Tag: adapt

To Find True Freedom

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

We get used to things. I’ve discussed habits probably as much as anything else on here but this is slightly different. This would be more about adapting. We adapt to our environment then. When we stay in one place or in one environment long enough it becomes normal and we find a way to at the very least survive. In the extreme you could have someone going from a position of power and wealth to one of poverty and subjugation, think of any successful class based revolution for example. If they didn’t end up getting their head chopped off, end up in front of a firing squad or find a way of smuggling themselves out of the country; there is a good chance they would have to either adapt to their new way of live or die. That then is an extreme example and for me right now I am as far from that as I can think. I have adapted to my surroundings though, my admittedly comfortable surroundings.

For me this adaptation has been more about a change in a way of life. Having spent ten years as a traveller living wild and being free – that is the version my romanticised ego would like to portray – I found myself in this little village by the seaside. It was only supposed to be a couple of months, the winter at most with spring bringing new adventures. There is no need to go over this years events but as I’ve previously discussed they have been habit changing to say the least. Now though I potentially change these new habits again and see whether further ones are created or old ones return. Today is Friday, on Sunday I leave my home by the sea.

Undoubtedly there has been a lot I’ve enjoyed about life here. I’m beside the sea and when not rammed with summer tourists it’s slow and chilled out. It is though a bit backwards and insular which is enough to push me away, but it has also shown me enough to imagine a new way of life is possible. There were many times in my past travelling in which I openly admitted to being exhausted and tired of constantly moving and packing but I also really enjoyed the discovery and constant new in front of my eyes. I’m still after all this time like a child when I see something previously unseen. This time has made me realise I am in my heart a wandering traveller. It has also made me realise how easily I could settle somewhere too given the right conditions. It’s all about balance apparently. This mythical never been seen or fully understood beast called balance. But you can’t have balance when you want it all.

As I pack my now enlarged pile of stuff I realise I am happy to move on while also not being entirely keen on the exhaustive side of this moving on. The stepping into the unknown excites and the prospect of being free is overjoying. As I would have discussed yesterday though had I not got distracted by Miley Cyrus, freedom is an entirely mental construct. We need to find freedom internally, allow the mind to accept the ever increasing randomness of existence and responsibly live in the moment. It doesn’t matter whether you’re stuck in the endless toil of menial labour or sailing the ocean. Admittedly one is probably easier to feel free in and we can do ourselves favours with the environment we exist in, but as I said, it’s how we approach existence that matters. One more moment before the next then in this constantly testing journey to free the mind. Maybe that would be a good habit to create. I already have the key after all. I could get used to finally being free. Just be careful not to want it too much.

A Bright Sun Shining Day

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This sunshine is really starting to become a positive factor in life. April was torturous stuck inside while we embraced another new the hottest month on record from our living rooms and through our windows. But now that we’re all free(ish) it’s time to get out there and live again. I usually tell people I meet abroad that the best time to visit Scotland is April and May but that usually one of them is sunny and the other raining. This year it seems to be a bit of both, both sunny that is. It’s also worth remembering it’s nearly June. It’s also a bit shocking then that we have had this virus running about since March, over two months ago. Maybe some will disagree but it doesn’t feel like it’s dragged, we now have a new normal and I didn’t even see it coming.

It is scary in how easily we can just get used to new conditions in our lives, how society can become something completely different and we just get on with it. It can’t be a surprise to anyone that dictatorships slowing ebb into creation out of once semi-healthy societies. This new normal the Health Secretary was talking about. On the other hand it’s also a wonderful thing because there is something incredible in our collective ability to adapt. I’m sure it’s less our brains that have helped humans survive and thrive until this point than our ability to adapt to new events and circumstance. That ability could though be down to our big brains. Although it would also be our ability to adapt that gave our brains the chance to develop and become big in the first place. So like usual it’s a little bit of everything and I’m risking going both back and forth, and in a circle at the same time.

It would be impossible to mention all this glorious weather without mentioning climate change of course. It’s not impossible but it’s not always easy to sit there enjoying all this sunshine and warmth, remembering that it wasn’t always this way. Beautiful though it is it’s also probably going to kill us all and those big brains won’t be much use then. That was probably an unnecessary downer but it’s always such an effort to find that balance between downer and realism, unless realism is the downer. I’m sure we’ll be able to adapt, we’ll find a way. It’s just a shame we’ll have to adapt and leave this beautiful world behind to survive in a world of floods, deserts and food crisis’. I will say though it does make me want to drink cider. Lots of lovely cold cider.

A Fine Pinnacle Of Existence

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Two Magnum ice creams and a choux bun, I’m not doing very well in my attempts at cutting down on sugar. I work in a bakery and make pizzas which means I’m surrounded by food that isn’t going to do my health a lot of good. Without doubt I’ll make myself a pizza at one point and probably one of the burgers we sell too. Throw in the little cakes or chocolate slices that are just lying around crying out to be eaten and my time in this job is becoming bad for my health. It doesn’t help when I then go to the supermarket, something takes over my mind and I start dreaming of cream cakes. Out of nowhere I somehow manage to rationalise with myself why I might as well buy it because of whatever genius idea I come up with at the time. And it is genius, or at least it appears to be. Perhaps more of a flawed genius then.

It is remarkable how despite the best of intentions, upon entering somewhere that contains tasty and unhealthy food, we immediately give in to our base desires. Life is certainly easier that way but I doubt it’s better. I think I’m not alone in this. In fact I know I’m not. But then I say that with everything. No matter what you’re experiencing someone else has or is also experiencing it. When it comes to giving in to our desires, well society is based upon that. The foundations of our current existence are built upon how easily we will give in to our wants. Our needs are important but there’s nothing like an ice cream to distract us from whatever unpleasant necessity that keeps on prodding us.

The strange thing is I have the discipline to write this each day but not to resist the chocolate eclairs. I lack the discipline to resist something that I have a slight allergic reaction to and which makes me slightly puffy and pink. Once more my own fallibility slaps me in my little puffy face and I just carry on. Beyond not eating the cream, what can I do. If I’m going to carry on doing it why beat myself up about it. But I do, because I’m human. It’s really hard being human, it seems to just be one series of cockups after another. Yet we survive, despite the odds we’re adaptable. I’ll eat the ice cream but then make sure I eat plenty of green vegetables. It balances out and I reach the level of fine. It really is the pinnacle of existence in these strange times.

Don’t Taste The Wasp Twice

Hamar WilliamsLeave a comment

We as a species have an inbuilt response to new things, we fear them. There is a practical reason for that and it is rational; new is unknown and unknown could mean danger. As a species we have managed to survive, adapt and evolve to the point we’re at in our evolutionary cycle. I don’t doubt one reason for our success so far has been down to instinctively following that practical approach mentioned above. Is it instinctive though? When we are young children we try to touch or eat anything new, it appears we sense next to no danger in anything, yet as adults we have become cautious if not neurotically fearful. That would suggest we are taught to fear new and unknown things but then puppies and adult dogs mirror human growth fear patterns too. Perhaps puppies learn new can mean danger because sometimes they experience the pain of discovering new things, like the taste of a wasp, or a dogs parenting is just not something obvious to my untrained eyes. Can we then take that further and use it to explain why we are so weary of new sources of information, or even new information that may contradict our previously held beliefs.

I suppose it is probably quite a straightforward idea, we distrust new sources because they are unknown and we haven’t built up a relationship of trust with them. We reject new information because our current beliefs are known to us and with them we have so far survived to this point in life. With them we have safety and life, potentially this unknown new information may lead to danger and the taking away of either our safety or in the extreme our life. There is also the issue of narrative to take into consideration, what doesn’t fit our narrative we are likely to dismiss but I’ll not go down that avenue this time.

I was sent a link to a video on YouTube by a friend who has a differing set of ideals and beliefs about how best we should approach the world than I do. I rarely bother engaging him in discussion anymore because neither of us come close to seeing the others perspective and I always end it feeling exhausted and frustrated that I’ve wasted an evening arguing with a brick wall. When I received this video I assumed immediately it would relate to one of his points previously made, which it did, and in my mind I had already rejected it before even contemplating watching it. My initial response was to see it was a YouTube video and dismiss it as worthless. There are many useful videos on YouTube and I have taught myself how to do all sorts of things through them, but videos of a political or social nature are quite often just a pile of tosh. I had already rejected the point because of the source platform. I decided to watch it a little, not the full one hour because I have better things to do, and did some research on the speaker and his organisation. Seemingly they are of a different persuasion to me but I still watched and tried to listen to the message. After ten disagreeable minutes I gave up because I found him frustrating, it appears you can’t argue with a pre-recorded person. I do understand why angry people comment now but I still refuse to get involved in that game. Ultimately my point is that I like to think I gave the speaker the opportunity and I listened with a clear mind but it’s not easy when you already think the platform the information is on and the source of the information are unreliable and bullshit.

Absorbing new information is clearly an incredibly challenging task. We struggle to absorb anything that is new because it is unknown and potentially dangerous, and we struggle to accept anything contradictory to our present set of beliefs as it challenges what has so far kept us safe. The YouTube example above is an easy one to dismiss because the contents and the platform are like the Daily Star of video journalism but sometimes we get contradictory information from credible sources and this can be hard to accept and equally dismiss.

The more I delve into these things the more I’m starting to realise just how hard, if not impossible, it is being some kind of discerning, moral and decent person. Here I am, just like yesterday back to the fallible human. Is failure what makes us human, or perhaps the ability to recognise and improve on our past failures. It is okay to be fallible. It is unavoidable clearly, but is it only acceptable if and when we try and avoid repeat failure. Being conscious of our previous failures, accepting that they are inevitable and pushing on in the search of perfection, or at the very least an acceptable success. Don’t try and taste the wasp twice, it’s all so simple now, if only I had realised that earlier.