Author: Hamar Williams

The People Destroyer

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There is a civil war at present in the Labour Party. If we’re honest there has been one ever since Corbyn tried to reclaim control from the right-wing elements of the party. Tony Blairs New Labour strikes back then. What comes next? Certainly the strengthening of the Tory Parties position when half of Labours voters go and support whatever new party is born out of this. even if it’s a third it’ll still destroy Labour. I get the feeling though that Corbyn wouldn’t want to create a new party as he knows the repercussions of splitting the vote. I wonder whether Starmer and his allies would do the same. Regardless of all that Corbyn has been suspended, likely expelled at one point and yes the whole thing is entirely political, it has little to do with actual anti-semitism.

The EHRC said in the report Labour members would be allowed to criticise the extremity of the findings. Corbyn said the accusations were overstated for political purposes. He did what was allowed of him yet he was suspended anyway. Starmer is picking and choosing what he wants to take out of the report. There are fair criticism but it’s not all as bad as it is being portrayed. This reaction will simply entrench the divisions further. Yet again nobody wins, well not anyone who should.

As I mentioned yesterday it’s the blatant manner in which all of this is unfolding. Or is being perpetrated more like. It all just seems so obvious yet it’s happening and seems unstoppable. Just like America, when did politics in the UK become a soap opera. It’s worrying. It’s also a sign of modern times with twenty-four hour news coverage and politicians using social media for their own personal agendas. While knives were once thrust in backs in dark little corners in Whitehall now it’s done with a tweet. Micheal Gove tweeting today and referencing how little Starmer seemed to give a shit when he was on Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet. That’s a fair point actually. The obvious one is Trump and the reality television show he has created, he’s completely normalised politicians interacting and attacking each other on Twitter. The world has gone mad. And while this seems extreme it isn’t showing any signs of abating yet.

In the meantime the anti-Corbyn narrative is going strong. Even once he’s resigned they’re still not content. It’s like Assange, don’t just beat him, destroy him so he never even thinks about getting back up again. It does show the danger of him, them. That’s when you know people are really challenging power, or at least a part of power. It’s worth remember that when you see people who talk of making change yet don’t get destroyed by a powerful media narrative. Shall we learn from the past, well we haven’t yet, at least not in the good ways.

Interplanetary Establishment Stooges

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This was going to be a piece on the EHRC report into anti-semitism within the Labour party. If I was attempting to be a super duper up to the minute journalist then it probably should be but instead I’m just some guy who likes to spout his limited opinion on various things on a daily basis. Tomorrow I have a long journey to Athens and as there is so much stuff coming out on this purge I would like to digest it first. Also, and more importantly, far more important than any of this power politics nonsense which I’ll get myself worked up about tomorrow and a day late, is an article in The Independent that says scientists “have found a “rogue” planet floating through our galaxy, untethered to any sun”.

What the fuck?! What the actual fuck?!! And how the actual fuck is something like this not a bigger story. Apparently it is the smallest rogue world ever found and has a mass somewhere between Earth and Mars. There are rogue worlds?! What the…you get the point. The universe is incredible and not just because I’m about to watch the last two episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I always thought planets revolved around a sun but there appears to be loads just floating around freely. It does beg the question though, what if it’s a Death Star? It probably isn’t but saying it definitely isn’t is surely a rational or logical impossibility. We exert so much energy arguing and worrying over the most stupid little things and there’s planets, which haven’t been proven not to be Death Stars, just floating around out there. In all seriousness though, why do we limit the possibilities of existence when we’re constantly proving how little we actually know. Socrates got it, he understood.

It doesn’t take away from the fact Keir Starmer isn’t just another establishment stooge doing other people’s dirty work. He’s a total prick let’s be honest. This whole attack on Jeremy Corbyn is incredible to observe. Just step back from it, detach yourself and observe it objectively. He challenged real power and they’re destroying him. You can see the mechanisms grinding away, the people and institutions involved. This is the type of thing you see on some television series. Yet this is real life and it’s absolutely blatant. It’s fascinating, it’s horrifying. It does show how exposed they are in this modern day world with the internet. Won’t mean a lot though when this new planet settles in our orbit and we discover we’ve got neighbours. I wonder how quickly Starmer will decide to worship his new masters.

Life & Death

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The refugee crisis never really went away, it just calmed down a little and was forgotten about. People are still dying on a daily basis. Children are still drowning and we’re continuing to let it happen because of ideological beliefs, ignorance and our own self-serving desires. With the names, ages and photographs of the dead Kurdish-Iranian family being realised there is finally a human face being put on those desperate enough to risk their lives because what they leave behind is worse. Not since Alan Kurdi washed up on that Turkish beach over five years ago have refugees been treated like human beings. It is such a rarity, it stands out as novel. And here we are; Rasoul Iran-Nejad, 35, Shiva Mohammad Panahi, 35, Anita, 9, Armin, 6 and Artin, 15 months. Victims.

It would be easy to blame the current Government, they make it easy. Priti Patel, the Home Secretary, Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister, Dominic Cummings, the man with the advice. They’re responsible. The leader of the opposition Keir Starmer, he’s responsible. They are culpable but to turn this into a piece going on about particular politicians or leaders doesn’t do a dead family any honour. If anything they just get used so a point can be made. It doesn’t respect them it just makes them pawns and objects in this continued war for power. They have power, we don’t like how they use it, we think we could do better, we use a dead family as a stick and next week we find something else. We just use them. We use them in the same way the other side would use the highjacking of the oil tanker by Nigerians seeking refuge earlier this week. Desperate people getting used in desperate moments.

How then can we create legitimate discussions about the deaths of these people and find a culpable party or argue about how and whether people should be able to move freely on this planet, without using examples of those who died as a consequence of a series of decision based upon those arguments. We must be able to discuss it. Is it blame? Do discussions fail the moment we allow blame and guilt in? People make errors and there will always be repercussions but it feels like both sides of the argument, the accuser and the accused, don’t want to find a resolution, or at least a resolution that doesn’t perpetuate the cycle of suffering.

In that case we, us, me, I am just as responsible as those previously mentioned leaders. Their job is to be the face of guilt and when that guilt becomes too much they’ll be replaced by a fresh face and so on. We continue to perpetuate this by deluding ourselves into believing the next fresh face will be the good one yet we don’t even know what that means because we ourselves don’t behave or exist in any morally virtuous way. But then we’re human and we’re fallible. We need to forgive ourselves for this too and accept these ideas of good and bad are simply ideas, nothing more. In the meantime a young family have died and while young families have always died and young families will always die let’s not make their death pointless. Life is never worthless and death will always be it’s equal.

An Inexperienced Advanced Scuba Diver

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Advanced diver reporting for duty. It’s amazing what the title of a certificate can imply. Having now dived a total of eleven times I am not advanced in experience or knowledge yet the title suggests otherwise. It does mean I can now dive to depths of thirty metres which is a vast improvement on the eighteen I’ve been able to for the last thirteen years. There are no guarantees but the plan is to dive more than once in the next thirteen. I’m a total sucker for courses and learning so at the very least I’ll be working my way through these as time goes on. I quite fancy doing some wreck diving, night diving, dry suit diving and the enriched air nitrox diving. Because I value life, and not just mine, and also because these are skills we should all have, I’ll do the rescue diver course eventually too. First before all of that I’ll just see what comes up and do some diving as the opportunity arises. If next years plans come together, judging by this year though I won’t hold my breath, which you should never do when diving by the way, anything is possible. The whole point of this was to allow for future diving and not just future courses after all.

There is a phobia called submechanophobia, which is a fear of submerged man-made objects like shipwrecks, submarines, buoys and other such things. I discovered this when discussing the sea with someone who suffers from extreme anxiety. I can appreciate the fear because when I’ve looked at images of sunken shipwrecks or submarines there is something eerily terrifying about them. Perhaps it’s the implication of death. The same exists for images of sudden drops that disappear into darkness or images of divers from a distance in the ocean with nothing around them for miles. There is something about these types of images that creates a fearful reaction, perhaps it’s some instinctive survival mechanism. When diving though it feels different. I can look over the edge of a drop that becomes nothingness but it isn’t necessarily scary. The mind is aware of possible dangers both rational and irrational but nothing like images manage to portray. When you are in and around it you understand how much is in the mind.

And that is one of the things that we can get from diving especially. Diving is not simply an adventure for the body but for the mind too, arguably more so. With all the water around and despite there being another person there, you feel fully in your own little bubble. Nothing else is going on. Nothing on the surface in our distracted little minds. You’re just under the water with the fish and the coral keeping yourself buoyant and focused. Even if you’re not keeping yourself focused you drift off into your surroundings, no opportunity to be anything but present. And for the last two evenings I’ve been so chilled out and not just from being tired or because I’ve had decompression sickness which I haven’t. Sailing and diving, I could think of worse hobbies and lifestyles.

Until Tomorrow

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Staring at a blank screen. The modern day blank paper. Think of something, do it now. Be creative, write some words worth repeating. Yet nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

Well always something but it can feel like nothing. It’s times like these you remember to just start saying something, anything. Less than three weeks left. How will I force myself when I don’t have to. That is the real discipline. But I have an idea. Ideas never unfold as supposed to though. I’m curious to know how it’ll feel not to write. After one year of doing this everyday no matter what. How do you then experience not doing it. I might actually miss this little blog.

What to replace it with though. Likely nothing I’ll force upon others in the short term at least but hopefully something creative in another respect. It was discussed, the importance of creativity with a friend a few weeks ago. To say it is important over simplifies an understanding of creativity. But to go down that route in this moment will only result in me being both ridiculous and pretentious. Let’s just say it brings something to life, creativity in any form. it’s not just painting a picture or writing some words, it anything, it’s life.

Bellend.

That’ll do. I have heartburn. I wasn’t very creative with my dinner tonight and ate yesterdays lentils and sausage mixed with some pasta. My burps taste of sausage but I think it’s the day old lentils that have done it. I have a feeling day old lentils do this type of thing. Ah feelings. I quite fancy a beer. I think I’m just thirsty. I would love to say I don’t add salt to my food but certainly that sausage would have been packed full. Sausages are so disgusting yet we always go back. That’s because they’re also really tasty. Or they can be. This one was.

A Cretan rustic sausage to be precise. I liked Crete. I would like to go back. I was tempted this winter actually. Seems like a strange time to be moving places though. The world is shutting down and I’m doggedly fighting what is before my eyes. Why do we do this. Why can acceptance be so difficult. Too many options I always say. Most likely fear of something not immediately obvious. Back to Scotland instead though and what feels like the epicentre of everything viral. It isn’t but seemingly not far off. To leave a reasonably relaxed, warm Greece for a dark, cold inevitable lockdown in Scotland. We make the strangest of choices. They are neither right nor wrong because there is not such thing. Simply a series of events we compare against each other based upon a set of ideas formed from something long forgotten. And yet we choose value and we choose our response to this choice. One day we shall overcome. That’s likely what death beds are for though. Avoiding life’s only real obsession may be wise for now.

I shall end on this.

For now. And come back tomorrow.

Subsidised Injustice

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Marcus Rashford is kicking arse again. Well Tory arse. And sort of. They don’t seem to be doing as his star appeal demands which was inevitable, they couldn’t be seen to bow to him or anyone in his position too many times. While that was inevitable, it was also always going to be the case in doing so they would be shamed in the process. It isn’t even him shaming them though, he’s just making a series of valid points, it’s their reaction, they’re shaming themselves.

They’re shaming themselves because they deny children food, they let innocent children go hungry when they spend and waste not just millions but billions of pounds. The money wasted during the pandemic on them being ill prepared and then on them continuing to behave in a manner which could only be described as incompetent. The twelve billion pounds wasted on a failed test and trace system. The contracts given out to friends, associates and Tory donors, many of whom had none or little experience in what they were being paid to do. We could discuss Brexit and the utter bankrupting shambles that it has inevitably shown itself to be. We could discuss the HS2 vanity and cronyism project that does nothing to improve the infrastructure of another failed privatisation experiment. We could go on and on but this isn’t a dissertation, I haven’t enough words.

Rashford is simply stating the obvious and the Tories are doing everything else to themselves. There have been photos going around social media this week of the menu for the restaurant in The House of Commons. Whether this menu is accurate is not important, the truth is that this is a subsidised restaurant, a restaurant taken advantage of by millionaires who happily allow their lunch to be subsidised by the tax payers. This is a link to a website with a long list of the Tory MPs who voted against feeding hungry children. There are three MPs who claimed over eighty thousand pounds in expenses this last year. That is the equivalent of over four people on the minimum wage and doesn’t include the basic eighty-one thousand pound salary MPs are paid. What on earth do they need to claim that much on. Interestingly my local MP The Right Honourable John Lamont claimed seventy-six thousand pounds. He may just be due a letter from one of his constituency. I wonder why he doesn’t feel the need to feed hungry children. Interestingly Jacob Rees Mogg claimed nothing. Doesn’t change anything though, he still thinks kids should go hungry.

They say the existing benefits system is in place to compensate for and cover these costs and to feed the children. That would be fair enough if the current benefits system hadn’t been obliterated in the last ten years of Tory rule, resulting in over four million children finding themselves in poverty. That is between a quarter and a third of all British children which is just remarkable for a country that prides itself on being at the forefront the developed world. You may not see things with your own eyes but the numbers are staggering. It’s not supposed to be this way. Steaks should not be subsidised when young bellies remain empty. They certainly shouldn’t be subsidised for the ones actively keeping those bellies empty. This, this is an injustice and it’s subsidised by us.

Scuba Diving

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Thirteen years ago when I was but a twenty-one year old child, in a fit of decisive madness I did my PADI Open Water scuba diving course. This was during a six week trip through Thailand with a friend on the island of Koh Tao. It was good fun but despite getting the certificate the truth is we were probably too drunk when not doing the diving to have the mental capacity to remember anything. What I took from it though was that I was far happier below the surface of the water than I am on top of it. There is a vulnerability perhaps that disappears when you have a tank of air but more so you can see around you and the unknown becomes slightly less so.

There are still dangers, a rather aggressive and territorial triggerfish threateningly swam between my friends legs and when the instructor pointed this out, much to his consternation us idiots thought he was suggesting we go take a look at the lovely fishy. A few years later when I lived in Ibiza my boss was also a dive instructor and he took me out on a refresher dive. I enjoyed diving generally but having spent a majority of the last ten years as a barefoot traveller climbing in supermarket bins for food, diving has simply been cost prohibitive. Today though, for the first time in ten years I’m going diving.

…nine hours later…

I wouldn’t go as far as saying that was fun but I enjoyed it. Sometimes endured it but on the whole enjoyed it. I still struggle a little with equalising and getting my buoyancy right was a continual losing battle but it’s just something that needs a little practise. Ultimately with diving it’s one of those things that you can get better at but the secret is that if or when something happens you just need to avoid panicking. Admittedly making all these statements in four metres of water is one thing and thirty metres deep as you suddenly realise you’ve got a problem with your air and you stuck inside the wreck of some Spanish galleon would be an entirely different thing.

I don’t totally get off on diving but that’s partly because I’m still not very good at it and I do struggle to enjoy the sensation of salt water in my nose and mouth. Being Scottish I always like to believe sea water is to be appreciated from something I can stand on, and not the seabed. Saying that you do feel good after you’ve spent a bit of time in it and the longer around it, the more you want to get in. I imagine living beside the sea for a year and swimming everyday would have a dramatic affect on your outlook in that sense. Anyway, it appears I went and agreed to do my Advanced Open Water this coming week before I return to Scotland so I must have got something out of today.

The Sun Shining Out Of It’s Own Arse

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Are you ready for me to state the obvious, because I’m going to. I’m going to do it now. The Sun newspaper is full of shit. Yes I know everyone knows it but some forget and it allows them get away with things. The danger with them getting away with things is that they are the number one read newspaper in the UK, owner Rupert Murdoch is a scumbag and also unfortunately people both believe him and vote the way he wants them to. The reason I bring this up is because Facebook‘s algorithm decided I might like to read this article on a man at a school who “could be 40”. To confirm the success of the algorithm I clicked on the link because it sounded ridiculous and because sometimes I have dreams that I’m back at school in sixth form and my mind related becoming curious in the process. It turned out not to be the silly article I originally thought it would be.

The headline – “Worried parents demand answers over new pupil who ‘could be 40’ joining school after moving to UK” – was not on the original link but the nature of the story becomes clear with it. The article goes on to pander to a narrative that child refugees or child migrants are not actually children or more precisely under eighteen. It would be worth mentioning that sometimes this does happen. I don’t deny it but it is important to understand that it’s not rife and it should not discredit the claims to refuge that minors, many of them unaccompanied, make. The article brings up the story of some Iranian who wasn’t under-18 who spent six weeks at a school in Stoke in 2018 before tests confirmed he wasn’t a minor. Without any proof it then uses this example as evidence of guilt in regards the second person with a thinly veiled implication that feeds racist and anti-immigrant rhetoric.

Confirmation bias is a very real thing. We pay more attention to information that confirms our pre-existing understanding of the world. It is very hard to avoid confirmation bias because we’re all susceptible to it’s subtly. This unfortunately is simple and blatant propaganda. It reaches millions of people and the end result is things like Brexit and a majority Conservative government. The people voting for such things will not benefit from them but owners of newspapers like The Sun will. The independent media and the people are at war with powerful vested and influential interests, and themselves. You can’t overcome real power without the people, but first we need to overcome ourselves. I don’t just lay the blame on others, we’re all to blame. Just please don’t buy or believe this crap.

The Blindboy Simulation

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This is something I will admit I know next to nothing about. Admittedly most things I chirp on about I know a lot less than I would like to or attempt to give off the impression of knowing. Not even knowledge, at least an understanding of. Although as I write that I suspect knowledge comes before understanding so I’m maybe saying them in the wrong order. Anyway I was just listening to The Blindboy Podcast which is hosted by Blindboy Boatclub who is an Irish satirist and one half of hiphop duo The Rubberbandits. I had never heard of him until I watched an episode of Frankie Boyle’s New World Order in which he was one of the guests. The premise of the show is a few comedians sit around discussing a couple of events which happened in the week and one guest comes on to discuss one topic. Blindboy’s was to do with the Union and the inevitable recession facing the English. I don’t think he quite connected with the rest of the guests and he had some interesting things to say but they didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength which was shame. I did though research this man from Limerick who wears a plastic bag on his head to hide his identity and it turns out he has a podcast. I’m now onto the third episode of this. He has a lot.

The first one was an interview with Graham Norton which was quite interesting and I suspect I’m not the only person out there who made that their first episode. The second was a dissection of QAnon which is a dangerous anti-semitic conspiracy theory that suggests Donald Trump is going to save the world by revealing the secrets of child murdering celebrities and adrenal creams. I’m half way through the third one and he’s discussing snails which can’t stop masturbating because they catch some kind of bacterial disease or something. That’s the first half and apparently he ends with a story about taking ecstasy live on Irish radio but I haven’t got that far.

Part of the snail story discusses simulations and how we may be living in one. It relates to fungus that take over the minds of ants, resulting in zombie ants which spread the fungus throughout the colony which then feeds the fungus and so on. I have heard of this, or at least recognise the images he describes about fungus growing out of the ants they’ve taken over. He discussed about how scientists with the use of quantum mechanics discovered something about black holes and how whatever this thing is points towards the idea that we are simply living in a simulation. What I know next to nothing about is quantum mechanics and black holes. I do like to reference quantum mechanics when trying to disprove the absolute truth of determinism because of the existence of random events but beyond that, and I doubt I really know the workings of that, I don’t know shit. But that doesn’t matter.

The point is that potentially we are living in a simulation. Blindboy mentioned the ancient Vedic scriptures which also suggest we may be living in a simulation. My mind then drifted on to science and how it has been proving a lot of things previously dismissed as nonsense, such as auras. In someway science is already like a religion. It is blindly followed as truth despite constantly changing and proponents of science, which I am far more than I’m not, can and are accused of being dogmatic in the process. Science then is becoming a religion, in certain respects at least. The important point though is that we’re just living in a simulation. Or maybe we’re not. But maybe we are. Does that mean there is a point to it all. There is a point to existence after all and maybe it isn’t simply to push a boulder up a mountain and watch it roll down the other side. Anyway, interesting podcast, well worth a listen.

Coffee & Ambling

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Today was a remarkably contemplative day. I went for a long walk. There is nothing like a good amble when we need a think. I can’t remember the book, but I remember reading about various people from history who in their journals used to write about having their best ideas when walking. I feel compelled to agree with them. Contemplation isn’t always easy, in fact it can be a real challenge. What it is is unclear but perhaps the movement involved allows for the removal of stagnant energy clouding our thoughts. As we’re refreshed from the walk, which is also not too energetic that we’re distracted, or thoughts are refreshed with it. I also had a bamboo cane I found on the beach as a walking staff. I’ll make a good contemplative old man one day.

In other news brexit brexit brexit, covid covid covid, corruption corruption corruption. If it wasn’t for the fact it had such a potentially life threatening affect on our lives it would be so mentally beneficial to just block it all out. Such energy always clouding our minds. I did watch football last night though and it was a good result. An hour prior to kick off I started looking at the football news and seeing what was going on. Prior to that I hadn’t looked at a single football related thing since I suggested I would give up football news a few days ago. The interesting thing was that I got bored after half an hour of reading about stuff and just wanted to start watching the game. I don’t miss it. I love the game but I don’t miss all the other stuff.

Unfortunately my procrastinating is no different. I have given up the football and found myself binge watching a series. That’ll pass, admittedly only when I finish it or run out of data but it’ll pass. Importantly when it does pass I won’t have football to fall back on. I’m still so full of excitement about all the things I’ll replace football news with. Although as I said yesterday we only have now and I should probably take that into consideration and not this addictive series. Do I just need a vice? Maybe I should just become an alcoholic instead. I’m not designed for a life of purity I suspect. I’ve given up giving up coffee, maybe I’ll just stick to that. How boring life would be though if coffee was your worst vice. Surely life should be slightly more reckless than that. Might get in the way of all the ambling though.