A Common Moment

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I’m not feeling overly inspired tonight. It’s already hard to think about much other than this virus and I’m bored of writing about it probably nearly as much as you are of reading about it. I could just read up on something else and write about that, I found an interesting looking article on nihilism I’ve been meaning to read and write about for a while but I don’t feel inspired to make the effort. The show must go on though and I must write in here daily. How will I manage if I get this virus, ooft that will be a strange series of pieces. That is the problem with creating the only rule that there must be a daily piece. I’ve been in front of this screen now for a few hours avoiding writing anything and I don’t feel any more inspired having started. I’m just not feeling very positive that’s all and not even in the way that allows for a rant about some corruption or injustice facing the world. Nor the way that allows for the deep ramblings of the wannabe philosopher. Or even the desirous child missing his football.

Really it’s a lack of energy and inspiration. It will pass, all things come to pass but in the meantime the mind is bogged down with little other than an overload of fear. I really can’t wait for this to be over so I can go off on an adventure. I fancy some sailing. That would be nice. In the meantime I’ve just started a new book; One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and that is my current pleasure. Unfortunately it’s about a man in a Stalin era gulag so not exactly something to take my mind off the possibilities of different versions of suffering. I am also not comparing the potential of being stuck alone in a flat for the next month or two to ten years in a soviet gulag but fuck it’s all relevant…an ambiguous phrase as you’ll hear me say today. Actually you know what, fuck this…self pity and self indulgent bullshit and nothing else…right I’m over it, let’s get on with it. Moping around is going to help nobody and certainly not me. I’ll put it down as one of those moments. That was a quick turn of events. And breathe.

Time For A New Normal

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There does seem to be one quite noticeable benefit of this virus and that is the very evident improvement to our natural world. I am sure by now people have seen the photos of clean canals in Venice and the dolphins swimming in the clean waters of ports. They may also have seen the graphs showing before and after images over China highlighting the decrease in pollution and heat from a suspension of industry. I’m sure I have seen one for Europe too because of a lack of cars on the roads but I don’t know how they can differentiate between vehicles and industry, I suspect the mention of cars was simply for the sake of a narrative.

I mentioned previously how I am really excited to see the longer term effects of this break in polluting and the Earth’s destruction, what the scientists will be able to tell us from a few months of clean air. This is unprecedented really because not for a second did anyone think we would actually be able to see what happens when capitalism grinds to a halt. Apparently stuff gets clean. Will the ice freeze again next winter too? Will anything happen to the jet stream that heats northern Europe from this chopping and changing of carbon dioxide and pollutants in the air and water? Will we be able to see how much the Earth is capable of cleaning and replenishing itself in such a short time. There are countless more things that my brain is unaware of or will remember later, but such opportunities for study and understanding have arisen from these circumstances.

As is clear I suspect this is only temporary, I imagine normal service will resume in a few months from now. Perhaps normal service is already far more active than I realise but I don’t doubt there will be a huge drive to return to previous levels of economic success and we all know what that means. Let’s hope that the shock of these pollutants returning doesn’t then really hurt the environment, that is always a possibility. What is interesting though is how people will view all this afterwards. People are very sceptical of anything new or unknown until they have seen it in action and one issue with this environmental damage is that it continues because it is normal. This day to day existence is normal for us.

Reusing things fifty years ago was once normal and now recycling is some kind of a new gimmick. We are terrible animals of habit and if we can create new habits we may just create a new normal. People have already started walking in parks, Snowdonia had it’s busiest weekend ever, people are getting into nature. If we have shortages people will just get used to reusing things and consuming less. Perhaps they will see photos of clean canals and realise it is possible to clean up our mess, that this huge unrelatable problem has all of a sudden become something understandable and achievable. Who knows really.

If we’re going to be open to the possibility that capitalism is going to use this opportunity to tighten it’s destructive grip we need to also be open to the fact that the very opposite could happen. All is unknown at present and while the unknown can be scary it has proven in the past to result in some of our greatest achievements as a species. We haven’t survived this long to let a little virus like capitalism keep us down, let’s not allow it to win now at this most important of junctures when it’s grip may just be at it’s weakest.

I Miss Football

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I know this might not be appreciated by those who don’t enjoy sport, and I appreciate why people don’t, but I miss the football. I’m not entirely convinced whether it benefits society in the way I may idealistically like things to bring benefit but there does seem to be something lacking from the world now that the football has been suspended. It seems so stupid and trivial to say that and it is stupid and trivial, but that doesn’t mean football doesn’t bring something positive at the same time. In times like these when all our focus seems to be on an issue that isn’t Brexit, the distractive qualities of football are sorely lacking.

There was a time when I believed that sports distracting qualities were simply being used to distract a populace from their miserable existence, and while I do kind of still believe that, it could be bloody useful now. Maybe distracting the populace is not always a bad thing, I know I view football as something that may feel life and death but it clearly allows us a break from whatever real life and death things actually exist in life. Perhaps these things that keep us on the edge of the precipice to the underworld are there not because we live in a corrupt society but because we simply exist. There is a certain duality to existence and the possibility of it being taken away.

So in these times what a shame it is that we no longer have something to distract us from the fragility of life when existence is now being hammered into our senses at any given opportunity. It would be nice to take a break. I am sure the footballers would have something to say as they are dragged around the country risking their lives for the spectacle of kicking a ball for a lot of money. Despite all my wants and desires though that has to be the main priority. I don’t doubt a fit and healthy footballer will recover but that can’t be the approach because who knows who they’ll interact with afterwards.

There is one bonus to the football season being suspended though and that is Liverpool are either going to be prevented from winning the league or they’re going to do it in such low key circumstances. There we go that’s me half nailing my colours to the mast, or at least nailing my anti-colours, those who don’t know can guess my actual preferences if you care. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t because let’s be honest it is all pretty stupid to invest such energy and emotion into something so trivial and unimportant. It’s just worth noting that when everything seems so upside down; the once trivial gains an importance not previously known or appreciated. Ah to cheer on a goal and forget something weird is going on…

Free Time Anyone?

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What is interesting with this coronavirus situation; is what people are going to discover about themselves in this period. I mean this in a completely positive way. Yes this could be a piece on the worst elements of peoples characters coming out but i’ve already talked about scumbags stealing the last pasta out of the hands of old ladies. What I mean is that if you ignore the possibility of illness and the stress of financial ruin and homelessness, I know I’m asking a lot here, this does create the most wonderful opportunity for people to find a lot of time on their hands. It is only a matter of time before we’re in lockdown, a pasta trip may be in order, but when lockdown does come we’re going to be forced to interact with ourselves a lot. That will result in a lot of ‘self-interacting’ I’m sure but when people get bored of that and have watched all the series on Netflix they can endure they may just be forced into something else.

What they will end up doing is anyones guess. I imagine if they have access to an instrument then they may learn an instrument. If they have enough books or ebooks then people are going to become rather well read. I imagine people will find the time to exercise as well as needing it when stuck around at home all day and night. Maybe people will find the time for creativity, all you need is a pencil and a blank page, and the possibilities are endless. I recommend people search online for courses because there are an endless number to complete. I mentioned the other day I had developed a new hobby, well I’m currently doing a course on edx.org and there are an infinite amount to complete. We may just connect with old friends and family, all it takes is a quick message to see how people are.

Really what I am attempting to do is put a positive spin on all this because even when something is ninety-nine percent negative there is still that one percent we can choose to focus on. Choose may be the wrong word because events are not always our choice, but it is there, it does exist. Like I said I am far too often filling these pages with some bullshit about how fucked the world is and all that goes along with that but sometimes it is important for the sake of our sanity and those around us, to not necessarily be positive, but perhaps to see the positives. There’s a difference, I’ll leave it up to you to decide what that means for yourself.

Haruki Murakami

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I finally got over my readers block and finished what feels like my first book in months. I feel very pleased with myself. With enforced isolation around the corner maybe we’ll all get a chance to have a little read soon. The book was ‘Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World’ by Haruki Murakami. I’m sure there’s a proper word for it but it is two stories running parallel to each other, which you find out as the story evolves are interconnected. One was a cyber punk detective story about a man who ‘shuffles’ information for a quasi-governmental organisation call The System and who finds himself being chased down by first The System’s shady rivals and then some underground sub-human aquatic monsters called Inklings. The story was written in 1985 so imagine all of your favourite dark grimy 80s punk sci-fi films and picture how that could look and unfold. The other is a dreamy story about a man who arrives in a walled town which he cannot leave, he has his shadow taken from him and he works as a dreamreader. The town also has unicorns. It is obvious in any book which is two stories together that they interconnect so it is probably okay to say that without giving too much away.

It seems every Murakami novel, I say every but this is only my third, the men are solitary lonely lovers of jazz and alcohol. It mustn’t be coincidental that prior to becoming an author Murakami ran a jazz bar in Tokyo. The women in his story are never like any women I’ve ever met, they seem both simple and deep and are usually quite promiscuous. I have heard criticism of his female characters as being unreal but I mentioned this to a woman once who suggested the women were merely described from the perspective of the narrator and that this was either how the narrator experienced them or how he viewed women. They couldn’t in that case be unreal and I quite like that description, it seems like an insight worth repeating when I am attempting to sound smart.

Murakami described this as his favourite novel he had written and while it is not his most successful or well renowned it does seem to have won a variety of awards over the years. I enjoyed it but I felt it lacked on to ‘South of the Border, West of the Sun’ and his collection of short stories ‘Men Without Women’ which was the first Murakami I read and didn’t just enjoy because I was feeling like a man without a woman at the time. He has a pained empty loneliness in his work, apparently in this style it is a very Japanese thing, but it feels like something you can connect with in a positive way despite those not appearing to be positive attributes at first. We enjoy authors because of story or language but quite often because we can connect to them. There is a depth to his work that is approachable and relatable, and as I finish his books I am always excited to read the next. If you haven’t read your first yet I think you know what you need to do. You may just have a little time on your hands soon anyway.

With Crisis Comes Change

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And just like that the attacks have begun. The government has been accused of all things recently, ‘inept‘ being an unfortunately common one when it refers to their response to a pandemic. Generous certainly isn’t one despite their attempts at passing off a £330 billion pledge to businesses and small businesses as some kind of benevolent offering to their subjects. The fact people are going to have to pay it back, and at a higher rate in line with inflation, suggests they vary considerably to the charitable offering made when the banks were bailed out during the last recession. We’re all in this together apparently but don’t forget nothing is for free, unless you’re part of the international banking cartel or have friends in high places.

But back to the attacks which I managed to digress from almost immediately after raising their existence. There has been a lot of talk about governments using current events to push through legislation they would have previously been unable to. Milton Friedman, the father of Neoliberal free-market economics, and the man therefore responsible for this shit show of a world economy, suggested it was. “Only a crisis – actual or perceived – produces real change. When that crisis occurs, the actions that are taken depend on the ideas that are lying around”. It appears some of these ideas that have been waiting around are being given their moment to be pushed through. In the US Trump has been suggesting payroll tax cuts which will destroy social security. In Israel proposals have been pushed through to monitor peoples phone much more easily using legislation usually reserved for post terrorist attack hysteria.

And now in the UK the government are attempting to push through the Civil Contingencies bill which will give police and immigration officers more powers to detain suspected carriers of the virus “to take them to a suitable place to enable screening and assessment” for an as yet unspecified amount of time. If someone is clearly ill and a danger to those around then it is fair for them to be taken somewhere they can get help and prevent them from harming others but this bill is dangerously ambiguous. Throw in the rather alarming length of two years that it will be in law, considering very worst case scenarios for this virus stand at eighteen months, and considering it could simply be put up for renewal each month as it’s required and the cocking of your head starts to feel justified.

This bill like everything currently in Parliament is being pushed through without debate and without being voted on. In times of crisis we need to strengthen democracy not weaken it, and certainly not use it as an opportunity to empower and enrich those already holding a disproportionate amount of power and wealth. It may be worth keeping an eye on what isn’t reported or perhaps what is whispered between the hysterical shouting. You may just start to spot a few new ideas that look as if they’ve suspiciously had a layer of dust blown off them. There’s nothing like a little crisis for some change after all.

The Covid-19 Miracle

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Times of crisis expose reality for what it is. It is undeniable that we live in a world that thrives on illusions, usually used to sell us things we don’t need and to instil a sense calm servitude. There must be a multitude of old adages about how if we as a collective people knew the truth we would rise up and smash the state and it’s puppetmasters. How true that is is slightly debatable, I don’t have much faith in us not just taking the safe and easy option given such a scenario. I am attempting to avoid talking about this coronavirus with every post but it is quite a challenge when it has entirely taken over our lives, our newsfeeds and our thought processes. Everything seems the same as I look out the window but apparently it isn’t, that may just be one of the illusions I’m still living within.

This then may not yet appear to be a crisis but from all I hear it is already well within that category of event. Even if nothing more happens now, we wake up tomorrow and miraculously Covid-19 has disappeared; we have probably done enough damage to the economy that we’ll suffer another recession. Capitalism thrives on this, we live in an age of disaster capitalism and this will be welcomed with open arms by those already starting to buy up stock on the cheap. I’m not necessarily doubting the severity of this virus, while I doubt there is much danger for myself I worry about my parents, and I know I’ve said this previously. What I will be critical of, and it is another thing to add to the disgustingly large pile of bullshit, is how the media has used any opportunity to sensationalise everything relatable they can. The hysterical criticism of people who have stockpiled food in response to the hysterical whipping up of fear that stocks may run out. Like capitalism, like the vast majority of politicians, the media has no morality. I’m not going to go as far as to say the whole thing has been set up to create a new recession but the media have certainly played such a part in bringing one about, it is easy to justify accusations it is intentional.

Saying all that though, are they not just a creation of our own making. They keep creating sensationalism because all we respond to is sensationalism. If people were more receptive to stories about initiatives in local areas that have been set up to help those in need during this crisis then maybe they would print some. Maybe they don’t exist that’s the problem. I have been attempting to find any local to me and cannot. It is probably too early, people are still out and about.

We have been taught for so long to look out for ourselves and this is easy when things are comfortable, it’s when we struggle that we need to come together. As a society we haven’t really struggled collectively since the Second World War. Politicians are already trying to invoke this kind emotive response but they’re all so pathetic and such weasels that it is hard to take them seriously. Boris Johnson with whistle to his lips about to order us over the top, “Nah you’re alright ya prick, you first…on ya go”. On the upside we may rediscover what it feels like to get to know and help your neighbour, or help anyone. Maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself with that though. The Covid-19 miracle and how it saved society. At the very least we’ll get some great data in a year or two about the environmental benefits of industry, airlines and cars being shut down. The steroid boost that slowed climate change, we have have just gained ourselves a little extra time. Now that would be a miracle.

The Guilty Magpie Wants It All

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I’ve started learning a new hobby. It would be nice if it could evolve into something someone is willing to pay me for but until that point I’ll keep it stored away in the hobby with intent file. I’ve a had a few of those, it’s probably a little fatter than it should be. It’s good to be a jack of all trades in a way but I quite fancy the relaxed possibilities that come with being a master of at least something. I heard once happiness, or at least a part of the whole happiness package, is to be a master of something because it allows you to be relaxed and content with what inevitably will take up a large part of your time. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to report on that. It only takes ten thousand hours to be a master apparently, about ten years I once worked out. Think of something you started ten years ago but didn’t carry on, doesn’t feel that long ago now eh.

What is it that makes us give up on things? Too difficult perhaps. Or we’re just lazy. I’m usually a little distracted and a little lazy. The difficulty doesn’t bother me because I’m usually naive enough to just jump in without much thought about whether I’ll be actually capable enough. I’ve also not tried anything overly taxing like theoretical physics so it’s hard to say what my limitations are. Usually myself though to be honest. I can be a lazy bugger and well I like new shinny things and once one hobby losses it’s lustre it’s quite easy to be distracted by another. Is this a thing we can blame society on I wonder, this short attention span, or is it something we need to step up to and own. Probably a little bit of both, you know how it is.

I don’t really want to talk about myself too much though, I know there is a lot of I this and I that in here. One of the reasons for this though is that we see others being successful and imagine we alone are useless, that we are alone in this world with our suffering. It turns out we’re not. It turns out we’re all useless or incompetent or incapable or whatever detrimental thing we’ve learnt to class ourselves as at something. In an ideal world I would love this new hobby of mine to evolve into something that defines my life in a positive way but I’m also aware theres a good chance it won’t. Do I beat myself up over this, let’s be honest I’m probably not going to. I know I’m not alone in this world when it comes to such things and quite often what we struggle with the most is the idea that we are, that we’re the first to have messed up. Well we’re not and I guarantee there is a long line of people who have already made that same series of ridiculous choices. Don’t beat yourself up. There’s always some other shinny thing just around the corner.

Don’t Taste The Wasp Twice

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We as a species have an inbuilt response to new things, we fear them. There is a practical reason for that and it is rational; new is unknown and unknown could mean danger. As a species we have managed to survive, adapt and evolve to the point we’re at in our evolutionary cycle. I don’t doubt one reason for our success so far has been down to instinctively following that practical approach mentioned above. Is it instinctive though? When we are young children we try to touch or eat anything new, it appears we sense next to no danger in anything, yet as adults we have become cautious if not neurotically fearful. That would suggest we are taught to fear new and unknown things but then puppies and adult dogs mirror human growth fear patterns too. Perhaps puppies learn new can mean danger because sometimes they experience the pain of discovering new things, like the taste of a wasp, or a dogs parenting is just not something obvious to my untrained eyes. Can we then take that further and use it to explain why we are so weary of new sources of information, or even new information that may contradict our previously held beliefs.

I suppose it is probably quite a straightforward idea, we distrust new sources because they are unknown and we haven’t built up a relationship of trust with them. We reject new information because our current beliefs are known to us and with them we have so far survived to this point in life. With them we have safety and life, potentially this unknown new information may lead to danger and the taking away of either our safety or in the extreme our life. There is also the issue of narrative to take into consideration, what doesn’t fit our narrative we are likely to dismiss but I’ll not go down that avenue this time.

I was sent a link to a video on YouTube by a friend who has a differing set of ideals and beliefs about how best we should approach the world than I do. I rarely bother engaging him in discussion anymore because neither of us come close to seeing the others perspective and I always end it feeling exhausted and frustrated that I’ve wasted an evening arguing with a brick wall. When I received this video I assumed immediately it would relate to one of his points previously made, which it did, and in my mind I had already rejected it before even contemplating watching it. My initial response was to see it was a YouTube video and dismiss it as worthless. There are many useful videos on YouTube and I have taught myself how to do all sorts of things through them, but videos of a political or social nature are quite often just a pile of tosh. I had already rejected the point because of the source platform. I decided to watch it a little, not the full one hour because I have better things to do, and did some research on the speaker and his organisation. Seemingly they are of a different persuasion to me but I still watched and tried to listen to the message. After ten disagreeable minutes I gave up because I found him frustrating, it appears you can’t argue with a pre-recorded person. I do understand why angry people comment now but I still refuse to get involved in that game. Ultimately my point is that I like to think I gave the speaker the opportunity and I listened with a clear mind but it’s not easy when you already think the platform the information is on and the source of the information are unreliable and bullshit.

Absorbing new information is clearly an incredibly challenging task. We struggle to absorb anything that is new because it is unknown and potentially dangerous, and we struggle to accept anything contradictory to our present set of beliefs as it challenges what has so far kept us safe. The YouTube example above is an easy one to dismiss because the contents and the platform are like the Daily Star of video journalism but sometimes we get contradictory information from credible sources and this can be hard to accept and equally dismiss.

The more I delve into these things the more I’m starting to realise just how hard, if not impossible, it is being some kind of discerning, moral and decent person. Here I am, just like yesterday back to the fallible human. Is failure what makes us human, or perhaps the ability to recognise and improve on our past failures. It is okay to be fallible. It is unavoidable clearly, but is it only acceptable if and when we try and avoid repeat failure. Being conscious of our previous failures, accepting that they are inevitable and pushing on in the search of perfection, or at the very least an acceptable success. Don’t try and taste the wasp twice, it’s all so simple now, if only I had realised that earlier.

How To Be Human In The Zombie Apocalypse

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Coronavirus panic seems to have ramped up to zombie apocalypse levels. I have not been able to resist keeping an eye on the latest news updates online and we seem to just be seeing photo’s of empty shelves and pandemonium everywhere. Apparently everyone is being selfish and one Tweet from some politician told of some guy buying the last of the pasta and refusing to share even one with some old lady. This would seem to prove the existence of widespread selfish behaviour, or at least prove examples of it exist and therefore the selfish narrative if you’re attempting to push one. I of course wasn’t there and haven’t been to a big supermarket in about ten days when I went to buy some goats milk butter, I’m so middle class, because they don’t have it in my local shop. Unsurprisingly there had not been a rush on it although I can confirm there wasn’t a great deal of toilet paper left, it does appear people think they can eat it. Seriously though of all the things to rush to buy, the one thing people think they can’t survive without is loo roll? In times of emergency I reckon you’ll get used to Indian style pretty quickly.

But back to this arsehole hoarding the pasta. If true I would love to know the bigger picture. Did he finally give her some? Did someone step in and persuade him to share? Or even force him to share? There are videos online of people fighting over toilet roll, imagine how it’ll be when it’s over the last tin of baked beans. I wonder what I would do in that situation, would I be a coward or would I stand up for the old lady, and would I give up or persevere. I doubt people really know beyond the fantasy of their imagination but I’m sure we all hope we would one way or another have managed to get the old lady her pasta.

Other updates in the ensuing apocalypse are that a raft of rather disagreeable world leaders seem to be getting tested. It’s a tricky one and I wonder how our public sentiments on these issues vary from our inner thoughts. Scumbags like Australian Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton have tested positive, do we respond joyfully, neutrally or compassionately for him as a human being (supposedly). The Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro tested negative, do we admit to a little disappointment? And then there’s the big one, The Donald has taken his test and will find out in a day or two. We are only human, are we at sainthood levels when we can react equally to everyone in the public eye getting tested? At what point do we just admit our response to hearing Tom Hanks and his wife tested positive was not the same as when we heard Donald Trump is being tested. Does that make us bad? They are still humans, they are still someones mother or father despite how disconnected from any concept of an emotional bond we imagine they have. But we’re also human so we’re fallible. That also means if we want to be excused for our own fallibility we may just have to try understand and excuse theirs. Or just continue being fallible, and proving how human we are.

Saying all of this, it won’t matter anyway soon. We’re all going to be deep in a zombie apocalypse as people prove the fragility of society. Proving they have no sense at all of the so called community they think they’re fighting for with guns or the ballot box. It’s depressing when you realise just how shit people not are but can be. I really hope that old lady got her pasta and whoever reported the moment didn’t just stand there and take a video of it on their phone. To miss the point of ones very own judgemental reporting. Ah to be human.