to the beating though, I got kicked in the head. Let’s try and create an image shall we. I’m tall, six foot three, and not big with muscle but I can hold my own. Not tonight though, for I’ve been doing some martial arts and attended my second kickboxing class. My New Years resolution involved jiu jitsu but events have evolved into kickboxing instead. I’m not a fighter, my instincts are to talk my way out of the trouble I’ve just talked myself into on the rare occasions it tries to find me. I don’t get the raw angry appreciation of hitting someone but when you see people fighting with talent and technique it feels like a majestic art form unfolding.

I did Krav Maga for eight months when I lived in Athens and I really enjoyed that too even though it was in Greek and I had to guess most of what was being said. You can’t spar in it though because there’s no gloves, it’s self defence and it’s designed to be rapid and brutal. Interestingly enough there are elements of kickboxing involved, I can see this in the technique already, but in kickboxing you spar and you actually need to learn how to defend yourself in a way you can’t in a Krav Maga beginners class. It gave me the taste required to search out more though.

This girl was good. It was the last practice of the session and the guy I had been training with had to leave so I went with her. She was small, reasonable skinny and an advert for not judging people by appearance. Interestingly enough when I kicked her she asked me to kick a little softer which is fair but it didn’t stop her coming in with some crazy combinations. In fairness to her though she never really tried to connect too much, misjudged that head kick though. And in truth she kicked though my pathetically positioned glove and hit me so it wasn’t too painful just a shock. She was all apologetic but I felt I needed to act tough, especially as I had to ask the coach for a sticky plaster in the first class because I cut my finger.

On a more serious note though martial arts are a very interesting form of practice, dare I say sport. As I said I’m not a fighter and I find most people who go to these things aren’t. What they do though is get you fitter, stronger and mentally train your mind in a way few other things do. You need to concentrate on what you are going to do while not letting your guard down, not letting your focus drop for a second. There has been a lot written about it but it creates a mental discipline and if you haven’t noticed by now that appears to be the long lost Holy Grail my life has suddenly started searching for. Maybe next time I’ll put aside my assumptions, learn to defend myself and accept that just this once it may not be an embarrassing thing to be beaten up by a girl.