Tag: alcoholic

Coffee & Ambling

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

Today was a remarkably contemplative day. I went for a long walk. There is nothing like a good amble when we need a think. I can’t remember the book, but I remember reading about various people from history who in their journals used to write about having their best ideas when walking. I feel compelled to agree with them. Contemplation isn’t always easy, in fact it can be a real challenge. What it is is unclear but perhaps the movement involved allows for the removal of stagnant energy clouding our thoughts. As we’re refreshed from the walk, which is also not too energetic that we’re distracted, or thoughts are refreshed with it. I also had a bamboo cane I found on the beach as a walking staff. I’ll make a good contemplative old man one day.

In other news brexit brexit brexit, covid covid covid, corruption corruption corruption. If it wasn’t for the fact it had such a potentially life threatening affect on our lives it would be so mentally beneficial to just block it all out. Such energy always clouding our minds. I did watch football last night though and it was a good result. An hour prior to kick off I started looking at the football news and seeing what was going on. Prior to that I hadn’t looked at a single football related thing since I suggested I would give up football news a few days ago. The interesting thing was that I got bored after half an hour of reading about stuff and just wanted to start watching the game. I don’t miss it. I love the game but I don’t miss all the other stuff.

Unfortunately my procrastinating is no different. I have given up the football and found myself binge watching a series. That’ll pass, admittedly only when I finish it or run out of data but it’ll pass. Importantly when it does pass I won’t have football to fall back on. I’m still so full of excitement about all the things I’ll replace football news with. Although as I said yesterday we only have now and I should probably take that into consideration and not this addictive series. Do I just need a vice? Maybe I should just become an alcoholic instead. I’m not designed for a life of purity I suspect. I’ve given up giving up coffee, maybe I’ll just stick to that. How boring life would be though if coffee was your worst vice. Surely life should be slightly more reckless than that. Might get in the way of all the ambling though.

Ten Day Challenge

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

My last Ten Day Challenge involved no news at all for, well, ten days. I’ve decided to do another one. If truth could be told I put the name of this in italics with capitals because I imagine it must be a thing and if I searched online I would find all kind of Ten Day Challenges. I won’t look though because if I do and I find loads of people do these kind of things then instinctively I won’t want to do any ever again. I may even wish I hadn’t confessed to the world, or at least the three people who read this, that I partake in such things. I remember months ago at the beginning of lockdown I wrote a piece on running the 5K Challenge. I can’t say for sure I hadn’t heard about it beforehand and allowed it to slip from my conscious mind, but a week after writing about my ordeals running five kilometres, and after giving it the name 5K Challenge, everyone started talking about their times in the 5K Challenge. Either I’m a trend setter and an influencer, or most likely I’ve picked up the name from somewhere and not realised it. Either way when I discovered it was a thing I wished I hadn’t been so uncool, written about it and publicly acknowledged my participation in something. Next I’ll be pouring ice buckets over my head. So either I ignore the possibility that the world is already familiar with a multitude of Ten Day Challenges, that Instagram probably already did it to death years ago, that I’m actually far less cool than I want to be or I just remain in a ignorant bubble.

All that and I haven’t even told you what I’m doing. The longest and least interesting waffle of a build-up in history. Drum roll please…in an entirely original and never done before way, let’s forget Dry January or Sober October, I’m going to give up alcohol for the next ten days. It’s not as if I’ve become an alcoholic but at the beginning of lockdown I saw so many people embracing the beautiful weather and buying a lot of alcohol. I felt that even though I was working still I shouldn’t miss out on the pleasure of drinking at home. As if I too was on holiday, I joined the fun. Warm weather makes me want to drink, when I’m abroad I drink more during the day and over these last few months the weather in this usually cold and miserable country has inspired an increase in my alcohol consumption. It’s been a while, let’s be honest probably long before lockdown, that I went ten days without a drink but I’m about to finish day two of ten. Today was such a lovely warm and sunny day, it would have been perfect to quench my thirst with a nice cold beer but I stood firm, allowing only pure unrefined water to touch my lips. What a hero yet again. I’m glad I’m the only one ever to have managed such an achievement.

The Real Lord Of The Flies

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

I awoke this morning to discover I had been sent the same link to an article by two different people. Interestingly enough they both share the same birthday just to add an extra layer of intrigue. This then is an article in the Guardian about ‘the real Lord Of The Flies‘; as they describe the story of six boys in the 1970s who found themselves stranded on a small island off Tonga for eighteen months. Incidentally I mentioned William Golding, the author of the dystopian novel that inspired the article, just the other day when I discussed one of his plays. The Lord Of The Flies is a great story, and like others I found his ability to get inside the psyche of these boys and explore the depths of human behaviour remarkable. It helped he was a Headmaster at a school, and according to this article a depressed alcoholic who sometimes beat his own kids. It suddenly becomes clearer why he had such little faith in the fictional children he created working together towards any kind of positive outcome. They really were the naughty little archetypal child of his time, this being the 1950s.

The article is quite interesting though because it raises the prospect that in fact the inevitable outcome of such a scenario is not death and destruction as these kids from the real version proved. Over the course of their eighteen stranded months they managed to exist in their own structured, disciplined and harmonious little world. They worked together and despite some serious incidents managed to all survive intact and healthy. The article is adapted from a new book by Rutger Bregman called Humankind, he previously wrote the relatively well known Utopia For Realists which I haven’t read but I hear is very good. He is attempting to change the narrative to one that shows “how much stronger we are if we can lean on each other” than the tired old one which convinces us we’re a destructive animal destined to ultimately destroy ourselves. There are and continue to be many stories out there of us working together when required, and the fact we have survived this far shows we must have been and still are capable of this cooperation.

It is important to mention though that clearly society is full of psychopaths and all it would take is for one person in the group to adopt that position for events to take another turn, as Lord Of The Flies demonstrates. In many cases then it turns out luck plays a defining role, the luck of who else you would find yourself stranded with. Perhaps if we knew a little more about how to handle such situations, to resolve a destructive element, we may be a little better prepared but how to do that is beyond my limited knowledge. Still narratives clearly can and need to be redrawn if we are ever to come together and survive as a species to benefit of all life on earth. Perhaps it’s time to see whether we can feasibly translate one of these micro examples onto the world at large.

So Very Thirsty These Days

Hamar Williams1 Comment

I think I’m evolving into one of those people who drinks a little every evening after work. Socially acceptable middle class alcoholism or something like that. When I get in from making pizzas I really enjoy a couple of beers. I takes the edge off lets say. Thankfully I only make pizzas three days a week but I’m aware of that craving for a drink and how much of a habit it becomes to feel it and then satiate it. Saying that in the grand scheme of things I’m probably drinking less over all than if I went to the pub and had a drinking session. Admittedly these don’t really seem to happen a great deal anymore but still the point remains.

Why do I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t be doing then. Is drinking two or three beers on my own when I get in somehow socially unacceptable now. Should I be ashamed of doing this. Why do I feel I need to be sneaky about it, although I’m obviously not, there’s certainly something that makes me want to keep it hidden. Have societies pressures finally got to me. If I had a girlfriend or flat mate it would be acceptable to come back and have a couple of drinks, so being a solitary drinker of two drinks is the issue. I genuinely don’t know what makes me feel like this is something I shouldn’t be doing. I used to be wild – says every thirty-four year old ever – and now I’m experiencing these thoughts and emotions about something so normal. Strange times.

But it would be wrong to mention this desire for a drink without raising awareness of addiction. In this case sugar addiction. I’m not saying alcoholism isn’t a very real thing but having observed that feeling of desire and necessity I have noticed that sometimes I crave alcohol in times when I’m also craving something sweet. If I give up the sugar for a week lets say, I very quickly lose interest in having a drink and it is undeniable the two are related. Anyone who has ever said “Oh I really needed that” after taking that first large gulp of their pint is feeding some addiction somewhere and it would be foolish to deny the existence of sugar in beer. People know and acknowledge the issue with sugar in alcoholic drinks but rarely do they seem to relate the connection between sugar addiction and alcohol consumption. Let’s see how this evolves in these changing times.