Tag: alcohol

Ten Day Challenge

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My last Ten Day Challenge involved no news at all for, well, ten days. I’ve decided to do another one. If truth could be told I put the name of this in italics with capitals because I imagine it must be a thing and if I searched online I would find all kind of Ten Day Challenges. I won’t look though because if I do and I find loads of people do these kind of things then instinctively I won’t want to do any ever again. I may even wish I hadn’t confessed to the world, or at least the three people who read this, that I partake in such things. I remember months ago at the beginning of lockdown I wrote a piece on running the 5K Challenge. I can’t say for sure I hadn’t heard about it beforehand and allowed it to slip from my conscious mind, but a week after writing about my ordeals running five kilometres, and after giving it the name 5K Challenge, everyone started talking about their times in the 5K Challenge. Either I’m a trend setter and an influencer, or most likely I’ve picked up the name from somewhere and not realised it. Either way when I discovered it was a thing I wished I hadn’t been so uncool, written about it and publicly acknowledged my participation in something. Next I’ll be pouring ice buckets over my head. So either I ignore the possibility that the world is already familiar with a multitude of Ten Day Challenges, that Instagram probably already did it to death years ago, that I’m actually far less cool than I want to be or I just remain in a ignorant bubble.

All that and I haven’t even told you what I’m doing. The longest and least interesting waffle of a build-up in history. Drum roll please…in an entirely original and never done before way, let’s forget Dry January or Sober October, I’m going to give up alcohol for the next ten days. It’s not as if I’ve become an alcoholic but at the beginning of lockdown I saw so many people embracing the beautiful weather and buying a lot of alcohol. I felt that even though I was working still I shouldn’t miss out on the pleasure of drinking at home. As if I too was on holiday, I joined the fun. Warm weather makes me want to drink, when I’m abroad I drink more during the day and over these last few months the weather in this usually cold and miserable country has inspired an increase in my alcohol consumption. It’s been a while, let’s be honest probably long before lockdown, that I went ten days without a drink but I’m about to finish day two of ten. Today was such a lovely warm and sunny day, it would have been perfect to quench my thirst with a nice cold beer but I stood firm, allowing only pure unrefined water to touch my lips. What a hero yet again. I’m glad I’m the only one ever to have managed such an achievement.

BR#8 – One For The Road

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I still refer to these as book reviews when if we’re all honest they’re probably something else. What they actually are I’ll leave to the annuls of history to decide but in the meantime and for the sake of form they’ll continue to be book reviews. I am reviewing plays seemingly more regularly than books too, although a play is still arguably a book, but with One For The Road by Harold Pinter being a one act play, only sixteen pages long, it’s more of a pamphlet than anything else. It’s so short in fact that when I finished reading it I decided to read it again, just because, well, why not.

One For The Road is set in what I assume is some kind of headquarters of the secret police under a totalitarian regime. The man in charge refers to patriots so you can imagine nationalism plays a role but he refers to god more often which makes me believe this is some Christian fundamentalist regime on par with Margaret Atwood‘s The Handmaid’s Tale. That probably just exposes my ignorance of a better relatable example and a sign of my being lazy. It also ignores the general complicity of the Church in right wing totalitarian states in our history so it could just be a simple case of something along those lines.

The story revolves around what can be classed as interviews between someone of importance, potentially the head of the secret police, and individually the three members of a family taken in for interrogation. The father / husband, wife / mother and their son. The man is beaten and while he challenges his interrogator slightly he generally remains silent and passive. It is likely they have all been arrested because of his political activity. The woman talks more, although there are more direct questions and it is revealed she is being repeatedly raped. Her father is also revealed to be a national hero, a heroic soldier who fought and died in some war that presumably led to the establishment of this state. While the boy who is only seven we discover spat at and kicked the arresting soldiers when they came to his house. At the end he is referred to in the past tense. The interrogator is constantly pouring himself drinks and suggesting it’s one for the road but the implications are more that this will be one for the road before they are released. This of course doesn’t come and there is something chilling in this psychological torture too. That is basically the story, which I’ve now given away but in such a crude manner I’ve not gone near to doing it justice.

I know very little about Harold Pinter beyond his name. I did study Drama for my A-Levels at school but like everything was left incredibly unimpressed by any teachings provided, although my lack of effort and involvement mustn’t be discounted. It is only now as I get older that I start to understand that these things can actually be enjoyable. It is short and I would be curious how and in what circumstances the play would be performed. There are a lot of pauses so potentially they would make better use of them than I did but it was a good introduction to his work. I look forward to reading some more, maybe even a full length one next time. He certainly appears to be someone I could get into.

So Very Thirsty These Days

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I think I’m evolving into one of those people who drinks a little every evening after work. Socially acceptable middle class alcoholism or something like that. When I get in from making pizzas I really enjoy a couple of beers. I takes the edge off lets say. Thankfully I only make pizzas three days a week but I’m aware of that craving for a drink and how much of a habit it becomes to feel it and then satiate it. Saying that in the grand scheme of things I’m probably drinking less over all than if I went to the pub and had a drinking session. Admittedly these don’t really seem to happen a great deal anymore but still the point remains.

Why do I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t be doing then. Is drinking two or three beers on my own when I get in somehow socially unacceptable now. Should I be ashamed of doing this. Why do I feel I need to be sneaky about it, although I’m obviously not, there’s certainly something that makes me want to keep it hidden. Have societies pressures finally got to me. If I had a girlfriend or flat mate it would be acceptable to come back and have a couple of drinks, so being a solitary drinker of two drinks is the issue. I genuinely don’t know what makes me feel like this is something I shouldn’t be doing. I used to be wild – says every thirty-four year old ever – and now I’m experiencing these thoughts and emotions about something so normal. Strange times.

But it would be wrong to mention this desire for a drink without raising awareness of addiction. In this case sugar addiction. I’m not saying alcoholism isn’t a very real thing but having observed that feeling of desire and necessity I have noticed that sometimes I crave alcohol in times when I’m also craving something sweet. If I give up the sugar for a week lets say, I very quickly lose interest in having a drink and it is undeniable the two are related. Anyone who has ever said “Oh I really needed that” after taking that first large gulp of their pint is feeding some addiction somewhere and it would be foolish to deny the existence of sugar in beer. People know and acknowledge the issue with sugar in alcoholic drinks but rarely do they seem to relate the connection between sugar addiction and alcohol consumption. Let’s see how this evolves in these changing times.

Stress

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I think I’m suffering from a little stress. I won’t say what but I’ve been working on a little project recently and it should have it’s first day on Friday. There’s stuff still to arrange and what I have so far I don’t think is good enough. Humour me because I’m clearly not giving away any information. Anyway today I have been in the most ridiculous mood. I nearly lost my shit in the bank because I was trying to set something up and despite this thing being through the bank the two women had never heard of it. I wasn’t rude to them because what’s the point and also I must admit I forgot some of the information I was supposed to bring, internally though I was smashing the place up. I let it all out once back in the car. Genuinely I was quite surprised at how pissed off I was. What is obvious is that I was just angry with myself for being stupid and not bringing the necessary paperwork but even then I was surprised at the level of anger I felt even when I was fully aware it was against myself.

I’ll be the first to admit that in the last ten plus years I’ve only had a handful of stressful situations. I never found travelling difficult because there was always a solution. It’s situations in which I would be on show and could mess up that would be the worst. Exams for example. This thing starting on Friday though is important but not especially. I’m not even sure what I’m stressing about really or why I’m getting myself in such a state if it’s not stress. I just don’t know how people manage to deal with stressful situations. You hear about ways people manage it but I don’t really know my way. Maybe thats the problem, I lack a way. I once thought meditation would be good but I never stuck at it. People drink or smoke but probably best if I avoid that route. Maybe I just need to get a boxing bag and sweat it out, that could work, it’ll have a duel function too.

The strange thing is I can’t really describe what it is I really mean by my reaction or whether it’s stress. I don’t really get flustered and usually I manage to do what I need to do relatively straightforwardly but I’ve been on an rampage mode today all the same. It also hasn’t allowed me to actually focus and carry out the necessary tasks I needed to do even though I feel in my mind if I just sat down and focused on them I could bash it out. As I say this I wonder then if it is a case of using the energy, learning to harness it. This out of control monster is simply the result of out of control energy. I have the energy and the desire for the project but the mind lacks focus, the mind is not in control. Perhaps then my way will involve me learning how to manage the wild energy, is that the way though or is that finding a way to find a way. Circles again. I just need to find a harness for that dragon. Easy.

Relax…All Will Be Fine

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As someone who has spent time abroad and socialised with people who do not either serve food or run hotels, it has long been brought to my attention that the British people have somewhat of a reputation for consuming large quantities of alcohol. While I don’t deny others countries do drink large amounts too, or at least the fun ones do, we, along with the Irish come to think of it, are renowned for being the drunks of Europe. This then seems to have been confirmed with the latest news relating to the lockdown we’re facing in the UK.

There has been much debate about what exactly should be classed as an essential service and it’s one of those issues that nearly every wannabe expert has an opinion on. Construction sites for example have been a highly controversial issue because while they can’t ban construction that relates to potential virus related work, the guy building the patio next door could probably not be classed as essential and immediately necessary. It would be nice to sit out in the sun with a nice gin and tonic while isolating though come to think of it, so that’s a toughie. We have though taken it to a level that only the comics writing this black comedy could have dreamt of. As the country battles a world wide pandemic; Off Licences of all things have been deemed as being of the utmost importance and essential to the smooth running of the country. For those from countries that use other names an off licence is what we call our bottle shops / liquor shops / alcohol shops. Yes they serve but one purpose.

It is important in times like this to be honest and admit there is something absurd about this that makes me proud. Cultures need something that sets them apart from each other; the Italians talk incessantly, the Greeks argue for pleasure and the French are arseholes, but that is there thing, that is their national identity they take it out into the world. As the south of Spain can attest we export drunks and even in times of crisis we are sticking to this national identity. It makes me proud we’re being true to ourselves. How are we supposed to suffer through at least three weeks of isolation? Stuck inside homes with partners we hate and kids we have to love? So much energy has been put into avoiding our families and we find ourselves forced into their company. Without the ability to keep a steady level of intoxication it may be worth going out in public and catching the virus just to get some space. The British people can not be told to do something, the inner child comes out and they insist on the opposite even if they don’t really want it. All those poor soles who were forced to leave the cities and endure serene villages and countryside over the weekend simply because they had been told to stay indoors. At least give to poor bastards alcohol. Just imagine the damage a sober populace could do, I’m so relieved they saw sense.

Different Shades Of Grey

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It is interesting what methods people use to work or be creative. I remember I used to know someone who when studying preferred to be in busy noisy areas as it allowed her to concentrate; so the cafe section of the library over the quiet floor. I’ve often known people to play music while they study as it seems to help them focus and there are numerous studies backing this up. I have tried with classical music, which is usually the style of choice in these research, and found that of all types of sounds I could listen to it is probably the one that helps the most. It has something to do with the affect it has on your brain or something like that, the internet could probably inform me accurately but I am lazy to check. Certain music though I can’t study or write with and that is when I can hear words because I find them distracting as I follow along. In reality though I’m a silence man. I wonder what it is that leads one person to favour one way over another. I can only imagine it has something to do with upbringing and the environment you grew up studying in. My inability to study and use any possible excuse to be distracted probably led me to my silent necessities and I imagine someone who grew up in a noisy domestic environment but still studied around this probably searches this out.

That is the setting though but what about using certain things to assist us. I’ve met many a sophisticated wanker who loves the affect a glass of red wine has alongside a good book or while scribbling down words. He takes a sip out of his cup of red wine before continuing. Certainly though too much alcohol only hinders this process but I remember reading something a few years back that suggested the best combination was to have an alcoholic drink to relax the mind subsequently allowing it to be more creative and then a cup of coffee to give it the energy and focus required to implement the creativity. It’s not impossible to see some validity in this. I sometimes enjoy a little smoke and then attempt to write down some thoughts, but I could never study this way as the mind is all over the place. Equally if I am attempting to write something that I don’t want to be illegible nonsense despite appearing to be wisdom at the time then I really couldn’t smoke. I could though play the guitar as I just like to mess around on that and do it for the pleasure in the moment not with the intention of attempting to create anything for anyone else. I don’t though feel the desire to pick it up when sober so definitely smoking helps this.

It’s just interesting because everybody is so different and requires such different surroundings to achieve the same end result. We are also so varied in the way differing things affect us and how we manage to respond to them in regards alternate versions of output. Maybe I should have a smoke one day and try writing something on here, that could be an interesting addition, it may also be pretty obvious but also magically creative. It is just fascinating to see how different everyone is and depressing to see how we try and force everyone into boxes or group them all into either black or white. Education has a lot to do with this and it’s always very interesting to meet people who have been through alternative types of schooling because they have such different ways of resolving issues that arise. Time has many answers, hopefully we someday stumble upon the one which allows us to discover whichever shade of grey we are in between.

Salt Water Cleanse

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You were warned earlier in the week that this day would come, and just like we’re seeing what’s happening in Australia when warnings are ignored, I’m about to write an intimate piece on my bowels. You may remember that I said my first attempt at making my own beer had failed and how it had forced me to become well acquainted with any nearby toilet I could find, well this went on until arguably Thursday. Yesterday my guts still seemed to be arguing with each other and because it had been a while today seemed like a good day for a clean.

There are various articles online describing more or less the same approach to a salt water cleanse. I learnt how to do it at a Rainbow Gathering in the Tasmanian bush about eight years ago and then discovered it again when doing a yoga course in India. I had a few years before this tried colonic hydrotherapy so lets say I’ve always been a fan. When I arrived in Australia I came from Burma and at some point in my month there I had eaten something which only upset my stomach for a couple of days but gave me the most horrendous smelly farts. A friend described it as if I was just oozing rot and decay with each puff. When I heard of the shitting / salt water cleanse workshop I was all in. Let’s just say I saw things that day that’ll never leave me, scars imprinted in the recesses of memory. A boy became a man.

It’s quite a simple procedure actually. It is important to do this on an empty stomach, so a light meal the night before and perform the cleanse prior to breakfast. Boil two litres of water, dissolve 2-3 teaspoons of mineral salt per litre – very important here not to use ordinary table salt as minerals in proper salt are important – and let it cool so it is warm but comfortable to drink. You drink half a litre and then do a series of five different yoga asanas dynamically, in repetitions of eight per asana, to help the water move through the body. These asanas are; Tadasana, Tiryaka Tadasana, Kati Chakrasana, Tiryaka Bhujangasana and Udarakarshanasana, I haven’t put them as links because I’m lazy and you’re capable of pressing copy and paste into an internet search engine. You then drink another half litre and repeat until you feel it impossible to hold in. Usually for me that is a litre and a half, but first couple of times was two litres. Even once you have released the trap door that first time I would still recommend you continuing to work through the asanas to help flush anything else out. Whatever stays inside of you will just be urinated out and I’m sure it’ll do the urethra no harm getting a little cleanse too.

I’m not suggesting for a second I’m a doctor and there are all sorts of articles online making all kinds of claims regarding health and mental improvement. I make no comment on them either way as I only know what I have experienced which is that when required it does seem to have completely flushed out whatever was inside my gut doing all the damage. In the early days too I did notice that it was a good indicator of foods which maybe didn’t suit me, such as dairy products which I immediately felt a little sick from and interestingly alcohol which I lost all desire for. I have ignored both those messages from my body clearly but it was interesting to see and maybe one day I’ll do something about them. The only thing I would say which could be a potential negative is that if it is flushing out the bad bacteria does that mean it is also flushing out the good bacteria, and that must be a genuine concern which I unfortunately don’t know the answer to. I have just started to read a book called Gut by Giulia Enders which seems really interesting, I am going to email her and see if she has any insight that she may like to share with me. It is also important to stress that for the rest of the day eating a very plain diet is important as the stomach has just gone through quite the workout. I have just enjoyed the most delicious soaked oats.

Merry Christmas

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Its three o’clock in the afternoon on Christmas Day and I’m only having my first drink now. Strangely late for such a typically drunken day, usually my first is with breakfast. It’s funny how today has become such a day of drunken silliness. It’s most people’s day off and what is the one way we now to relax, drink. That is not me being critical either because I actually don’t mind at all, may even be one of my more favourite traditions. The plan today had been to escape to the pub pre-dinner for a few but it appears that there is one thing more important for the Irish than alcohol, apologies for such a ridiculous stereotype, and that is family. Unlike Scotland, there are no pubs open today and while I complain for my personal loss I commend them for not selling their arse entirely like we have, at least for one day. I should find out whether restaurants or pubs with food are open for traditional Christmas lunches for people but I doubt it too.

No real dramas today yet either except for my dog attempting to eat one of the children which was not ideal. I’m hoping for some boardgames later, it’s usually the only day of the year I can persuade my Dad to play something like that so I take full advantage. Most games these days I don’t know though as it seems to be big business again and they’re pumping them out too fast to keep up with. Trivial pursuit was always my favourite but that seems to have fallen by the wayside, and I’ll suspend my avoidance of dice game or any game involving luck for this day only.

There was an article someone had put up on Facebook today which I never bothered reading but it was about the various versions of middle class Christmas we’re experiencing and for sure the one I play will be there. Again, this is not a criticism, it is what it is and I love Christmas, mine is generally a pleasant one, so how could I criticise. It’s more amusing is all. I am currently hiding away in my room writing this and my Dad keeps bringing beers through to me, he is good, he performs a very vital role on these days in particular. Thing is now though I think I could very easily have myself a little pre-dinner nap just to charge the batteries, I’ve certainly not slept enough over these last few days.

That’s it really, I haven’t got much to say today. It’s just Christmas you know.

Coffee

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The time is 17.09 and I’m drinking a coffee. I enjoy coffee, sometimes I really enjoy it and most days it’s the thing that quietens the screams, makes me feel normal again and allows me to start the day. One liberating moment in life is the one in which your ego gets kicked in the balls as you realise you are not unique, there is with certainty at least one other human being, most likely about one billion, that does, thinks or enjoys the same things as you. In the instance of my relation to coffee the one billion number seems inadequate, because – standing up in the circle – I am an addict. What is interesting with this though is that circle contains over seven billion people because I guarantee there is not one person on earth who is not addicted to something, whether that is coffee, heroin, sugar, running or self-deprecation, everyone out there has that something that makes them feel normal again.

Of course I suspect I know little about addiction in general and mean not to offend as this is understandably an emotive topic, but I have my own observations of myself and although that is only one reality, it is not always easy to go on anything else. There have been times when I have had addictions to cigarettes and considering the fact I crave them for a moment as I think about this it is perhaps the case that addictions never really leave you. Renton certainly said something along those lines about heroin. Then there have been times that I’ve just needed a beer but I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic. Part of that necessity was possibly the sugar in the beer or dehydration, but it could very easily have been the habit of consuming that beer be that after work or by the beach on a hot day.

A friend of mine goes to the pub most afternoons and drinks three or four pints but he very rarely drinks anywhere else. He told me once that having grown up with parents running numerous pubs it was more the environment he was going for than the alcohol. After spending a month hanging out with him, it became clear that this repetition was habitual as much as anything else. If changing environment changes habits and is recognised as a way to get over certain addictions, then there must be a link. Is addiction nothing more than habit, our habitual response to a perceived need in the moment.

Perhaps this is common knowledge and I’m just catching up. Perhaps I’m oversimplifying a complex issue. But perhaps we should start focusing more on our habitual responses and we won’t simply find a new thing to be addicted to every time we overcome the other.