A Harmonious Existence

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Having walked into the living room and seeing the television was on, in particular the news, I was left in no doubt we live in disharmony. This does sound like one of those “well duh” statements but then as we seem so determined not to do anything about it maybe it isn’t quite so obvious as first thought. The headline story was a fire breaking out in Moria refugee camp on the Greek Island of Lesvos. They avoided throwing accusations out there but it’s pretty clear there will be plenty of legitimate ones involving local fascists, and that is what they are that is not hyperbole. What happens next as over ten thousand people, including thousands of children, spend the foreseeable future living rough on the local hillside is anyone’s guess. This story was followed by a quick report on wild fires raging across California and on the fact they have so far destroyed five whole towns as well as the resulted in the largest financial cost from fire damage in the states history. After this I left the room.

Fire may be the main focus of these stories but one represents our inability to coexist as a species and the other to coexist with the planet. The end result of both will be our own destruction. There is a George Carlin joke about the Earth and humans, I have probably mentioned it on here before, but he suggests the earth will be fine it’s us who’s fucked. The earth will just shake us off like a bad case of the fleas. That is paraphrased of course but the gist is a familiar one. If we’re not living harmoniously with ourselves or our environment we will be the ones to lose out. Countless memes describing the human species as nothing more than a pestilence, the earth has caught a human cold. In a contemporary reference the earth may have just contracted a virus.

How can’t we live in harmony then. It is easy to point out what is wrong with the world and ourselves but to suggest ways to fix this are infinitely harder. We are becoming more polarised and disharmonious on a daily basis, despite the facade of action and rhetoric we’re actually doing less to combat the environmental damage we’re responsible for as a species. Somehow we need to come together once more. Unfortunately we only seem capable of this in times of crisis and while these things are a crisis they perhaps don’t quite seem so in real time. Somehow we need to allow people to continue living their comfortable lives while reducing the harmful affects of them or make them realise other people entering their society are not going to take everything they hold dear. Really I have no answers. Living as an example is one and showing examples on larger scales would be another but all it takes is a few weeks of intense media pressure and all the good work would be undone. In fact about one day would probably be enough. We are so individually disharmonious that how can we ever expect anything to change on a macro scale. Look within you say. Well that’s an interesting angle.

The Law Enforcing Law Breakers

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The British Government are on fire today. We have new Covid-19 laws, in particular one which bans more than six people being together as a group. There are some credible arguments for this but seeing as they’re not applying it to work, shops, sports and a few other financially driven things, it does suggest that while they are concerned with peoples health, they’re more concerned about money. Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of the long term damage done to people’s mental and physical health by shutting down the economy. Restructuring the economy so it was perhaps a little more sustainable and less capitalistic would probably help a lot more in the long term and this is the ideal opportunity but that’s never going to happen at present.

In regards to large changes, I would be curious of the affect of this new law on protests. As a thick line has been drawn on anything that doesn’t make money or involves the arts, surely protesting is now also illegal. After last weeks revealing outrage and ludicrous free speech outcry over Extinction Rebellion’s blockade of certain media outlets known for their rather unscrupulous approach to reporting, as well as their less than compassionate views on poor people and those in need, what would that mean for similar such actions. How do you then define a group? What if a large enough amount of individuals just happened to come together in one spot independently of each other. Anyway, depending on how long this new law is in place, there may be a lot of legal unknowns ahead.

Talking of breaking the law, while our Government is ready to come down hard on us for visiting grandma and taking too many of the children, they’re more than willing to break international law when it suits them. It appears one of the main pillars of their argument on why they should have been reelected may not be so strong after all. Having rushed through the Withdrawal Agreement with the EU just so they could say they had one in place for the election, they have decided to go back on one of the main points of agreement. Apparently their will be no customs checks between Northern Ireland and the British mainland as had been agreed so as to prevent a hard border with the south. This point was critical in getting the Republic of Ireland to agree to the deal because of legitimate fears over it’s affect on the peace process and the Good Friday Agreement.

It’s all part of the governments attempts at pushing through the Internal Markets Bill, which the Scottish and Welsh governments also view as a power grab and one which directly challenges elements of their respective devolution’s. One Welsh Conservative MP has already resigned over the issue. They knew they would never be able to come to an agreement with the EU before the election so they just agreed to anything for the sake of reelection. Now they will become law breakers on the very day they demand real sacrifices from their own people under threat of the law. If one day could ever be used to define this government it would be this one. I’m sure it’s not the first time I’ve thought that though. This is only going to get uglier. Watch this space.

The Evil Youth Rise Again

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“Will somebody please think of the children” said a fictional cartoon character exposing my age. They’re at it again but not with such positive intentions. We could focus on the school children who seem to be getting forced back to school. Fear from some as their children go back, ready to not just bring their homework back with them and joy from others ready for a little peace and quiet once more. As usual the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. That’s assuming there is a middle between those two ideas of course. The latest youth that people seem to be thinking about though are not necessarily the kids but those a bit older than them. Today and yesterday it appears the stories started to be pushed by the media that the youth in society are not the most likely to spread the virus. The most likely means they’re ultimately responsible now for every future death and can be used as a scapegoat by anyone from old people on Facebook groups to government ministers attempting to distract from their own ineptitude.

It is easy for the general populace to find someone else to blame. If you’re old you can blame the young and if you’re young you can blame the old. It allows you not to feel responsible for the spread of something that not one particular demographic in society can be blamed for. You may have flash points like in a gym, a bar or a school, but that doesn’t make all eighteen to twenty-five year old’s irresponsible and responsible. This is just another moment in the passing the blame on game of distraction. But then I am just as responsible as anyone else for spreading this virus, I am careful in someways and less so in others, just like everyone, or most people at least. Saying that what I really want to do, and I’m trying to do it without just blaming everyone else while criticising someone for blaming someone else; is blame the government for their ineptitude and constant inability to lead us through what probably is a no win situation, and a mainstream media whipping up fear with one hand and a calming hand over an inept government with the other.

What I dislike is not our inability to do the right thing. It is difficult if not impossible to be doing the right thing during a moment in which all advice is changing daily and all we’re doing is witnessing scientific research in real time. There are no conclusive answers when everything is at the hypothesis stage. What is wrong is how we are using this to our benefits. I include myself because I have used it as a stick to bash a corrupt government. The government though have used it to strengthen their own position and sell off even more of the NHS, give contracts to their mates and threaten the implementation of draconian laws. Opposition parties eventually made it political but in an equally corrupt way and the mainstream media have been scaring and misleading us all just to sell more papers and to continue propping up their people in power. And now it’s the young who are to blame. We’ve found a new group to vilify. Again. A new group to use as the sleight of hand distraction. It’s amazing what people will allow themselves to do in the name of self-interest.

One More Piece Of Track

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I sometimes wonder if I’m obsessed with habits. Partly this comes down to spending years moving around and in a way desiring the time for routine and such things. Not being fixed like a robot but just having a familiarity with how the day will unfold and what that means at certain times. Had I not been in one place these last ten months this whole experiment would have unfolded differently. Certainly I thought the summer pieces would have been full of travel and sailing adventures which would have been interesting but there’s every chance life would have been busy in a different way and possibly affected what has still managed to be one piece a day. Having a routine these ten months has helped this to happen.

I left yesterday then as I mentioned, well, yesterday, and am now at my parents until late next Tuesday. I have plenty of time on my hands now so no excuse not to write this but I am having to adapt to a new routine. That’s not overly challenging but it does require discipline to sit down when I don’t know how the day will unfold. You can’t wait until later in the day because you don’t know how later will unfold. This will likely become even more apparent next week when I find myself in Greece. How my days will unfold is anyone’s guess and like over Christmas when I was in Dublin it will likely be a case of grab any opportunity I can.

The reason I go into this is because I found myself watching random television tonight and being unsure when it would allow me the time to sit down and do this. I was going to write about the documentary on trains I watched but like happens regularly I end up just rambling as I begin writing. Trains are really cool. They influenced local and world events. The Indian railway system allowed for Indian Independence while also in a way being a positive of British rule. That’s one way of spinning it at least. The Brits also tried to build a railway from Cairo to Cape Town and got about half way, through some of the most beautiful and arduous terrain. The Russian Revolution became a possibility as the Railway Union backed the Bolsheviks during the revolution and subsequent civil war. That’s without even mentioning the remarkable Trans Siberian railway. I really want to do the trip from Cape Town to Victoria Falls. Trains are probably my favourite form of transport because they take you through wilderness in a way that roads going from town to town can’t.

I watched this program then and it reminded me how much I enjoy doing things and going places. Is that a habit? The habit of choosing the adventurous option. In a way it’s probably something learnt from what life has provided me until now. I’ve learnt this is not just an option but an option I thrive in. It could also be the habit of running away from the challenge of living a life of repetition and work, the struggles that that involves. Life is but nuance and a multitude of credible and rational explanations it appears after all. And like a slow steam train ambling through countryside, this is but one more section of track in search of the elusive final instalment.

A Piece For Posterity

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When all this is done I’ll probably print these out for myself and save them somewhere. I generally don’t read much of what I’ve written after reading them but one day will sit down and remind myself of how my mind has been thinking this year. I have tried not to just talk about myself and what I’m up to. I’ve tried also not to write too much about politics or whats going on in the world. I thought writing about football could be fun but thought better of doing it here too often. What is interesting about writing everyday though is not necessarily seeing what interests you on a daily basis but seeing what the mind gets caught up on for a period of time.

When Covid-19 started to become a thing I could barely think of anything else to write about for weeks. When our government has been at it’s worst and most corrupt they will be my focus for a week or so. I’ve stopped writing about these people though because their incessant self-serving bullshit provides something new on a daily basis. I’m just bored of being outraged about them, nothing of consequence happens and the following day there’s another scandal that gets brushed under the carpet and forgotten about. Currently I’m perhaps a little too focused on the fact I’m having a little change in my own life.

I mention all this because when I do look back on this one day in the future, I would like to remind myself of today. I moved out. Yesterday I mentioned my hoarding. Today I really discovered that filth can build up in ten months in some hidden places if you’re not regularly cleaning things. I would generally keep on top of things but rarely did I give much a deep clean. Even the fridge was disgusting and genuinely I didn’t even recognise anything until I emptied it and starting cleaning. We simply don’t see things until they’re pointed out, then they become impossible not to see. Why too do we only give flats a good clean when we’re leaving and not able to appreciate living in the cleanliness.

It has been a long day then. I’m back now at my parents for a week as I sort out a few things before heading off. It’ll probably end up being quite busy week here too but a different busy. And I should probably add that I’m also giving this quite uninteresting update because I want to remember the day I was exhausted and discovered late at night just before writing this, having a bath and going to bed, that I accidentally have one of the delivery van keys and I may have to drive over an hour to get it to them. How many times do we leave somewhere or think we’ve finished something and somehow we find ourselves back in it. Even if they do find a spare, which is why it is still ‘may have to’ drive and not definitely drive, I’ll still have to go down tomorrow. This I can live with. It will ruin my first actual day off in months but that is infinitely more tolerable than going off now when I’m struggling to keep my eyes open and can only think of bed. How I love my bed.

The Secret Of The Hoarder

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Today is a day of necessity. It turns out I’m a little bit of a collector of stuff. As I said yesterday I appear to have acquired more stuff this year. The famous George Carlin joke is pretty apt here as since I’ve had a place of my own it has just meant I now have more space for more stuff. This necessity then involves effort and a new type of discipline. What makes today necessary and disciplined is that it’s the day I pack up my stuff and clean the flat. Packing also appears to mean throwing out. I’m not very good at throwing out.

Many years ago now when I was travelling around Australia I had an old Toyota Corolla 1986. I loved her and we shared twenty thousand miles together. I cried a little when I gave her away, my ex girlfriend who I gave it to thought it was over her, I never had the heart to tell her the truth. It was the same story then as now, I had upgraded from a rucksack and was able to use the excess space for more stuff. When I finally left the country after fourteen months I had the unenviable task of emptying and ‘cleaning’ my car. My friends managed to get some really random and cool things I had sniffed out and acquired over the time but I managed to hold on to a few things of importance. One thing I like to mention, and use as an example of why being a hoarder is a valuable trait, were about three or four bungee cords I had picked up at some point but never used and which had lived in the boot of my car the majority of the trip. As I packed everything I could into a rucksack I managed to find space for these bungee cords. It wasn’t as I said because they were a daily necessity in my life but I just knew they would be important one day. Two years later I found myself cycling from Amsterdam to Berlin with a pile of ‘useful’ stuff attached to the back of my bike. How did I attach them I hear you ask, those very bungee cords of course. They came in handy, I knew they always would. And that is the secret of the hoarder.

It is simply the ability to look at something and recognise it’s potential value at a later date. We hardly need much use for things in the moment unless we’re doing something specific but we don’t know what the future holds either. If you can see the potential value in something why would you turn it down or not pick it up. I call it a form of foresight, or maybe it is just straight up foresight.

Today though I need to be strict with myself. It’s Australia all over again but this time I don’t simply have a bag to restrict my worst tendencies, I have the knowledge there’s space in my long suffering parents attic. While in Australia I had to contend with the difficult decision of giving away what was unquestionably the best oilskin sleeping bag I had ever used, especially difficult as I had found it in a black bin bag in the middle of the road. While others drove around I stopped for a look. Now I’m left with decisions at the level of whether I should bother keeping the three black marker pens I’ve never used but might, although probably won’t, especially as I already have a few somewhere in the attic from a previous occasion. I should donate them to someone. I admire minimalists. I think they see the world in a different way through very different eyes. I wonder what they do when they need a set of bungee cords. Surely they have a secret box of stuff somewhere. Like a perversion they keep to themselves.

To Find True Freedom

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We get used to things. I’ve discussed habits probably as much as anything else on here but this is slightly different. This would be more about adapting. We adapt to our environment then. When we stay in one place or in one environment long enough it becomes normal and we find a way to at the very least survive. In the extreme you could have someone going from a position of power and wealth to one of poverty and subjugation, think of any successful class based revolution for example. If they didn’t end up getting their head chopped off, end up in front of a firing squad or find a way of smuggling themselves out of the country; there is a good chance they would have to either adapt to their new way of live or die. That then is an extreme example and for me right now I am as far from that as I can think. I have adapted to my surroundings though, my admittedly comfortable surroundings.

For me this adaptation has been more about a change in a way of life. Having spent ten years as a traveller living wild and being free – that is the version my romanticised ego would like to portray – I found myself in this little village by the seaside. It was only supposed to be a couple of months, the winter at most with spring bringing new adventures. There is no need to go over this years events but as I’ve previously discussed they have been habit changing to say the least. Now though I potentially change these new habits again and see whether further ones are created or old ones return. Today is Friday, on Sunday I leave my home by the sea.

Undoubtedly there has been a lot I’ve enjoyed about life here. I’m beside the sea and when not rammed with summer tourists it’s slow and chilled out. It is though a bit backwards and insular which is enough to push me away, but it has also shown me enough to imagine a new way of life is possible. There were many times in my past travelling in which I openly admitted to being exhausted and tired of constantly moving and packing but I also really enjoyed the discovery and constant new in front of my eyes. I’m still after all this time like a child when I see something previously unseen. This time has made me realise I am in my heart a wandering traveller. It has also made me realise how easily I could settle somewhere too given the right conditions. It’s all about balance apparently. This mythical never been seen or fully understood beast called balance. But you can’t have balance when you want it all.

As I pack my now enlarged pile of stuff I realise I am happy to move on while also not being entirely keen on the exhaustive side of this moving on. The stepping into the unknown excites and the prospect of being free is overjoying. As I would have discussed yesterday though had I not got distracted by Miley Cyrus, freedom is an entirely mental construct. We need to find freedom internally, allow the mind to accept the ever increasing randomness of existence and responsibly live in the moment. It doesn’t matter whether you’re stuck in the endless toil of menial labour or sailing the ocean. Admittedly one is probably easier to feel free in and we can do ourselves favours with the environment we exist in, but as I said, it’s how we approach existence that matters. One more moment before the next then in this constantly testing journey to free the mind. Maybe that would be a good habit to create. I already have the key after all. I could get used to finally being free. Just be careful not to want it too much.

Miley Cyrus

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Of all people, I was drawn to Miley Cyrus as a guest on Joe Rogan’s podcast this morning. He releases a few a week and usually I only listen to them if either I know the person or they sound interesting enough to give a chance to. Miley Cyrus would not traditionally catch my eye as someone I would want to devote two hours of my time to but then sometimes we need to step out of our norms to create new ones. You’re immediately struck with how distinct and surprising her voice is. She sounds gravely. Apparently it has really come into it’s own like this in the last year and I’m sure she said having surgery on her throat affected it. She admits too that having smoked a lot and sung a lot it has also played a part.

I wasn’t sure what to expect although I doubted I would listen to more than twenty minutes. In the end I found myself almost captivated by someone who has clearly grown into quite a likeable person despite how she has been represented in the media for years. Joe Rogan is quite good at this though and it wouldn’t be the first guest he has had on that has managed to improve their public image from it. There are also some who, in my eyes at least, have walked away with no credibility at all, so it can’t just be Rogan and to think otherwise must do a disservice to Cyrus.

She comes from a world apart from ninety-nine percent of the worlds population. The daughter of the country singer Billy Ray Cyrus and the goddaughter of the almost mythical Dolly Parton, she was thrust into the spotlight herself at about twelve years old when she became the star of Disney’s Hannah Montana. She talks of struggling to connect with people and of the affects of growing up in and only knowing such a life. This is where Rogan can expose his own distance from the average listener though and it’s not the first time I’ve felt like I’m listening to two aliens discussing a disconnected unknown world. He has an ability to reach both his listener and his guest but there are moments in which he doesn’t feel like one of us despite attempting to portray himself as such. He is just being honest though and that too is part of his appeal.

The plan for this piece had been to discuss our understanding of freedom and how it is at it’s base entirely in our mind. Some thoughts came to me while listening to this podcasts and mentioning Cyrus was supposed to be my leading into it. Evidently I got a little caught up in what appears to be some kind of new found fandom. I still won’t listen to her music but I will view her in a different light. Miley Cyrus, in my blog. Life truly is all about the unexpected.

Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay

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If there’s one thing I’m good at it’s being distracted from the current book I’m reading with another. I envy these fast readers who can sit down and complete a book in a few days. I’m more of a few weeks to a few months depending on the distractions around me type of person. There’s one book I’ve been reading for nearly a year now, I really enjoy reading it too so it’s not as simple as it may seem at first. I wonder if I’m a victim of how we process entertainment these days. I’m not sure I like calling myself a victim but more I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in the culture of short bitesize moments of pleasure.

I love a website called Aeon – which I’ve written a piece on here about before – that has some incredibly interesting articles. They’re not always a light read, not difficult but sometimes they require more effort than something on a website devoted to football. The articles on there are usually about three to four thousand words and despite knowing they’re interesting and that I can learn from them; a combination of the effort involved in the length and with the mental effort required slightly above minimum, I’ll not always bother. I prefer fiction books to non-fiction even if the topic in the non-fiction is potentially really interesting. Partly this is because I genuinely enjoy stories and the way meaning and message can evolve in this style.

The more I write about this I suspect I’m just lazy and ill disciplined. Aeon requires a bit more effort than football news and non-fiction potentially more than a story to follow and get into. I am leaping from one extreme to the other though, this is never a black and white argument unless I generalise which I seem to have been doing. This piece today was going to be another review and as seems to be a bit of a trend it was going to be a play. Dario Fo‘s Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay to be precise. I’ve mentioned Dario Fo in a previous review of one of his plays, Accidental Death Of An Anarchist. He wrote political and social plays on the whole and this is a large part of what has drawn me to him. Take into consideration everything I have mentioned and you can see what leads me to a play. Something that’ll take me one to two hours to read followed by that rosy sense of accomplishment.

Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay is the story of two couples caught up in different situations in which people push the boundaries of stealing. The prices in the supermarket increase once more so the women riot and take what they want, only paying a minimum compensation to the shop. “I paid half price for half my goods”. While the husbands get caught up in similar as the canteen at work increases the prices and the workers simply serve themselves. Unlike the wives though the husbands take a stance against this seeing it as stealing. What ensues is a comedy involving fake pregnancies, avoiding the law and hypocrisy, all as Fo dissects the moral arguments behind whether there can be such a thing as justifiable theft.

The varying levels of hidden meaning in stories is what draws me to fiction. We can analyse what the playwright or the author intended with certain bits. I may not have appreciated it much at school but it is something I certainly enjoy now. For example, despite not having the most flamboyant of styles, I enjoy Sartre’s fiction far more than his non-fiction, even though they’re both variants of his philosophical discourse. Maybe lazy and ill disciplined is in itself a lazy understanding of something which as I’ve already mentioned is not a black and white issue. Interpretation for me is everything, and can’t pay won’t pay, I suspect I know what I would do.

The Wrong Herd

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There are times we must question whether we are right. Nobody is ever one hundred percent right of course but let’s say more right than wrong. Someone who goes through life always believing themselves to be right in everything may not end up with many friends but could likely have successes in other respects. If someone goes through life always believing themselves wrong, would it be the opposite outcome? Probably unlikely. It must be important to be aware that we may just be wrong though. Is that humility? Maybe self-awareness?

I was thinking of discussing something in the news. One of those fallback pieces in which I decide to deride some politicians for their ineptitude, or an evolution in something on a geopolitical level that arouses some dissatisfaction within me. Usually a complaint of some sort. We’re less likely to be drawn to stories that have a positive and happy narrative remember. Maybe there’s something in that we could learn from. We’re drawn to stories of misery while living lives of misery. Like creates like as they say. Perhaps I should do a new ten day challenge and only write about happy positive things. I’ll probably pass on that one.

Usually the political stories I’m drawn to involve ones bashing the current government in the UK or the US, and commonly the opposition to both governments too. As you can imagine I’m not full of much belief in the political legitimacies of these two countries. Other people though must be. I say must be because not only did enough people vote in the two buffoons holding power but it also appears enough people want to vote in the establishment representatives who will most likely replace them at the next opportunity. When we see a large group of other people doing things we’re inclined to believe they may just be right and we may just be wrong. Herd mentally amongst many other names. It is easy to dismiss these people voting for these two sides as adherents of such a mental state but it’s likely I’m just swayed by another herd that I want to be part of. It’s likely a much smaller herd and one that feeds certain things in my fearful sense of survival but it’s a herd none the less.

With all this then we must all admit we’re being played one way or another. This huge game of power is rattling away as different groups battle it out for moral superiority and likely financial gain one way or another. Money corrupts, power corrupts, everything seems to corrupt, especially morality. Perhaps we’re just a corrupt species and we need to accept it. Or maybe we just need to stop worrying about whatever wrongs are happening in the world and focus on life as it unfolds before us. One extreme to the other yet again. It’s just exhausting that these arseholes continually manage to win power. More so when they’re clearly morally bankrupt and doing a bad job. It’s even possible to imagine things like this could finally defeat me and I stop giving a shit about the world. Maybe just give a shit in a different way. A detached way perhaps, or one that doesn’t get caught up in the hyperbolic nature of power. Or even my own perceived role within all this power. There’s got to be an answer somewhere. I’m sure we’ll see it too when we can finally figure out what it is that has been in front of our eyes all this time.